Is it sexist of me...?

Question

My friend and I both had an interest in a girl. It's much easier for me to get girlfriends than for him so we made a deal that I would back off and he could go and have a try. Well, it turned out that she didn't like him back and she wanted me. He told me the deal was off and to go for it. I went for it and got her as my girlfriend. Now my friend went and started bitching about how I took her away from him and how I'm a bad friend. I explained to her the deal and now am being told I treat women like objects and that I am a sexist pig. I have never had anything but the utmost respect for her and I still really like her. Should I have just lied? Or am I really that bad of a person?

Answer 1

If your friend said it was ok, then it should be ok. HE is the bad friend. Thats almost an indian giver( excuse my political incorrectness) thing to do.  

Answer 2

You didn't do anything wrong at all. In fact, you were a h**l of a lot nicer about it than most guys would've been! Your friend is not being a good friend, but rather a sore loser and a whiner. Your girlfriend, while I can understand why she's offended, should really see that you were just trying to be good friend. That's a good thing. No, you shouldn't have lied, and no, you're not a bad person!

Explain to her that you don't see her as an object, and then do something nice for her to demonstrate that she really is special to you. Buy her some flowers and candy, or just do something for her that you wouldn't typically do for anyone else. All you were doing was being confident, and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Most people aren't so confident, and this is why they are complaining and trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Let it be a lesson to you! If she can't get over it, just get another girlfriend.

Answer 3

That wouldnt bother me.

You need a new friend, and either new gf or a good talk with your gf

Answer 4

I think you would have been fine if you had worded what you said to her differently. The word "deal" just sounds bad to all girls. When girls hear the word "deal" it's like saying the word "bet", not good.

You were being a friend by backing down and giving him the opportunity he wanted. The deal you made with him wasn't really a deal at all, you were just telling him to go for it. Your friend came back to you and said he's given up and it's all you so he shouldn't be acting the way he is. So i would suggest talking to him about it.

As far as the girly goes, talk to her too. Tell her you were just trying to be a good friend by doing what you did, not trying to disrespect her. Hopefully she'll forgive you.

Best of luck :)

Answer 5

Wow, she is having some bad PMS. I would rather have been told the truth than lied to!

Answer 6

"You can have her" attitude sounds rude, not necessarily sexist, just obnoxious.

Answer 7

he did just tell you to go for it right?

Answer 8

i think if you found out she liked you, but you wanted to get your mate laid so you tell her your not interested and try to convince her to go out with him...well i don't know if you call that bein sexist, but it is treating her as an object.  i think the girl probably feels a bit stupid because she feels you guys were arranging who would go out with her between you. i don't reckon you did anything wrong, but i think a few girls would get upset by it. no s**+* we're pretty sensetive about things like that lol

Answer 9

its not your fault. your friend is jealous. that's all.  

Answer 10

That's why we women have a code that you guys don't!

If my friend likes someone, I'm not allowed after that point to ever go after him, even if he never even wanted/liked her and vice versa.  It's whoever saw him first and had the nerve to go for it, but if we gave them up as charity because we know the other person is shy, we'd maybe introduce them and that would be the end of our part in it.  If you give up ur chance, u give up ur chance!  Oh, and we NEVER date a friends X, no matter how great we think he is!

Answer 11

you are in no way being a sexist big. people need to learn what being sexist really means. stupid stupid people.

just don't listen to them.

Answer 12

if your friend is saying c**p about you, he's not your friend.

try talking to him in person.  why would you be sexist?

Answer 13

no you are not by any means a bad person. but i dont think your friend really wanted you to go for her that soon after being rejected, so you probably hurt him.just apologize and explain everything to him.

Answer 14

the truth is your friend is hurt the girl liked you and not him, maybe jealous too, so show a little compassion if he is your friend, people show hurt in different ways i dont think he means the things he is saying he may be just trying to be macho, since he is your friend and u know he liked her, it would probably have been best if you wouldnt have gone for her, what was he supposed to say, No dont go for her i like her even though she doesnt like me, think about it

Answer 15

you should have told her that you both liked her and thats why you made that bet, and how is that bad of you if your friend said the deal was off

Answer 16

no it isnt sexist, that has nothign to do with sexism. it is however sad, women arnt prises to be won, stolen, or fought over, they make their own choice, you cant steal someones girl unless u physically pick her up and drag her away kicking and screaming, grow up and learn to be an actual man not some sniviling weasle that uses and manipulates everyone

Answer 17

What you say between you and your friend is really nobodies business - you should have kept that conversation to yourself - LESSON learned - guys and girls do NOT think the same.

Answer 18

women aren't objects, tell your friend that he is being the sexist pig because he is the one who is trying the"you stole her from me" gag, he needs to grow up or i'll personally kick him in the head

as for you i wish you the best of luck!

Answer 19

first mistake is that you told her about the game you and your friend did, second you make her feel cheap by doing that to her, and third she did the right thing by dumping you fourth tell your friend that he needs to be a man about it and keep his big mouth shut because he went in on the deal your not a pig but don't treat women like objects what goes around comes around

Answer 20

well first of all you both need to grow up before you date. women are not prizes of a competition. They deserve respect, caring ,love and honesty. but in some cases things are better left unsaid. I would say move on you blow it when you made the original deal and thought she was a prize to win at all.