Is it socially acceptable to break an engagement?

Question

I feel so stressed about being engaged as I am still not sure about marrying the person I'm enaged to. Is it socially acceptable to break an engagement? Will my friends hate me if I do it? and How should I do it?

Answer 1

It doesn't really matter what people think about it. You have to do what makes you happy or you'll end up divorced.

No one will hate you for it. If they are truly your friends, then they want to see you happy.

Answer 2

Who cares what others think its your life not there's.  if you love the person (you feel like you cant be without them, soul mate) then marry them and if you have doubts (just not sure if you were really meant to be with them) then break it off now before one of you get really hurt the longer you wait the more painful it is.

Remember its your life.

Answer 3

you have to do whats best for YOU. just do it in a tasteful manner. to avoid as much drama as you can. and try not to burn the bridge in case you want to cross it later so to speak.

my mother always said never go against your own grain when your gut instinct is telling you something. everyone will get over it as long as you handle it firmly but gently.

Answer 4

Are we in like the freaking 15th century or something, where the girl would be socially ruined if she broke an engagement off.....?

The only reason I would think your friends would get mad at you is if they were his friends first, and you broke his heart by breaking it off with him.

Otherwise, your friends should be good friends, and support you on your time of need.....

If you are not sure, don't get married. Listen to the little voice in the back of your mind.....

Divorce is a very expensive thing....

Good Luck....

Answer 5

Much better to break an engagement than a marriage!  You just need to do it just as you would any other breakup!  If your invitations have not been sent out, don't worry about contacting people, word will get around...

Answer 6

WHO CARES!!!! If you aren't 100% sure break it off!!! This is about your life , not whats acceptable or what your friends will think.

Answer 7

Absolutely it's acceptable!!  And if your friends hate you for it, then they weren't really your friends to begin with.

I would just have your fiance over and explain that while you love him (if you do) you aren't ready to be engaged yet.

Answer 8

Which is more socially acceptable:

1) broken engagement

2) very unhappily married

3) divorce.

...and why would you friends care? they don't accept you if you're not engaged?

Answer 9

Your right lets not make your friends mad! So you just marry someone and have kids with them that you don't want to be committed to and then start cheating in 5 years! Don't be dumb. Who cares what people think. You need ask God if this is the man he has for you.

Answer 10

I think it is better to do it now than to be married for several years and realize you never wanted this.  People may be upset but this is your life and you can't care what anyone thinks because you are the one who will have to live with your choices.  And you fiance will be hurt or who knows maybe relieved but they will move on as well it would kill me if I found out my husband never wanted it from the start.  Just make sure it is not the normal cold feet.  Good luck with your choice.

Answer 11

Well, I don't really understand why you are so concerned with what other people will think of you, maybe you are not mature enough to get married.  A marriage is between you and the person you are marrying, not anyone else.  If you are not sure that you want to get married, then you need to talk to your fiance and break it off.  You should be clear and concise, but as sensitive as possible.  Whatever the people around you feel is secondary, it is about what you and your significant other feel.  Break it off as soon as possible, don't let it drag on.

Answer 12

Miss Manners tells us that nothing short of sudden death excuses one from keeping a DINNER engagement, but to break a wedding engagement all that is necessary is "I dunno, I guess I just don't feel like it." By all means, do not enter into a lifetime contract unless you are quite positive that you want to fulfill the terms of that contract.

Answer 13

No, im sure ur friends might be miffed, but if they are real friends they'll get over it. And plus, would you rather spend the rest of ur life w/ someone your not sure about, or someone who turned out 2 b sumthing they're not? Or, would you rather spend your life with friends who hate you, when there is always a possibility to make new ones? And i think ur girlfriend would want you to speak up, cuz she doesn't want to live with a husband who doesn't like her, or who isnt sure of her, because that just leads to cheating, divorce, unhappiness, so it just wouldnt b good. As of how you can say it? Just tell your fiancee that you are having a lot going on in your mind right now, and aren't quite sure if ur ready to get married. Say that you still love them, but that your just not fully prepared. And if your fiancee understands and isn't VERY upset, then it must mean they really love you. Let me know if i helped at [e-mail]!

Answer 14

Socially acceptable? Do you live your life for yourself or others?

If you live for others then decide what's best for them.

If you live for yourself then decide what's best for you.

This is a tough time for you and you need to make decisions wisely that you won't regret for a lifetime.

All the best.

Answer 15

Yes, it's socially acceptable to break an engagement. What's not acceptable is going through with the wedding if you're unsure. It's also poor form to get married while unsure and splitting up a couple of months later... friends really will question your judgement.

If you're unsure, postpone the wedding if the date has been set. If the date has not been set, then talk to your fiance and get into some pre-marital counseling. Take things slow. Committing to someone for the rest of your life is serious business has greater implications other than what your friends might think.

Hope this is helpful!

Answer 16

Socially acceptable?

Far better to break an engagement than to suffer through divorce court.

Answer 17

I would much rather break an engagement then file for divorce or not show at the alter on the wedding day.  its not about others it about yourself and how you feel going into this.  if you wont be happy or are very unsure then I suggest you dont do it.  but I would really think about what you want because breaking off the engagement might mean the end of the relationship all together and not necessairly because your fiance doesnt respect your decision...but because you obviously arent in the same place in your relationship and its hard to keep going on with something who wants different things.  think about what you really want and do whats best.

Answer 18

if your not happy, being stressed out or not sure if your marrying the right person. Then its socially acceptable to break the engagement. Honeslty,  I think your friends would be more supportive and understanding, instead of hating you.

Answer 19

Being "socially acceptable" is not the issue here - it should be personally unacceptable to you to marry a person that you feel is  not going to be a good partner to you. Your friends and family will absolutely understand.

Think of it this way - better to end it now than 10 years from now, when you have a home and kids.

Answer 20

It should not matter whether it is 'socially acceptable'. It is your life and you have the right to choose who you marry. Even if you have already accepted the proposal and the ring, you can still call it all off until you say "I do". Don't worry about anyone else when it comes to matters of YOUR heart! Do what you feel is right for you!

Good luck!

Answer 21

Why are you so fixated on what society and your friends will find acceptable?  I believe you have a problem here that goes far beyond being engaged to the wrong person!

If you are not 100% positive that you can not live without this person by your side for the next 50 years, DON'T GET MARRIED.  It really is that easy.

No one is entitled to criticize you, and no one but your fiance has any right to know your reasoning for breaking the engagement.  So when your friends bombard you with questions, all you have to say is, "I prefer not to discuss it."

Repeat that as many times as you have to for them to get the idea.  And then DON'T discuss it.  Not with anybody except a good therapist who can help you work on your self-esteem issues.

But don't ever marry somebody just because you think other people would be upset if you canceled the wedding.  They don't have to live your life - YOU DO.

Good luck.

Answer 22

It is MUCH better to break an engagement than to marry someone you don't want to be with. If they are your friends, they love you unconditionally and will support all decisions that are best for you. It might be difficult, but just tell everyone the truth. They don't need the details, but tell them that you simply aren't sure about making a lifelong commitment and you want to be sure that it is the right thing.

Good luck!!

Answer 23

Don't get married if you are not ready too! It might hurt her at first but she will eventually get over it as will your friends. But if you were to go ahead and marry her and then years later when you can't take it any more divorce her she will probably be even more hurt. And years later you will have to worry about the divorce lawyers and if there are children involved and it could be just one horrible mess!!! Do it now and don't weight forever!

Answer 24

That's one of the reasons to have an engagement period. It's a lot better to break it off now then to be miserable for the rest of your life in a marriage you oughtn't have had.

Answer 25

I saw on CNN this weekend  where this chick sued this guy after he broke off their engagement.  It seems she quit a $80000/yr job and took a $30000/yr job to move where he was. Then he dumps here.  So like she won a $150000 judgement in court but isnt spending any $s cause he is appealing.  Whats Up???  If you was like worrying about a prenup this the latest.

Answer 26

You should if your not sure.Thats a sign allready.Don't hurt him any longer.

Answer 27

It is a whole lot more socially acceptable to break an engagement that to divorce.  Never do something you have a feeling you should not do.

Answer 28

Who cares if it's socially acceptable or not!!  If you are not happy, break it.  That's what really matters.. who cares what your friends think.  Just tell him you don't know if you are ready yet.

Answer 29

Of course it's socially acceptable.

How do you do it?  You just do.