Is it rude to tell someone that their child is being mean?

Question

I was at a birthday party for my boyfreinds family. All went well till the end when a saw a kid being totally mean to another kid. When I was telling the mother of the "victim" child, the mother of the "mean" kid walked up. And was wondering what happened. So I said "Oh is that your son? He is being mean. I'm sorry. He's just being mean." She immediately got offended. And as we were leaving. My boyfriend was furious. he said that I was rude and that I embarrassed myself and him. Well.....I was not embarrassed. I see nothing wrong with what I said. And he says that is sick. It has become a huge ordeal. No one I know thinks that what I said was offensive. Kids are mean sometimes. It happens. Most parents understand that. I just want to know what other people think.

Answer 1

You need to find a tactful way to say. If you say that he's mean, she will take offense and defend him. It is better to say "Your boy is quite a handfull. Maybe you should speak to him."

Answer 2

Sometimes kids are bullies and need to be put in there place.I know you did the right thing..But being a mother I would like to know how my kid is acting.She should've said thanks.But next time do it talking to her not in front of others.(That part looks rude,of your boyfriend not being on your side)He sounds like a loser and you should dump him for defending someone inmature and rude.

Answer 3

I don't think it's wrong to tell someone that their child is being mean, but I think it's the way you did it. You should have went up to the woman privately and said something like, "I just wanted to let you know that your son has been being very mean to that other little boy over there."

Answer 4

I think more people should speak up when they observe one person abusing another person.

Parents can either be mature and consider the information offered, and focus on teaching their children to be decent human beings; or, they can be immature, choose to be offended, and behave badly.

I admire your concern for the "victim", your honesty, and your character for stating the obvious.

Your boyfriend has a right to feel embarrased, but no right to force his embarrasment on you.

He has an ego problem.  The situation was NOT about him, it was about one child mistreating another child.  One would expect adults to be a little more mature about problem solving.

Answer 5

Smack him!

You were absolutely right in saying something, no you are not sick, you are stepping up and helping all of those people learn to not raise a bully for a child, and also to show them that lack in their guidance of their children will not be tolerated in the rest of society!

Answer 6

No, you're right to tell the kid not to be mean.  Kids need to hear it from people other than their parents sometimes - they naturally will question just about everything their folks say.  Some parents will take offense to ither people telling their kids things like that, but I agree with you, no harm done.  

The other day, I caught a couple of kids beating on my car with a stick, and messing with my gas cap.  I yelled at them, and threatened to call the police if I saw them do it again (which I would have done.)  Their parents were nowhere to be found, and when I asked them where their parents were, they said that they weren't around.  So unless I stood up and scolded the kids myself, they'd just keep doing it.  Same thing with the mean kid - unless someone tells them it's wrong, then they will not learn.  I would have yelled at them even if their parents were around - if they're not going to get after their kids, then I most definitely will.

Don't get me wrong, I love kids.  But sometimes kids just need to hear someone else say something is wrong, because it doesn't hold the same weight coming from their parents.  You absolutely did the right thing, in my humble opinion.  If the parent gets upset, well that is their own issue.  And if your boyfriend gets furious and embarrassed, then it sounds to me like it's also his problem.  Just because people disagree with how you solved the problem, it doesn't mean you were wrong. :)

Answer 7

No,it is not rude. If someone else's child is being mean to another child it is not right. I would definitely tell the mother of that child if her child was being mean to mine. Children have to be taught to be respectful and learn how to play nice with others. If my child was mean,then I would immediately correct him.

Answer 8

it depends how you worded  your comments    sometimes parents dont see that their child doesn't behave in quite the way you think they should ......................

sometimes you just have to tell it as it is

Answer 9

not rude at all. The mom probably took a wrong way or thought that her "perfect" child wasn't like that. Your just letting her know how her son was behaving to others so it's not an insult. Your bf needs to chill the **** down and i don't know what is so embarrassing about that. Hes probably those people that takes **** from other people and doesn't fight back.

Answer 10

Some parents have blinders when it comes to their kids they think they have perfect angels and can't see their horns and tails! If you said it nice enough and she got offended then I say she is one of those parents. But if you said nasty to hear then I understand why she got offending. It was the delivery of the news not so much the news.

Personally I don't think its rude to let a parent know when their kids are being rude. I think they need to know if they don't already.

Answer 11

It's rude not to...

Answer 12

it was rude of her to not keep an eye on her child.  

Answer 13

Labels can be quite tricky.  However, your BF sounds like a jerk, and that he cares more about others and what they think than he cares about you.  

At this point, I would stand my position and tell the BF that the only thing you'd do differently is tell the victim's mother the facts - what exactly you saw happen.  When the perps mother came up, I wouldn't have offered a label (he's mean, bad, whatever), but rather an accounting of what you saw.  She may have chosen to handle the little mean boy instead of handling you.  I see your avatar's name is "the mouth."  I'm bad to speak impulsively as well.  And we are free to, we just have to accept the consequences...

But your BF needs to get a grip, really!

Answer 14

You did nothing wrong!  Good for you, I say!  Realize that there will always be a person/s to find fault.  You did the correct thing.  

Dump your boyfriend and fast.  He will never support your values..

I know- I married one.

  

Answer 15

No,  not if you are nice about it. I mean, you can scream at someone and use nasty language or you can just do what you did. Naturally, the mean kid's mother is offended; she's the one allowing him to be that way. It's not like he just suddenly started being mean. Frankly, I wish I had your courage; more of us should have that kind of courage and maybe parents would do something about it. I'm a parent and I would want you to tell me that my son was doing something mean. Sometimes they don't realize what they are doing is wrong. Often, they do and they need to be called on it. When I was growing up, we didn't live on a through street. All the moms were home, so I had several of them who would look out for me and wouldn't hesitate to tell me I was doing something wrong. They didn't need to go to my mom; they were enough. It was better that way.  

Answer 16

You did the right thing!  Way to go!

I don't have a kid, but I think I'd like to know if my child was misbehaving.  It's not as if you called him nasty names or something.  You stated a fact:  the child was being mean.  

Tell your boyfriend to grow up! : -)

Answer 17

HE was the one who was embarrassed.  You should probably rethink a serious relationship with this guy.  It appears that his "image" is entirely too important to him.  Apparently in his family, the children have run of the place!

Answer 18

no, it's not rude and don't worry you did her a big favor.

Answer 19

no, just be prepared  to explain yourself and talk with the person in a quite area in case they get loud

Answer 20

Of course it's not being rude. Your just letting the mom of the rude kid know that his son is being rude and disrespectful. And your boyfriend is over reacting. You did the right thing.