Is it safe to go to lunch with a married coworker?

Question

He is a nice guy & I'm a nice girl, so that is why I backed off when he asked me lunch and why he did, too, I suppose. He hasn't asked me to lunch since nor have I. I trust my gut & so that is why I've backed off. Is We often email each other but only flirt very innocently, by the way. Can we just be friends if we play it safe if we just go to lunch together with a coworker? I have so much fun w/him, so I would accept that type of lunch invitation now.

Answer 1

I can't see why you can't go to lunch with him but just be careful of his motives. It my be a totally innocent invitation...2 people who get on well & work together having an innocent lunch together. But until you know for sure be very careful of his intentions because he is a married man & the last thing you need is to get involved with him sexually!

Good Luck!  

Answer 2

Because you're asking this question, I think you have very little experience and no respect for his wife.  It is not ok, and not simply because you "flirt" alittle or that he tells his wife that you email each other.  Get real; you know EXACTLY what you're doing.  That sucks.   Values and morals went out the window with you a long time ago if you're even flirting with him.

Shame on you!

Answer 3

Generally speaking I would always say yes it's absolutely fine to go to lunch with a married coworker.

But in your case I'm going to make a special exception ...

48 questions about this scenario in the last two months?? I think you may be just a tad obsessed. You have asked question after question after question soliciting for people to tell you he's interested in pursuing an affair with you and his innocent emails must mean "something more". Poor him.

I don't think you should go to lunch with him. And I really think you need to find a new interest too.

Answer 4

I would be careful about this. Affairs begin with a simple smile and what's more innocent than that.  

Answer 5

Trust your gut.

There is not such thing as "flirting very innocently."

Acid test, show the emails to his wife.

Show them to you BF/husband.

You already know that there is a high potential for trouble here.

Keep the lunches to group gatherings.

Answer 6

Don't do it.  He's a married man, and that is reason enough right there.  If he wants to make a fool out of someone, let it be someone besides you.  One thing leads to another too many times.  I also would end the flirting, no matter how innocent it is.  And even the

e mails if it's a problem.  Be smart.

Answer 7

Yeah...I go to lunch with taken and single women at work all the time.  I have a rule that I don't date women from work (learned that the hard way) so I don't do or say things that make them think I would be into that.  But having friends of the opposite s*x at work is no big deal.  I should mention that the office I work in, 90% are female too.  So it's kind of hard not to have female friends at work for me.

Answer 8

No because it will only be trouble.  

Answer 9

it isn't such a good idea because he is married,and belongs to someone else.it all begins with an innocent lunch, a few e mails.of course his wife doesn't know.keep your distance because the heart that gets broken might be your own.don't create something u will have to stop later on.

Answer 10

if you have to ask then you already know you are wrong if you were married how would you feel if your husband went to lunch with his coworker and they sent flirty emails to each other... I know for a fact that you want to sleep with this man and you fantasize about him you keep your panties on and go to lunch alone.. and if your panties come off the work place will be so awkward when he decides that what the two of you did was wrong, and says "I love my wife and she don't deserve this"  

Answer 11

Doesn't look good to your coworkers if you lunch alone with a married man. Stay away from married men!

Answer 12

You need to stay away from him. He's married and it seems are going down the wrong road. You are both obviously attracted to eachother. Leave well enough alone. No more emails and def no lunches. Trust your gut, you know that it's wrong or you wouldn't be asking.

Answer 13

It is better if there is more than the two of you.  You can still enjoy the company that way without being so tempted for more.

Answer 14

No big deal. You know when it gets too far, and that's when you back off.  

Answer 15

yes

Answer 16

That's how it all started with my husband and a female co-worker they started out as friends and went to lunch then another lunch then happy hour after work and before i knew what was going on he left me for this female co-worker. Don't you know a man cannot tell the difference between friendship and a sexual attraction and after awhile either can you. Don't fool yourself here you will start an affair with him this is how going out to lunch with a married man turns out 90% of the time. Why do you think most companies have rules about dating a co-worker.

Answer 17

well it may lead to other things plus gossip goes around fast so u know if she find out shell be pissed

Answer 18

Do your spouse &/or his spouse know about either of you and your communication?  If not...NO!  If so, but only to an extinct...NO! If so, and you all could make it a group thing...GO 4 it (also, if spouse(s) are ok with the lunch date).  

Answer 19

I say no.  If you were his wife, would you be OK with it?  Why risk devoloping more feelings for him?  Keep your relationship a cordial business one and nobody gets hurt.

Answer 20

I go to lunch with female co-workers and I am married. I believe it is okay. Not everyone thinks with their friend in their pants, some people just like to have friends. I get along a lot better with women rather than men. My wife understands that and we have been together for over 10 years. No cheating with co-workers here... It is all dependant on the person. If it gets to the point of where he is confessing his love for you, then time to bail.  

Answer 21

Flirting with a married man is not innocent. I would not think you should go to lunch if either of you feel more than just friendship. You are just asking for trouble if you do. If both of you only want friendship with each other I think that it would be alright if you do not hide it from his wife.  

Answer 22

No it can lend you in trouble

Answer 23

I do not think it is right,  If you are married,engaged, BF whatever and you first start going out as a double date, then lunch is nothing.  Else I do not think it is a good idea for him or his family

Answer 24

The fact that you feel the need to ask if it's OK indicates that there is an attraction there and you are aware of it.  

I would not suggest that you put yourself in a position that could have repercussions in both your personal life and your work life.

Answer 25

it's safe. sure.

be careful though. your playing with fire and you might be burned

Answer 26

It may or may not turn into something. But as you guys are flirting and such, and you mentioned you have so much fun with him sort of puts you guys in a different category. Your playing with fire. But human nature draws us to that as well. Pressing the limits with peoples boundaries is fun, but doesn't always work out the way we think. Good Luck  Chances are you guys will be passing them boundaries at some point. Hard to stop the hunt when you have the scent.

Answer 27

Well as long as you know that you can have self control and not bring it any further than a little flirting and if he does, just stop talking to him. You have to be the smart one in this case.

Answer 28

you're in dangerous waters. esp if you've ever filed for harassment. if your co-workers see you're lunching together, rumors will follow and you could be seen as a tease who when things get too hot you pounce

I you haven't ever filed, nor your buddies on your behalf, you still run risk of being disciplined.

Answer 29

NO.

First of all, if you two are already flirting, and you accept an invitation to be alone together...soon enough accepting any other invitation won't be a big deal.

I had a girlfriend who started this way, and in 4 months time she had an affair and couldn't stop.

Would you like to know how affairs start?

Accepting alone time with the guy in the office that you have flirtations with.

You're opening yourself up to the chance, whether you think you'll do it or not.

Answer 30

If he is flirting,innocently or not then he has other things in mind than just a hamburger,Its just how the male mind works,he enjoys your attention and wants to see,even if its not all the way,how far he can take the innocent flirting

Answer 31

Do your heart and dignity a favor and stay away from the married man.