Is it rude not to sit nex to my colleague on the coach?

Question

Two weeks ago, a new trainee started at work and she can be quite intrusive and doesn't stop talking. Sometimes I feel like she's using me just because I'm a good listener, but it can be really annoying.

Tomorrow, we happen to travel in the same coach by co-incidence, on a 2 hours journey. Would it be rude to just greet her, say a few friendly words and then find my own seat? Surely she'll expect me to sit next to her and talk, but I've got a headache even imagining it. I don't want to hurt her feelings though. What do you think?

Answer 1

There is no better answer to a question like this then trying on that persons shoes. Imagine you just started a new job where you didn't know anyone, now you have to take a trip and you luck out, one of the few people you are acquainted with is on the same bus.

Sitting with this person may not be considered rude to some but where I come from  it's very rude. Especially if you know there is a potential to hurt her feeling.  I too have a co worker that never stops talking, and sometimes the night shift with her can be unbearable.

to solve this problem I always give her a little bit of time to talk, then I would portlyly ask," I'm sorry, I'm not much of a talker and although I do enjoy your company, I was wondering, would you mind a little quiet time for relaxation?"

Her her proper response should be to give you the personal space you asked for.

If a new co worker didnt want to sit with me, and I knew it from either asking, or from body language, I would assume she didn't like me, and it would make me starting my new job even more uncomfortable.

I hope this helps and good luck

Answer 2

I often don't sit next to some of my colleagues on trips, because quite often I can't stand them. It's not rude, put yourself first, why should it be that you have to suffer for two hours?

Answer 3

well it is not really in this situatuion , she will partly understand. Try to get a seat and pretend to sleep . I used to be in this circumstances.It is quite tactful!

Answer 4

Try to board first if possible and find a seat next to someone else. (This could be a big gamble in itself though, (better the devil you know). If you see her then yes you definately should greet her politely, then find your own seat.  If it turns out you find yourself in the situation where you are sitting together then excuse yourself as soon as the journey begins and say you are tired, need to catch up on things or need some quiet time because you are a bit unwell etc and either read a book, work on your laptop,sleep or listen to your IPod. Otherwise take the time to get to know her.  She may be different away from work, being extra talkative and chattering is a sign of nerves.

Answer 5

Say hello to her.. and smile and sit where you want.. get a book out and study it .. for some minutes... just read.. if she looks your way you are busy.. you don't have to sit next to her as long as you treat her with politeness and greet her.. but what do you do if you are on the bus before her and she comes and the seat next to you is still not taken.. then it would be kind of rude if you put your bag there and did not let her sit next to you but you can take a book along on this 2 hour trip and really politely say to her if this should happen and she wants to make small talk.. that you really find this book most interesting and please not to mind you but that you take advantage of the 2 hour bus trip to read several chapters.. then she has to keep quiet..

Answer 6

Take along a good book and crack the binding.  If she insists on talking, tell her you want to finish your book first, and then turn to the preface...Also, tell her you need some "alone time" because you were really overwhelmed with people today.  In any case, just let her know you need some quiet time before you get to your destination.  Of course, faking motion sickness can be wonderful in this situation, too.  Just remember to keep a paper or plastic "barf-bag" handy.  Good luck.

Answer 7

I think it will be a bit rude. Maybe you can take a book with you, or some work that needs to done, say something like: I'm sorry "Mary" but I really need to get this done.

Answer 8

Be gentle but firm.  When you see her, tell her you didn't get much sleep last night.  

Maybe your friend was over with her newborn the night before?? On the phone all night with a friend in need?

Then ask, with a smile, "You don't mind if I sit alone so I can stretch out and catch some rest, do you?"

How can she say no?

Answer 9

It's not rude. Make a persuading excuse and let her judge and come to conclusions on her own.

Answer 10

Sit next to someone else (a quiet person) so there's no empty set for her to sit in. You could even discretely organise this ahead of time.

Answer 11

in time you may be friends and end up sitting there for the whole two hours talking  (i can see your face reading that!!)

but for now it is fine to say hello and find your own space, as you have to see them at work... trust me they prob feel the same

Answer 12

i catch the same bus as my colleague very often, and we have never sat together! we might get on fine at work, but outside work we have nothing in common, and therefore i don't think it is rude at all to sit somewhere else. take an mp3 player / radio and earphones, and a book / some work you "have to do" if you feel a bit awkward about not sitting next to her.

Answer 13

you are entitled to sit where you wish you don't' have to sit next to this person if they say anything just say you have a headache and would like to sit on your ,own  hope this helps x

Answer 14

three options

1. get an ipod or something and offer to share the music

2. bring some documents from work and say you really have to finish these.

3. tell her your getting motion sickness and take a panadol then just go to sleep...or pretend to