Is it rude to invite one person out of a family and not the other?

Question

I mean if someone calls and says To their brother I am having a cookout and You are invited.

Does not say your wife and your child are welcome to come also. Does not even bring them up.

Then calls the day of the cookout and asks the brother if he is coming.

Is it rude to Invite only One person in the family and not include the wife and daughter?

Answer 1

Your brother-in-law is not responsible for your husband's choice to use the speakerphone, and he couldn't have known who was listening, so so that is irrelevant.

However: unless a social event is a purely male affair, then anytime the husband is invited the wife must be invited too. Similarly, unless a social event is a purely distaff affair, then anytime the wife is invited the husband must be invited too. Similarly, children can be omitted from the invitation if the affair is an entirely adult affair, but if it is a family event then they should be included along with their parents.

Your husband should determine if it is a "stag" event and if not, should politely decline out of respect to his wife and daughter.  If, however, it is a "stag" event, then you and your daughter should plan an activity for this evening just the two of you. I recommend that you do something so much fun, that when you tell your husband about it afterward he will regret having chosen to spend the evening apart from you