Sunday, my daughter and I hosted a Bridal Shower for my niece. I mailed 20 invitations to individuals. No where on the invitation or envelope did I list "and family". All invitations were addressed to a single person. No one called to ask if it would be alright to bring children.
At 2:00 Sunday afternoon, the guests started to arrive. The first child to arrive uninvited was my youngest brother's daughter (my niece), age 9. She was with the mother of the bride, her aunt. The second child to arrive was the mother of the groom's youngest child, her daughter age 8. The third and fourth children to arrive were my great nieces from my husband's family, they arrived with my mother in law, they are age 5 and 9.
Before all the guests had arrived, my mother in law cut into the cake, and prepared plates for herself and my great nieces. They sat in the kitchen and ate while the rest of the guests mingled, introduced themselves to each other and visited. My great nieces made several trips back to the refreshment table for fruit, punch, cheese and crackers and the very expensive macadamia nuts that were a "treat". While they were getting their food, they fingered all of the fruit kabobs, trying to get the ones loaded with fruit they liked. My mother in law sat and watched, laughing at them the entire time, not once telling them to leave the food alone. I tried to guide them away from the table, but that only worked if I stayed right there, which was impossible to do and greet guests.
When it came time to have refreshments, everyone declined. Can't say I blame them, but it was a tremendous disappointment since I had worked so hard to prepare special things that represented my niece's honeymoon destination -- Hawaii.
The mother of the groom's daughter took over the punch bowl. She hovered over it the entire two hours of the shower, playing with the ladle, scooping punch and pouring it into the punch bowl, over and over.
The only child who behaved was my youngest brother's daughter. She sat with the other guests, visited and even played some of the shower games. She was a delight.
At the end I had planned to hand out favors, I didn't have enough for all the guests and children. I had only prepared enough for the invited guests.
I have hosted bridal showers in the past for friend's daughters and sons who got married, and I have never encountered this type of problem. Is it just me, or were these guests extremely bold to bring children without even consulting the hostesses?
I am hosting another bridal shower next month for my nephew's fiancee (husband's side of the family). Any suggestions on how to avoid this debacle and communicate effectively that children are not invited? If I don't, I imagine even more children will arrive at this one, and hate to see an entire table of food that I work so hard to prepare be wasted.
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