Is it spoiled or abnormal anxiety?

Question

I asked a question on Thurs. about my 8 year old daughter and crying before school each day. I have been divorced since she was 3, her father plays an active role in her life. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer this summer, had surgery, prognosis is good. He is not sickly, but is getting chemo treatment and many Dr. appointments. Due to this, she attended day care over the summer, which she enjoyed at first. The last 3 wks before school started her closest friend stopped going to daycare and the crying started. Each night and every morning. Now 2 wks of school have gone and we have struggled each day. The routine is she goes to grandpas before and after school because I work and always have. Socially, academically she does fine and the school agrees. She says there are no problems at daycare or school she just doesn't want to leave me and misses me. Except for crying a couple of times at lunch recess and once during class it's before she leaves for school and the night before. She seems to pull it together quickly at school. I called psychologists ofc to make appt. They seem to think they can help. My mother thinks I'm an idiot and says she is just spoiled. I think it can't hurt to have her talk to someone to make sure nothing else is going on. It's been 5 wks and it's not getting better. I feel there was a change in her behavior that was somewhat sudden. Please any advice will help. I'm frustrated and obviously have no support from people that mean the most.

Answer 1

I think if it was that sudden its probably a reaction to her father's diagnosis. You should take her to a therapist. It sounds like she bottles up her feelings at school so she can appear normal... she needs a place where she can talk and get her feelings out in the open.

Answer 2

I agree that it wouldn't hurt to see a professional, because maybe there is some hidden meaning to the crying that she is afraid to talk about.

but I have theory.

You've been divorced for a long time, but she most likely has realized within the past few years that her father isn't in her life as much as some other kid's dads.

Your dad had a cancer scare, which I'm sure raised anxiety about him dying soon.

The crying all started after her friend left her daycare.

She says she's crying because she misses you and wants to be with you.

It sounds like she is afraid that she is going to lose you. Like, in her mind, she'll come home one day and you'll say you have to leave too. But I don't doubt that the extra attention she gets from the crying is also a factor.

What I would do until you talk to the therapist, is try to head off the crying, tell her before you leave the house that you will be dropping her off at grandpa's, and then she'll go to school and have so much fun and learn so much, and then go back to grandpa's where you'll pick her up and do whatever else you do. If she starts crying and says she doesn't want to leave you, just tell her that you will be there to pick her up no matter what. And then just leave it at that, no extra attention.

Answer 3

Theres nothing spoiled about this and not really abnormal either

Some kids have difficulty coping with new situations and have considerable separation anxiety. I do think some form of therapy would help and this continues

Answer 4

i kept my anger in for years im 14 now and shout at my parents all the time for creating me im a freak  at only 4'ft 8 but normal in porportion i coulda grown taller if parents did somthin when i was little how was i meant to kno. got picked on for years for my weight height face everything and even my b***s cuz they were to big. i wasent that fat but i was chubby. I didnt tell my parents untill i found out i was gonna be 4'ft 8 for ever i have mental breakdowns all the time and i cant help it every day i get told im short every day i try to ignore it but i cant its  getting soo hard on me im  cant do anythin to feel better

Answer 5

spoiled anxiety