Is it rude to say "Don't let the taxpayer pay to bring up your baby" to a 16 year old with no money and no?

Question

long term partner who wants to have a baby?

Answer 1

Would you have said that to her face to face?  It's really easy to say things online when you can't see the other person's reaction to the words you say.

If you're not sure if you would have said that face to face, then yes, it was not the appropriate thing to say.

Answer 2

I didn't think you were rude - any responsible adult should be telling a teenager not to have a baby until she is secure financially and in a stable relationship.

Answer 3

not rude at all. My sister raised her daughter by herself and it was hard enough just to watch. I am married and it still isnt easy.

KUDOS to all single parents that dont rely on the system.

KUDOS to those who accept the help to better themselves and GET OFF the system.

NO kudos to those who have more children to stay on the system or have a child to get on the system.

as for what to do... sometimes you can go to a local church/hospital to a parenting class and have her talk to parents and see if it is really as easy as she thinks it is. Parenting seems easy until you have that child EVERY minute of every day.

Answer 4

VERY RUDE...

if she was over the age of 18 , not rude at all....but however she ahs no money , no clue ..she still is a child her self ...i dont like paying tax ..but i would rather see my tax money go to help a teen mom than go towards someone faking a disbaility ....If you want to get rude , get rude with the 16 year old girls parents for not taking her down to the health dept and gettting her a shot to prevent pregnancy ...yes they have shots that last for 3 months ..it was obviously society that has failed this girl , now we must pay for her to be a teen parent..please not she is still achild her self....i had my baby when i was 25 , it was very HARD ....I could only imagine how hard it would be for a teen ...

Answer 5

Yes I think thats a fair comment.  We need to be educating our children there is more to life than this.  Dont get me wrong I am not slating young parents and at the end of the day they get what the law says they are entitled to.  

There is nothing better than to have a good job, nice house, car, holidays etc and no money worries which is what happens when you end up on the state its no easy ride.  Once you can provide for yourself you can provide for your children.  I think as most girls find out  whatever age you are it can be the hardest, loneliest life living on the state and we should be encouraging young people more.

Answer 6

You're right - why should us tax payers bring up other people's children?

If you make a comment like that in the current events section of Yahoo then you'll get a massive reaction from all the welfare spongers sat at home.

I said that people who supposedly can't get a job should do community or charity work. And there's a lot of people justifying why people should just sit on their backsides doing nothing! It's amazing, it really is.

EDIT - Dear Gaby - so you think it's quite right that pensioners have to work past pension age, that fathers have to take 2nd jobs to pay for irresponsible children to have babies? Yes some people need welfare, but it's supposed to be for people honestly in need, not for kids who skive through school and can't be arsed to work.

Finland do not support anyone who has a child under 21.  It forces people to consider what they want to do with their lives, not just take the 'easy' way out.  And let's face it, when you stick a dummy in their gob and let them TV all day, then child rearing isn't that hard. It's people who actually take care of their kids who find it hard.

Answer 7

You know what I do think its rude. WHY?? because one time or another some one has needed a helping hand, and I don't care how RICH you are, everyone at some time or another has needed help. I feel that the help is there for people in need, and as long as people don't take advantage of the system then they are entitled to that help without being discriminated. Oh and to clear up all the biggots out there, sometimes married 40 years olds go on welfare to, so think twice about who you decide to point the welfare finger at.

By the way I have been raising my daughter from the time she was in my womb, By MYSELF...ALONE!! no help, so it can be done, some can't do it, and thats what the help is there for, I'm not like those dependent mom's that NEED another income because they can't do it by themselves, so does that give me the right or should I say, Is it not rude of me to criticize people who can't raise a kid without a man and their income?? Think about that!

BOSOX: no i didn't view the link, but the question was, "is it rude to say 'don't let the taxpayer pay to bring up your baby'" and yes it is rude to say that. I was answering the question

Dear Pirate: I am calm, I'm just very loud sorry if you got the two confused, and yes I did read the question, I just didn't view the link...you didn't read my answer.

Answer 8

If that 16 year old isn't already pregnant and just considering it....all that should be said and more.  If she  were really mature enough to handle being a mother, she would realize it would be a mistake to intentionally bring a child into her life if she isn't financially stable and able to take care of herself, preferably with a daddy that plans to be committed to his baby and her.  This is something you realize when you grow up.  Until then, it doesn't seem as necessary and that is a definite sign that you are not ready for motherhood.

Edit: I went back and re-read the other question and realize you were the one that said this in the first place.  You were right on target with your answer and I honestly wouldn't worry at all about what someone else said or thought.

Answer 9

No, it's smart in my opinion.

16yo's with no money, shouldn't rely on the state to bring their children up, long term relationship or not.

Answer 10

For what its worth I think you were absolutely spot on with that reply.

Answer 11

Nope, do you really want to pay somebodies taxes who put themselves in a stupid situation when it is totally avoidable? Taxpayers pay for the lazy stupid people; it bothers most.

Answer 12

I dont think it would be rude, but she wouldnt care anyways..she is 16. I had a baby at 16 & couldnt have cared less who footed the bill for me & my baby. Now that I am older & have worked my butt off for everything I have I feel different.

I waited until I was 25 to have another baby that way I have my own insurance that I pay for myself(not medicaid) and I breastfeed so I am not on WIC getting hundreds of dollars worth of formula for free every month.

She doesnt care..she is 16. A kid..a baby herself.

Answer 13

No its not rude I would have not been so polite or diplomatic she would get a mouthful from me. I am fed up with working all my life to jointly bring up my own family with my husband. We pay our bills and we don't have what we cant afford so when are all these ridiculous silly girls going to stop breeding on the state. We were on holiday to Andorra this year and they don't make any provision for unmarried and child mothers. Its up to them themselves or their parents to support the daughter and her illegitimate child. They get no money or houses from the state and hey presto there isn't a problem with child mothers or unmarried ones it really doesn't happen. Girls are taught self respect out there.

Answer 14

No, I don't think it is.  People may make their own choices without judgment.....unless you are using OPM (other people's money).  At that point, said people may put in their opinion.  My dad always says "He who hands out the gold makes the rules" and in this case, it's the taxpayers who are handing out the gold.

  

Answer 15

I am 15, nearly 16 myself, I know of one girl in my school who got pregnant last term, she's happily sponging off the state and now brags that she'll never have to work.  What a disgrace!

I totally agree with you, you did not say anything offensive or untrue.

If anyone, Bella is off her head!

Answer 16

I don't think it's rude in this case. Were she already pregnant and the deal was done with no other choice...perhaps.

But to say it to someone who wants to get pregnant KNOWING they can't support a child, and then expects the government to support her and baby? No, it's not rude. For people like that perhaps it needs to be said.

Answer 17

No, I don't.  Nobody should try to have a baby when she's just a child herself, and nobody should try to get pregnant if she can't support the baby on her own.  Why should my husband and I, who made sure we were completely ready before we tried to conceive, pay for a 16 - year - old kid to intentionally have a baby that she knows she can't support?  

*ETA* Dear Gaby, did you read the question completely?  The girl said she was going to get pregnant intentionally and rely on the government to support her.  Please tell me you have more sense than to think that's acceptable.

Answer 18

im 17 and 32weeks pregnant +4days becuse im young every1 thinks im gettin money given to me to bring up my baby which isnt true iv saved my birthday money from the age of 13 and have alot i use to work befor i got put of sick i get child support like all mums get i cant think what its called what im sayin is not all teen mums are the same there are some out ther that earn to support there family x

Answer 19

It won't sink in.

What does she care about taxpayers? Does she even know how it is to go to work and earn a living? Does she know finances of life?

You have to speak at their level of maturity and life experiences.

Answer 20

It's her opinion, and it's one that I happen to disagree with.  It might cut a little too close to home, but hey, if the shoe fits . . .

As I said in that post, "It may take a village to raise a child, but it is selfish to expect the village to foot the bill for your own selfish desires."

Answer 21

I don't think it was rude...it's true, it is there to help people who are in trouble but it should not be something you can fall back on and think "Oh, I can have a baby because I can just claim from Welfare" Without thought of trying to do better before having a child. There are people who need help and cannot do it on their own, but to just use welfare like that when you could have done better is just wrong.

Edit: I'm not talking about woman who find they have an unplanned pregnancy, I'm talking about actually going out to get pregnant with the expectation of using tax money to keep yourself afloat.