Is it rude to ask?

Question

I have just decided on and asked all my bridesmaids is it rude to ask them to buy there own dresses as they know its a smal budget. How do i ask?

Answer 1

No its not rude!  But you will have to be more flexible about what they wear... afterall they are paying for it!  

You could hire the dresses.. that would make it cheaper!

Just tell them.. you are on a budget & that if they could buy/hire their own it would be helpful.  (tell them it will be thier wedding present to you both & that you dont want a gift from them!)

Answer 2

no its not rude, its expected!!

budget or not, they haVE TO GET A DRESS ANYWAYS, SO THEY WILL HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING A BRIDESMAID AND BUYING THE ONES YOU CHOOSE, BUT CHOOSE SOMETHING INEXPENSIVE, NO MORE THAT 150..GO TO JESSICA MCLINTOCK COMPANY STORE OR DAVIDS BRIDAL, THEY HAVE ALOT OF CHOICES AND THE MOST EXPENSIVE ONES ARE LIKE 165!

MOST PEOPLE EXPECT IT

Answer 3

it isn't rude...i think actually it's more rude for your bridesmaids to assume that YOU will pay for their dresses.

where i got married, you never really hear about brides paying for the all the bridesmaids gowns. when i was planning my wedding, i made sure to find inexpensive gowns and an inexpensive hair salon because all my girls were on tight budgets. when someone signs on to be a bridesmaid, typically they understand the costs associated (and that generally means gown, hair, nails, and/or bridal shower).

Answer 4

It depends what your circumstance is, and you have to look at how much you're asking them to contribute - do they have to travel to get to your wedding ?, will they throw you a bridal shower ?  will they be buying you a wedding present ?

Also look at their circumstance.

And if you do ask them to buy their own dresses, then it's not appropriate for you to just pick it and say "buy it", instead you need it needs to be a consultative process - group emails work well.

Answer 5

No, it's not rude.  I have been in 6 weddings and I have always purchased my dress.  In fact, I've never once thought I wouldn't have to.  That's just part of being a bridesmaid.

Answer 6

most of the time the bride's maids pay for their dresses and the groom's men pay for their tuxes unless the bride and groom can do it financially. for our wedding we payed $40 toward their clothing as part of their gift and then bought all the accesories. the dresses ended up costing them $78 after that, and we picked dresses that required no alterations for all but 1 girl. we figured they would all like the idea of not having to break the bank to be in our wedding (it's easy to go over board, cost my husband and i about $400 each to be in sil wedding)

just be considerate toward them and pick out the cheapest dress you can find that you like, tea lengh tend to be cheaper, or pick a color and have them pick out their dress. the last wedding i was in that did that i did end up picking out a more expensive dress because i liked it and felt pretty in it.

as for as letting them know, they proplably already know, so your options are to just not say anything about it at all. when you ask be honest and just tell them what the expensise will be to be in your wedding. or ask them and then tell them as their gift you will be paying X amont toward the dresses.

keep in mind that what ever dress you chose most likely will need alterations and they cost $$$, so add another $50 to $100 to the cost of their dress, look for a dress as close to $100 as possible to keep their cost down.

Answer 7

Just look around and find a dress for them that you like that is not very expensive... It isn't rude for you to ask, as bridesmaids they should expect to pay for their dresses because that's one of the things bridesmaids do.

Answer 8

OOOOOOO.... thats tough!!!! just explain to them that it is a tough budget and because money is so tight, if they could please hire or buy their own dress! (make sure to give them a colour to go by. you dont want orange and pink and bright green)

they should be honoured to be such an impoortance to you special day! if they have a problem then i dont think they worth it!!!! :)

congrats by the way! hope your day is SPECTACULAR!!!!!!!!!! :)

Answer 9

If you live in the USA it is automatically asumed the bride's maids buy their own outfits.......so you really don't have to ask them....just remind them at the shop so they can back out if it's too expensive for them...and take them into consideration as far as the cost of the dress.....good luck

Answer 10

It's not rude at all, after all, they'll be wearing the dress, plus, i'm sure all of them would be flattered to be chosen in the first place. But maybe, if you think it could be a little expensive for them as well, you could just set a colour theme for the ladies to follow. This way, they're all in the same colour, and all within their budget.

If you didn't want people to mix-n-match, you could ask them to decide on a similar style as well. But, I've seen pictures of weddings where the bridesmaids choose their own dresses and it works very well. This being because each person can choose a style which suits their body. Just make sure there are some guidelines :D

Hope things work out well!

Answer 11

not at all your bridemaids are your friends or family right so either way they should know what you up against there is not better way to ask just ask , but there is a manner in which to do so , dont be abrupt or anything be you and erxplain

you will be fine dont stress and good luck enjoy

when is the big day ?

Answer 12

Tell them you haven't got a lot of spare cash. Explain that you would love for them to be your bridesmaids and could they pay for their dresses instead of buying gifts. I don't think they will mind at all.

Answer 13

I would suggest a token Gift check with the details.

This way you have contributed some thing towards it.

Choose a color theme and do not go for expensive dresses. They too may not be able to splurge. So go easy.

Talk to all of them separately and explain to them nicely as you hand the token amount; After making sure they understand and are still willing to be one.

Answer 14

It is normal for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.  When you ask them to be in your bridal party most of them will assume they will be paying for their dresses.  Just try to pick something with their budgets in mind, so no one feels strained to buy it.

It's also nice if you let them have some say in what they much buy, or pick something that they can actually wear again.  For example, pick a colour and then let them pick the style they like in that colour/fabric, so they will match, but the style suits them and they will like the dress enough to get more than one wearing out of it.

I'm having black cocktail dresses for my bridesmaids.  They just have to be black (we'll all decide on what fabric they all want together) and then they can have whatever style they want (they are having them made).  My sisters are my bridesmaids and I know my younger sister will want more of a party dress but my older sister will want something more modest with sleeves.  Our colours are cranberry, silver and gold (it's a Christmas wedding) so I will have cranberry red sashes made to go around their waists, but it won't even be attached, so they can remove them and just have a black dress.

Answer 15

not it's not rude to ask them to pay their dresses but I as well have a small budget I found out that it was cheaper to have there gowns made.  If you know someone that is a seamstress and can do an awesome that is a thought for you to help you and your girls to save money. We found material to make 10 gowns which is for my train bearer, guest book attendant, greeter and bridal party for $250 then to get the thread, zippers, etc was another $50. It was actually a lot cheaper to have them made. It crepe which doesn't wrinkle and is easy for the seamstress to work with. Plus if you are having a summer wedding its cool and the girls don't have to wear slips. Good Luck! I hope I was a help. This weekend is their first fitting.

Answer 16

It's not rude at all.They volunteered so they should have seen that maybe coming.

Answer 17

No, it's not rude.  I was in my cousin's wedding and we paid for our own dresses.  Another thought would be that you give each a small amount towards the dress.  Maybe like $20.  Also, if this is a small budget, don't choose an expensive dress for them and expensive shoes.