Question:

Is it selfish to only have one kid?

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

We went to a cookout last night. I am pregnant. We decide to only have one kid for now. People called us selfish. I especially was hurt. Of course, we want the kid to have playmates, but we just can't afford and secondly I'm already in my 30's. My husband is 40.

 Tags:

   Report
Answer The Question I've Same Question Too

26 ANSWERS

Sort By: Date  |  Rating

  1. It is selfish to dictate to another person how to construct their family.

    Enjoy your one child and don't allow yourself to be hurt by those clods.


  2. What's selfish about it. If you can't afford to have an another child, then it's okay if you only have one child. maybe they said that because you are only thinking of yourselves and not the child's. they may have thought that the child would be lonely. just maybe

    congratulations though!!!

  3. No it is not selfish to only have one child.

    As you said, it is important for your child to mix with others. That is for you to arrange and ensure happens. This can be by mixing with other parents who have children (of any age). By taking your child to a play group and going to mother and toddler clubs. By taking your child out to the park; swimming pool; etc.

    OK - I said that it wasn't selfish, but it is, the choices as to have no, one two or many children are all equally selfish.

    Just enjoy having your baby and don't worry what anyone else thinks. Love them and do your best, that's all anyone can ask.

  4. It is absolutely not selfish. We have one son and have been able to provide him with a college education and much love and attention. My opinion is a couple(who will remain nameless) who have 18 kids are selfish they are not raising these children! The Older kids are the ones left to raise the younger ones and themselves. just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  5. I don't even want one.

  6. I totally agree with Mommy..she said it best.

  7. no ,smart thinking a head.

  8. Of course you are not selfish. You already said it yourself that you will have a kid for the moment, who knows one day you can afford for a 2nd or 3rd kid ;) good luck to ur pregnancy. Wish it's a healthy baby.

  9. no its not its just what you want don't listen to them. its not up to them how many children you have! its your choice.  

  10. It is very selfish. What if something happened to both of you? My mom died when I was 16 and my dad when I was 28. It was a major adjustment for me to be all alone without any of my family of origin or anyone outside my husband and kids who cared about me.

    If I'd had siblings, we could have gone through it together.

    Forget playmates, when you and your husband are gone, your child will be alone in the world.

  11. Wow, you're the typical "one-child" person:

    Intelligent

    Reasonable

    Compassionate

    Articulate

    Responsible

    So, if you have any problem with those adjectives, then yes, fix it...

    Lol...You represent the highest, most noble modes of thought in regards to child-bearing. Don't listen to those who'll bring you down by their inadequacy.

  12. It isn't selfish! You are getting older and money and gas prices make things tight. Plus with your hospital bill, gas, and house bills, and food cost loads.

    It isn't selfish if you wanna have one kid thats great. If you want a second one I would adopt.

    IDK y they would call you selfish; why dont they have kids and we will see who is "selfish" then

  13. Not at all! It's an individual decision to be made between the parents. No one else has any say in it. As long as you love your child and give them enough attention, you're not being selfish at all.

    The selfish thing would be having more children than you can afford, thus giving them a sub-par life.  

  14. Well i have 3 kids and could not have imagined only having 1 ,but that's me.You and your husband have decided 1 is enough for you. It's not selfish at all.Some think only kids are lonely but most are not as they have friends, cousins etc..My brother and his wife have 1 child only and i can't see them having another (they are similar ages to you and you husband) My 4yr old neice is by no means lonely.

    there are plenty of families who can only ever have 1 child because of medical reasons  they are not selfish either..

    It's far more selfish to have too many kids that you can't afford to look after properly.  

  15. I had my first at 32 and my second at 34 and I will say that as friends it was the best thing to do - give a child another biological playmate - friends are just not the same and then I had a third at 39 and I would like a fourth - the more the merrier and I thinks its nioce having brothers and sisters but its your business and you need to do what you think is the best thing to do and what you are your husband are comfy with. I was happy with two under four but it was hard but they love each other and have an allie in ecah other. Its nice! But I can afford it as well so its up to you to decide whats best for you, its your business!!

  16. Of course not! That's ridiculous. In my opinion, it would be selfish to have a kid just because someone said something about it and if you can't afford another child. Don't listen to them.

    Congrats on the pregnancy though. :)

  17. It's not selfish it's awesome.  We have a 2 year old and are thinking about not having any more.  I'm 27 and see other people my age with lots of kids but also notice they don't pay very much attention to them not to mention they are always broke and don't go anywhere.  We travel and do all sorts of things together, my husband and I have time for each other, it's great for us.  People bug us about having another one but we just ignore them, people just feel the need to have an opinion about everything...who cares.  If you want your baby to play with other kids then go to the park or hang out with other mom's and their kids.  Just focus on that little one and take care of your marriage, that is all that matters, you'll soon see how much fun it is to have an only child, they have all your love to themselves.  

  18. No its not selfish.

    Who called you selfish? They are acting down right stupid.


  19. Why not wait until you've had the baby before you decide if you want another one?  You may well feel differently once your child is born and decide you don't want he/she to be a only child.  

  20. In some cases it is better because when you have multiple children it is hard to keep up with their life and their school work...and if you only have one child then your attention will be more focused on them and they will do better in school(so i heard). Also sometimes only children feel lonely because they have nobody to play with but they can make freinds or grown up with somebody close to them.

  21. Are you serious! That was really nasty thing to say! Of course there are some traits that pop up a lot with kids that are an only child, but it is like that with every amount of children!

    Have as many children as you want!

  22. I don't think it is selfish at all, you're being realistic about your situation.  It should be natural not to want to decrease the quality of life for your family by having additional children you're not financially prepared for at this very moment.  Much better that than having 12 kids and being on welfare.

  23. My brother has two ( one  with two kids and one going into the Navy) , I have one ( with a grandson) and my sister doesn't have any......she's the smart one of the family.  I am finally an empty nester and am enjoying it terrifically.  My husband had two girls.  One with a kid she can't see and one without children.

    It's no one's business how many children you want to raise.  18 years is a long d**n time to bring up a child.  It's the last years you worry about.

    Have only the children you can afford to raise, financially and mentally.  Those people who told you that you were selfish are ignorant, to say the least.  You can always change your mind later, if need be, but don't let them grab you mentally!  I only had one and I don't regret it in the least.

  24. No! you aren't selfish. Those people have no idea what they are talking about.

    I don't want ANY kids. So- i'm the selfish one.

    Don't listen to 'em.

  25. No, of course not. However, it's not something you should be discussing with others, as you see now.

    We didn't intend to have only one - we wanted 6! However, fate steps in sometimes because of health reasons, and we are very lucky to have the one we do. I was 30 and my husband was 40 when our son was born.

    Yes, we had to deal with all the questions and prodding about when we were having more and why weren't we - and you just become pretty expert about deflecting them...

    (Just so you know, the second one is cheaper than the first, because you have all the big 'stuff' .....)  

  26. No, not selfish. I wouldn't even worry about it in terms of your child not having someone to play with, it's not like you won't have friends with kids, school, playgroup etc. I think about it more to do with the future, when I'm not around anymore. I still don't think it is selfish by any means
You're reading: Is it selfish to only have one kid?

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 26 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.
Register Now