Is it s****. to change my name?

Question

I want to change my last name, not my first or middle name.

I really cannot stand my father or his side of the family; having his last name actually disgusts me.

My mother doesn't care if I change my last name so long as I change it to something in the matrilineal line...so I am going to take my great-grandmother's maiden name.

My father's last name is also long and cumbersome to pronounce; people always say it with distaste. I am sick of it. My ethnicity is not my fault either.

I am 20 now; I do not plan on ever marrying. I am still in college, and would like to keep the same last name for my entire professional life.

What do you think?

Answer 1

go for it, but you'll still be attached to your original name when forms or applications ask for any other name you've ever had..

Answer 2

Absolutely do it.  This whole idea of using the man's name as a father and child is silly anyway.

I didn't take my husband's name when we married, because I'd have a name 12 letters long.

Answer 3

i think you should keep your name the way it is. you should try and bring pride to your name instead of denying it.

Answer 4

It's not s****. to change your last name, but you will probably eventually change it. alot of people say that they don't plan on getting married, but you meet a nice guy that you really like and ...BOOM! You're walking down the aisle, but if you really hate your last name, go ahead and change it.

Answer 5

Do what you wish. I'm considering doing the same. The only difference is I'll be changing the entire name to something more fitting for me. My parents are now out of my life for multiple reasons, which is unfortunate but necessary.

Answer 6

Go ahead. It's your life and if the name is really bothering you, I don't see why not! Don't waste your time, go and change it. It is your life take control of it. You have the ability to make your life as happy and good as you possibly can so if changing your name will help to do that, start filing the paperwork NOW!

Answer 7

for genealogical purposes it will make things a little complicated but as long as you are on the family tree list somewhere then i see no problem with it. i have given myself a first name nickname and have been able to open accounts and do business with it (!) but i have no ulterior reasons. yes change your last name if you want, "you create your own reality"-blurey

Answer 8

The easiest and cheapest way to legally change your last name is being a female and get married.  Usually when a person changes their last name, most people will wonder why change your last name unless you have done something wrong with the law and want to hide.  

Think of us male people, we don't have a chance to change our last name.  We have to stick with what is given to us at birth.  So make due with what is given to you.

Answer 9

I was married for 22 years.  The man I was married to cheated on me and got his g/f pregnant and divorced me to marry her.  I was so convinced that he would come to his senses and return to me that I kept his last name at the time of the divorce.  Two years later, after finding a friend of my own, I realized I didn't want Him back regardless.  So $256 later I changed my name back to my maiden name.  But, knowing how people are curious about why you don't have a middle name or initial, I also decided to take my boyfriend's pet name as my middle legal name:  delight!  My initials are ddt and people get a kick out of that.  But either though I no longer have the boyfriend either, I'm glad I have a middle initial, even if it went with his pet name for me.

Just think it through long and hard about what name you want.  My ex's name was difficult to spell and pronounce.  Now I have back my maiden name of Thompson and people are forever asking how to spell it.  Go figure!

Answer 10

It's not s****.. I know someone who changed their name to their mother's maiden name for this reason. BUT you're asking this in a genealogy forum, where people spend their lives researching their families. We know how hard it is to deal with name changes in history, so I personally would only change my name in marriage, to make it easier on those in the future. But, at the end of the day, you need to do what you feel is right. If you want to change your name; change it. It's not s****. in the slightest.

Answer 11

When you talk to genealogists.. we have an attachment to names staying the same, to make our research easier. But.. your situation isn't genealogy, it is your real life and what you know (and feel) about it.  We have no knowledge of the reasons for your feelings, and certainly no room to dispute them. They may well be more valid than we could imagine.  Would we ALL love to have warm, caring connections to all our families? Sure. It does not always work the way we want or hope. Not a good idea if you are being spiteful. Anger and spiteful are NOT always the same.

You are not a child, and I think you are the only person who can make this choice, and sounds as if you have already weighed it all carefully.  I'll assume your gr grandmother was a strong and beautiful person, who would be honored for you to make that choice.

Answer 12

well, i dont think it would be s****. but it would be very disrespectful to your father,,,,,but it depends on what he did to make him sound so bad. i personally wouldnt but maybe in your case yes.

Answer 13

Not s****., but sad. Even if you don't like your father, he's STILL your father. What are you going to do when he passes?

It'll break his heart to know that his own daughter loathes him.

Answer 14

Go ahead and change your name. I know people who have done it. It will cost you a little bit in legal fees but it sounds like emotionally, it will be worth it to you. Go for it.

Answer 15

i would change it to your mothers last name.

Answer 16

well unless ur last name is g*y or Cox or something else embrassing i wudn't. if ur name is associated with criminals i'd change

Answer 17

u should but just secretly have his last name as one of ur middle names. sorta like a confirmation name, secretly.

Answer 18

It's not s****., if you want to go ahead. However, from the way you wrote your q you seem to be having some minor identity issues right now. You should identify the root as to why you want to change it now after 20 years and come to terms the best way you can with it. I have both my mother and fathers names (its hyphenated) and have often contemplated chopping off my father's name, but then I always realize that its not really the name itself, but just the way I see it through my eyes. Also, you should never see your ethnicity as a "fault", be proud, as it has shaped who you are to an extent(even if you hate it).

Answer 19

if youre uncomfortable about it, go ahead.   i changed my last name to my moms cause my dad pretty much abadoned us when i was younger. my boyfriend changed his as well because he had the same problem with his father.  why should we carry something around from a parent who did nothing for us?

Answer 20

UK answer.

The choice is yours, it's not s****. to change your name. When I married my husband it was always common knowledge that I would keep my maiden name. In the end we compromised and I have a double barrel name now and it does sound very posh. Good luck with the name change and good for you, for going with your choice, I get a feeling that nothing will change your mind any way.

Answer 21

I think whatever last name makes you happy, you should take it. But do it for yourself, not to spite your father. like the song says, "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad..."

Answer 22

I don't think it's s****. if it's what you really want to do & you're uncomfortable with your current last name.  Go for it!  And I think it's a great idea to take a name from you're mother's side.

In response to Funky Girl:  Even if you get married, you still don't have to take your husband's name!