Is it time for a divorce?

Question

My wife and I have been married for 15 years, we have 2 kids one of which she had before we got together but I have raised her like she was my own. My wife has admitted that she did not love me when we first got married and she has cheated on me twice so far, Our s*x life sucks (if I'm lucky once a month), she does not cook, I wash my own clothes and pay all the bills. My daughter (the one she had before we where together) recently went off to college. Since she does not pay any other bills she has been saving for the kids college. College just started and she has spend about five thousand so far (she has 25 thousand per child saved) now she wants me to pay for college! I told her I would pay for the last two years if she pays for the first two but thats not good enough. Some of her comments...

" If you don't pay for her college you're not her father"

"You're just like her father" (I won't use names but this guy has paid about 2 thousand dollars in child support in 18 years. I gave my daughter a car worth 8X more than that plus I've taken care of her!

My wife has also never supported me in anything that I do. I was on the military and have been to Iraq 4 times. She has never sent me a care package or witten me a letter. another one of her comments was that I was selfish for getting out of the military. She wanted me to stay in because it was a pay check. I have a job and I'm going to school but she wants me to give my Army G.I bill to my daughter. Another one of her comments was " You're 40 years old what do you need a Masters degree for?

Recently I have been staying in the guest bedroom. I don't want to give up because I made a commentment and my son still has 3 years until he goes to college. Should I stay until my son leaves or should I leave now?

Thanks

Answer 1

She is using you, she doesn't love you from what you have said, I would get out before the damage become too great.

Answer 2

why is your wife in charge of cleaning your clothes and making dinner and cleaning?  

Answer 3

What in the h**l is wrong with you!!  Don't you know she has already divorced you emotionally!  There is no marriage here.  Divorce affects all ages.  Doesn't matter how old your kid is.  Get the h**l OUT before your life is over.  Live a full live not misery!!!  You're a fool if you don't get out now!!  There is no love in this marriage.  There's so many wonderful woman out there waiting.  Just don't go overseas.  Too many desperate/users out there!!!

Answer 4

I can't believe you didn't get a divorce earlier!

Answer 5

The marriage has been over for a while.  It is your decision to stay for your son, talk to him.  He may want out also.  You could always take him with you.

Answer 6

I would RARELY recommend divorce before all other options have been given a good try... but if you have told the whole truth in your question, divorce might be necessary. Because you have a teenage son still at home I think you should seek a professional counsellor's advice before making your final decision...a christian counsellor preferably.

Until he is gone to college do whatever is best for your son...

Oh yea, about college... DO NOT PAY A PENNY...she saved money specifically for that reason, that is what should be used to pay for it. Whether she likes it or not the money she has saved throughout your marriage has always been as much yours as it was hers...your money went into that savings account, so you are already paying for it...seems like she wants you to pay for it out of current funds so that she can keep the savings for herself which would make me believe as soon as both kids are out of the house she may be planning to take the savings and leave you anyway.

Answer 7

she only married u for your money!!!!!

split and just take care of whatever your son needs and if your daughter ask but dont let her talk u into doing something bcuz of her mom  

Answer 8

When your son is older he will live his life for him and you should do the same while being involved in his life. From what it seems, your nothing but a walking ATM to your wife.  If she is not supportive or you and continues to cheat, is this really what you pictured in your wife?  Why are you sleeping in the guest bedroom of your home while your wife sleeps in the bed that belongs to the two of you?  I think you have answered your own question, have enough self respect and pride to be with someone who at least treats you nice and loves you.

Answer 9

I beleive that we have to do it for our kids. I am in a relaionship with my husband that sux too. a little different than yours but ia m pretty much miserable, we have a 9 month old son, if I left i would have nothing cuz i am a housewife.  but i wouldn't think it would be right for him to leave because of our son and i wouldn't wan thim to grow up like that he didn't do anything wrong.  i also have a daughter from previous, and he doesn't treat her too good, that is an issue too.  but i think you should stick it out for your kid and then when he is gone at college either go to counseling to work out your differences or separeate not fully divorce and see how things are then.

Answer 10

First, thank you for your military service!

Your son might be 3 years from college but I'm sure he's seeing the impact this entanglement is having on you...that being said, at his age, do you really think he's ok having his mother treat you like that?

I don't know that this will have any impact on you, but, kids learn their future behavior from their primary caregivers.  Though commendable that you've stayed with her because of the kids, that could also be your downfall.

You might consider counseling for yourself.  A counselor will be able to help you sort out why you'd be willing to settle for so little in life when you deserve so much more.  As well, how to avoid making that same mistake should you decide to divorce and start dating again.

Just my thoughts ~ all the best to you.

Answer 11

Ugh, Id leave the ***** right now. You may love her and be commited to her, but she doesnt love you and doenst give a rats *** about you. All she is doing is draining you of all available resources. Why stay with her? I bet if you ask your other kid, they would tell you the same thing. Get the h**l out of there, go get your education and enjoy your kids and your life. You dont need her spoiling it for you!

Good luck! Find somebody that loves you for you, not your paycheck!