Is it time for me to get a divorce?

Question

My husband's family are so in love with his ex that his sister made a family tree "on-line ancestry" and all the information about me is totally wrong and she did not bother to ask me any details, she has full details about his previous wedding down to the minister and location. My father passed 1 month ago, she put my father "unknown" which offended me. My husband will not stand up for me or have my back when it come to his sisters, they have called me every name that they can think of in the past. Do you think I should get over it or get over him. I am emotionally hurt.

Answer 1

Well you definitely need to have a talk with your husband about this situation. You say he won't stand up for you, but that is crossing the line. These women are blatantly insulting you, and he should not tolerate that, ESPECIALLY from his family. If he loves you, he should stand up for you in the worst of times. Not sit back like a pansy while his sisters intentionally humiliate you.

Obviously you've discussed this with him before, correct? You need to think about how you brought it up, and how it went over with him. Did he completely brush it off as if there was nothing for you to be upset about? Did he say things that made you feel he was siding with his family over you? You need to pick out the issues and bring them up. You've gotta let him know, the things his sisters do and say truly hurt you, and you feel that it's purposely. Make sure he realizes how serious an issue it is for you, so serious that you're considering if you should just give up on your relationship with him to escape it.

I do not think you should 'get over it'. There is absolutely no reason for you to put up with insulting, demeaning behavior like this from ANYONE, especially your 'family'. Another route would be, take it straight to the source. I would sit the sisters down, after you talk to your husband. You've got to resolve this situation, and if you do it while hiding behind your husband, they will continue to think it's ok to do these things to you. If you confront them yourself, kill them with kindness, don't call them the names I'm sure youd love to, don't get out of control angry, just sit them down, and say that they're behavior is uncalled for, the behavior of high-schoolers acting out towards a classmate they're jealous of. Let them know that their actions have caused you to reconsider the vows you made with your husband, and make sure they realize that they probably won't feel too good about themselves if they become the cause of your divorce from their brother. You really need to take a head-on approach to both your husband and his sisters, and if nobody is willing to see it from your point of view, or have some sort of middle ground where they don't have to be best friends with you, but a little respect would be nice, then I think it is best to call it quits. You're going to take yourself nowhere but down, and treatment like that can cause depression and other serious things. You don't deserve that, and I hope you can pull the strenth together to handle this situation for yourself. Good look, and I wish you the best!

Answer 2

get over him.you should come first and he should stand up for you know matter what.

Answer 3

your married to him, not them.

if he doesnt defend you, talk to him about it and let him know how it offends you that he hasnt said anything.

he should always be at your side.

you are one now.

why doesnt his family like you?

Answer 4

your issue is not with his family. you did not marry them.

your issue is with him. he obviously puts blood before you but only you can decide if you want to live with that undil death do you part.

Answer 5

Talk to him about getting a backbone.

Answer 6

I think you should not worry about his sister and other family members, you are married to him, not them.

Answer 7

Well...emotionally hurt over something like this is a waste of your time and you're allowing it to eat you alive.

I think you'd be the better of everyone if you take into account that these people are of a considerably lower caliber than you. In addition, it's an on line thing from something like Ancestry dot com. So frankly who gives a good goddamn about someone else family unless you're a genealogist?

His sisters are nothing but common street trash. that's pretty obvious if they use the language I suspect they do when referring to you. Whereas you still retain the status of a lady...something they'll never be. As far as your husband goes perhaps its just a matter of him not feeling this issue is worth even making a fuss over. I see it that way in any case.

My dear...just get used to the fact that although you may love your husband dearly, his family is of a lower staus and caliber than you. just knowing that should be comfort enough for you.

Answer 8

Lol

You just have to win them over.

Dont tell me your gonna give up because of that?

He married you and not the ex and rub that in their faces.

Answer 9

Your husbands sisters are disrespectful to you. It seems like they really don't care to get to know you either. The fast that they are not over your husbands ex is their problem. The fact they they are using you as a doormat is your problem. If you keep letting them do this to you and he won't stand up for you either it will continue to happen. Talk to his sisters and tell them that it hurt your feelings when they made a family tree and got alot of the info wrong. Ask them why they did not ask you for the correct info. If you don't want to talk to them then you will just have to ignore them and hope it will get better. Good luck!

Answer 10

Nope, it's not time for a divorce!  You have to bond with the sisters first!  Go camping or rafting together.  Do something dangerous and see that in the end you will have bonded with them.  

You cannot bond with them unless you do stuff together!  

Answer 11

I think you shouldn't get over it, nor should you get over him.

You married til death do you part, and you need to suck it up and try to work things out.  Divorce shouldn't be an option unless there is infidelity or abuse.  That being said, I'm not going to push my beliefs on you.  If you're that unhappy and divorce isn't out of the question for you, go ahead and divorce if you're that unhappy - but I think you owe it to your spouse AND the vows you gave to him to make every possible attempt to works things out between the two of you.

Sit him down and talk to him.  Explain to him that you're married, and your feelings should come first.  Tell him that you feel he doesn't stand up for you enough, and that in a marriage a husband and wife should have one another's backs 100% of the time, no questions.  Tell him that you're not comfortable in this marriage, and that you need this to change in order for you to be happy and feel totally committed and happy with him once again.

Say you understand he doesn't want to cause a rift with his family, but that you and your feelings should be his priority.  I'm sure if you explain how hurt you are over this situation he will step up and protect his wife.

Also - stand up for yourself.  Explain to his sisters if it comes up how they've offended you.  Wait for your husband to back you - if he's any kind of decent husband he will.

Good luck.