Is it rude to only invite 1/2 of a couple to a wedding?

Question

My BF and I have been discussing getting married and I am h**l bent on a beach wedding. We found a great place in Coronado Beach, CA (everyone will have to travel for it) that does a package but we have a strict limit of 15 people. Neither of us want a lot of people but this is where we find our problem.

All of our siblings are married and have kids. With all siblings, spouses, and neices and nephews- thats 18 people right there! I really want my sister there but she has 4 kids. There is a man that has been like a father to me and he is on my "must come or I will cry list" but his wife isn't.

How can you invite one sibling and not the other one and ask them to leave their spouse and kids at home?

Answer 1

you absolutely cannot invite someone with out their spouse.  you'll have to find another place that allows you to have more than 15 people.

Answer 2

Very simple. "Our reception allowance is limited, so we're inviting only people over 18."  And yes, it is VERY rude to only invite half a couple.

Answer 3

You cannot invite a sibling and not their husband or wife.....it's a big etiquette no-no.....you do not have to invite the children.

Either she will be 'put out' and refuse to attend if the hubby can't, or hubby will be pissed and give her all kinds of grief if she attended without him.....as far as the kids, if they are the type who will be insulted if the kiddies aren't invited, then they will decline the invite.

And you cannot invite one sibling and ignore the others.

I suggest since you are 'H@LL Bent" on this kind of wedding, select two witnesses and elope...then later have a big celebration...but be prepared for flack no matter how you do it. That will be the price you pay for a destination wedding that excludes family-at your choice.

Answer 4

yeah thats rude u even not respect the other half (half that u invited).but if u really invite only ur sibling maybe u can have a 'bachelor party'. not a real one but like a private patry or a secret party.

Answer 5

Yes. And you can't do what you said in the last sentence, that would be horrid.

Answer 6

Perhaps you could plan something for the children to do during the day...hire some babysitters and plan an event for them.  Is there a zoo, amusement park, or something that would be fun for all the kids to do for the day.  You pay for the sitters time to take them.  With the kids occupied with fun activities for the day, you now have the extra room for the spouses.  The kids wont be bored.  The parents will have a break, and the couples will be able to be together.

Answer 7

The spouses no. They have to go. As far as kids go, they're your nieces and nephews, they should be there too...If they were cousins or friends' kids, I would understand, but not nieces and nephews. They don't have a package for 20? If you're h**l bent on a beach wedding, up the package a little if you can. If not, talk to your siblings about it and let them know what the issue is.

Answer 8

you cant do that, its all or nothing! We had that to so what we did was get married in Aruba, just the 2 of us and had a party with everyone when we returned to ireland...problem solved, no arguements and what an amazing party!!!

Answer 9

You have to invite a whole couple if they're married.

Answer 10

Lol, I don't know about the spouse...that may be considered rude. We have put on our invitations 'children welcome at the ceremony' - meaning, please don't bring them to the reception. Might be cheeky but I simply can't afford to have them all there. (There's probably 80 kids all up if everyone brings them!) If thats any help to you, maybe you should do things the same way? I don't know how you would politely say that you don't want kids and spouses there at all. sorry

Answer 11

I think it's rude to not invite spouses.  However, I don't think you need to invite the children since you have a limit on how many can be there.  Many of the spouses may not come anyway since they'll need someone to take care of the kids, but how would you feel if once you and your fiance are married, he was invited to his sibling's wedding but you weren't?  Your siblings' spouses are part of your family.

Answer 12

You really can't invited half a couple or your sister and say leave the kids at home. My daughter had the same problem (she getting married Sept @ the beach & we all have to travel). She invited parents only. It was hard since she really wanted her only brother and favorite aunt, but there was no way the could invited all his siblings and their kids with out going over the limit. Since she couldn't invite all to the wedding, she is having a grand reception the weekend they get back for all the family and friends.

Answer 13

If you want a small wedding, then I'd suggest eloping... otherwise, it probably isn't best to only invite one person and not their spouse, unless you don't really know their spouse. But it is your wedding, and you have the final say. Some of them may not be able to show up without bringing the kids/spouse, however, so plan accordingly.

Answer 14

Both sets of parents. That's 4, the man and his wife, that's six. Both sides of grands, that's 16, you are over.

So, in answer to your question, you can't have both. if there is a 15 limit, you can't have all those people.

So, figure it out, choose another venue and  invite those people that you want to be at your wedding, or keep this one and have no siblings and no like a father person, let alone his wife.

Sometimes I think that people get so caught up in the details of the wedding that they forget about the guests. It really is not all about the bride and groom, it is about family and friends. Some people will be angry that you are not inviting them to the wedding, others will be relieved not to go.

If you are still bent on having the beach wedding after you give things some thought, you might want to do some research with some people who have had "Beach weddings from h**l". There are some blog wedding sites that might be helpful. And I saw one on tv that qualified. It was cloudy, and so windy that it was blowing the bride's dress straight out behind her, and the wind was in the microphones and drowning out the vows.. You might have your tiny bit of beach for your wedding, but there is a noise factor, other people, cars, the surf, water RVs, the seagulls.

Not trying to talk you out of your dream, I'm just giving you something to think about, I'm one of those practical people.

Good luck.

Answer 15

No, of course you can't do that! If they have a b/f or g/f instead of a spouse, then maybe. But even then they will be disappointed, especially if they have been with them for a long time. Same deal with the kids. Do you know how hard it is to find a babysitter?!? They might choose to leave them at home to save on travel costs, but you have to anticipate for them to bring the kids along.

You're either going to have to not invite ANY siblings, or deal with a larger group.  

Answer 16

It is rude to invite someone but not their spouse. Also, it doesn't seem right to invite one sibling but not the other.  

Answer 17

kinda. but its really up to you (u will need a good excuse(trust me)) if u invite have u really need to point it out. eg. 4eva ago i had a grandparents day and i invited my grandad (not his 2nd wife cause she wasnt my granny) but i didnt really point it out so he took her(natural reaction). its kinda rude but if u have a reason so b it if they dont like it... stuff them.

ok then.

Polly

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

PLZ answer mine. its really easy.

Answer 18

if they are married not a good idea, then they are family too by extension, and this modern day fiancee and long time steady couples are too (because these days not all life partners get married)

the kids one easily solved, afternoon wedding, and mark the invitation "adult resception", if you have an evening resception with alcohol, then its not suitable for kids, and parents sertainly can accept and respect that

and they can get babysitters for the kids.

Answer 19

If you have a no-child policy at your wedding you could get away with cutting down on your guest list this way (although if they are close family members such as nieces and nephews you may want to consider if you want them there to share in the day). However, since the guests have to travel I would suggest you hire a babysitter for the kids so the parents are able to attend the wedding.

As for only inviting one half of a couple- that's a big no no. Particularly if the half not invited is a brother or sister-in-law. You can invite single guests without a date but anyone in a serious relationship should be invited with their partner.

Also, if you invite one sibling and not another it could be cause for family arguments and resentment that last much longer than just the day of your wedding.