Is it silly for my cousin to say she's had a 'hard life'?

Question

She went to private school her entire life (albeit ostracized).

She's gorgeous (albeit never being in a serious relationship, many suitors offered though, she's Carribbean.)

She went to a prestigious university.

Lives in very affluent area (although right next to ghetto area).

Yet, she feels stupid, ugly, and friendless. (all her friends she made in uni outside of her state)

She blames most of her issues with being ostracized, psychologically bullied, self image due to racism.

She thinks it would have been easier being black (Carribbean American) if she didn't live in an area where it was extremely wealthy (where she was the only black family) right next to an extrememly poor area dominated by blacks.

Answer 1

A hard life sure is a relative idea. I've had a very hard life as an adult. As a kid I had few worries, but I was overweight, had a tough name to grow up with and was the youngest of 5 kids. Was it hard? Sure. We got in fights, sometimes small riots and it was nothing to get my butt kicked daily. As an adult I have been an alcoholic and drug addict, but 99% of it I brought on myself. That didn't make it any less hard though. You can make your life hard or it can be thrust upon you by fate, but it doesn't make it one iota easier.

If all she wants to do is to whine then all bets are off. You do with your life what you're given. I'm clean now, don't drink or do drugs, but still live a very hard life. Heck, I live in a one room shack and use a bucket to go to the can and pee in empty soda bottles. (Really!) But it's no harder than someone rich living in a self imposed h**l.

Answer 2

I don't think it's silly, you would be surprised what counts and does not count when assessing how hard someones life has been. Look at all the celebrities that have suffered physical health problems over how stressful their lives are.

Answer 3

Saying one has a "hard life" is relative.  She has reliable food and shelter, her family is at least somewhat wealthy, she has more education than most people in the world will ever have, and she has suitors who willingly approach her without family obligations or dowry intent, while also having the freedom to reject them.

However, living as a minority, ostracized for one's race or culture, and being bullied at school is difficult to deal with.  Being picked on for who she has been since birth is a difficult position.

So, maybe it's silly, but it's not without reason.  It's important to be grateful for what one has, but it's okay to sympathize with someone's troubles even if they have many blessings.  

Answer 4

Many young women have issues like this.  It's not racially isolated.  It's a self esteem problem, or an attention problem.  Your friend has never learned to like herself.

Answer 5

That would be a question of relativism.

There are, of course, people who have suffered far worse than she ever has.  But does that mean that her life is easy, simply because others have had more difficult lives?

Life is hard.  That is the basic truth.  That the life of one is harder than the life of another does not change the fact that life is hard for both of them.  With living comes problems.  With money comes problems.  With lack of money comes problems.  With love, with friends, with country, etc. there is always problems that come with it.

There is no exception to that.  

Is she being silly in her complaints?  I don't really think so.  But complaining about it doesn't change it, nor does making excuses for it.

Its not silly, but it is a waste of time that would be better spent either dealing with her problems or finding ways to move on to a situation better suited to her mentality.

Answer 6

I don't think it's silly.  I think it's sad.  She has a low self-esteem.

There is medication that can help her, if she's not too arrogant to admit she has a problem.