Is it rude to say "He lived a long time" when an old person dies?

Question

I'm sorry but don't like that phrase. My grandparents lived well past their 90's. Sadly they are no longer here.

But when someone up in age dies, do you think it's appropriate to say "well they lived a long time" I know some people mean well, and they may not know what else to say to try to console a person but who are we to say how long a person should live? When someone old passes, I try my best to avoid saying that to their friends and family.

How do you feel about this?

Answer 1

I often say 'well he had a long life'...not to be rude, it's true. People are lucky to get past 65 these days.

Answer 2

That doesn't bother me. My Grandma lived to 98 and I like the fact that she lived a long time. I had a niece that died when she was 16 so I think it is good when you can say a person lived a long life. Just my opinion.

Answer 3

"They lived a full life" sounds better.

By saying "They lived a long time", it kind of sounds like you're saying, "it's about time they're gone...".

Sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Not really...because a lot of people die young...so if i every say that someone lived a long life, its only because they lived a long life and everyone should be happy to live such a long life...if I make this comment it means that I myself hope to live just as long or longer....and I wouldn't say that anyone who lives that long has lived a fulfilled life because some people who die that old have not live fulfill life.  Not everyone dies happy or fulfilled.

Answer 5

It seems to be an impersonal given..

If someone said that at MY grandpa's funeral, I would be thinking:

"Well, DUH he lived a long time, he was 95 years old, if you don't have anything else nice to say about him, shut up and sit down and let someone that DOES have something nice to say take the podium."

It's like saying:

"He had really nice hair"    or

"he always had the best complexion for his age", etc...

All in all, he can't help any of it. I would rather the person talked about things that my grandfather did that was good.

Answer 6

Not really, they are really remarking that ''he lived for a long time'' it is not really that rude in my opinion

J.M.O

Answer 7

Some people just aren't sure what to say when someone passes. The more Cliche version of that seems to be he/she lived a full life. In the end, It does seem a little dismissive, but at least people are trying I guess...