Is it selfish to want to go on vacation without my child?

Question

I am a recent single mom who married a wonderfull man. (so i guess i'm not a single mom anymore)

He is not my child's father but he treats her like he is. I'm wondering if it is selfish of me to want to go on vaction without her. She is six and we always go on a family vacation, but i would like to get away with my husband on an adult vacation. Where i dont have worry what she is doing, what is she eating, finding a sitter on vacation so i can have a drink or go into a casino.

All my other friends are now getting married now and going on adult vacations and i envy them. I want to be carefree too (even if it only for a week).

Am i being selfish or is it ok for use to go on vacation?

Answer 1

Not at all!  Parents deserve a break too.  

Answer 2

i have the same issue. my daughter is 2. and her daddy wants to go on a "alone" vacation, with our bre-anna ( our daughter ) i feel selfish.

but i guess a week is ok

Answer 3

Why would that be selfish at all?  Some people prefer to take children on their vacations and some do not.  You are a newly wed and you deserve to have newly wed time together!  Not selfish in any way.  Have fun!

Answer 4

NO - it is not selfish to want to go on vacation every now and then without your child!!!  Any professional will tell you that it's very healthy to get away once in a while to clear your head.

Your daughter is old enough now to leave her with someone else for a few days, or even a week.  Just make sure you leave her with someone that she feels safe with and that you feel safe leaving her with.

Trust me it will be good for her and you to get away.

Enjoy yourself!

Answer 5

I couldn't do it.  That's just me though.  I guess I just equate vacations with family, however big or small that family is.  Plus we dont have a lot of money, so in my head, if I only have this money once it wouldn't be fair to spend it on just us.  

I would do a weekend getaway with him... I always say that, but it hasn't happened yet.  I would love to do that.  

But I'm not judging you.  For me to decide if you're selfish based on one desire isn't a fair question.  What one parent considers ideal doesn't mean it's the only answer.  My ideals are different from someone else's.  Who am I to lay the minimum standards?  So have a great time if you go, sounds like she'll have a great time and is in good hands.

Answer 6

Go ahead and have some fun and send your daughter on her own vacation with grandma.  My favorite vacations as a young child were with my grandparents.  We went for donuts every morning, they took us to lots of fun places, and we didn't want to go home.  It was like our own vacation from mom and dad. I don't think we even cared about what they  did.

Answer 7

Of course it's not selfish.  As long as you have a good caregiver with whom your child is comfortable, go and enjoy yourself!

Answer 8

There's nothing wrong with going out on an adult vacation every now and then.

I have friends with two children and they take their kids to TONS of events but, they also go and do couple things too.  

Answer 9

You go for it girl, your daughter will be fine with her grandmother. You are not selfish at all. I to had kids early in my first marriage and now my guy and girls are in their teens and my friends kids are in elementary school or younger. I am so glad I had the kids early, love them to pieces, but you do need your alone time. I am so glad to hear you new hubby treats your daughter as his own but don't forget you need time to build your relationship, and to let the two of you be yourselves in an adult atmosphere. I am remarried and we are still trying after 5 years to blend this family and have time for ourselves with 4 teens in the house. So do it now, don't wait, cause the bills and the responsibilities only grow and you will find you can't take time just to take off!!!!

Answer 10

Since you already have family vacations with her, it is not selfish. Adults need time alone too. Congrats on your marriage, enjoy a vacation to celebrate. Your daughter will be fine and it will be good for everyone for you to release a bit of stress.  

Answer 11

It is totally healthy for you to spent time away from your daughter and

reconnect with your hubby, You deserve a break!

My daughter is only 2mts and I can't wait until she is old enough for

me to go away on a cruise (I am a SAHM and I will sometimes go

days without stepping outside! It is just too hot to take her on walks

Acknowledging that even though your child is #1 , you still need to

pamper yourself every once in awhile is admirable.It will keep you

sane and relationship with hubby alive

Your daughter will be fine with a trusted sitter or family member!

Get out and enjoy yourself :)!!