Is it time to forget?

Question

Great uncle Percy Fawcette was last seen in May 1925 on the Upper Xingu river in the Amazon with his son Jack and his chum Raleigh Rimell, Although a great explorer and cartographer, we are not quite sure why he was there, he was supposed to have gone to the racing at Ascot. Rumour has it that he owed Rotters father £500 and couldn't or wouldn't pay it back, so he went to the Amazon to hide the scandal. So do we forget Great Uncle Percy or do we try to contact him and tell him to come home. Do you think that Rotter Senior will write off the debt? We do hope he returns soon as there is an awful lot of mail waiting for him as well as 3000 tins of his favourite moustache wax (the order for it was never stopped) Mr. Golightly, the owner of 'Golightly's Moustache Wax Ltd' is pressing for payment as the bill is a little over due. Failing his return, does anyone wish to buy 3000 tins of moustache wax?

Answer 1

If the price is right, I'll go to the Amazon and retrieve him if you wish it so.

I'll need twenty baggage carriers, a stumpy little Guide, plus I'll be wanting a piece of Mr Golightly's company, think you can fix that?

The Tribes in the Upper Xingu revere me as a God you know, so I'd be off to a good start anyway.

Answer 2

Smythe old bean, my man Bagthorpe (87) has bestowed an interest of going on said expedition to retrieve Percy from his long exile as long as Sindy comes with him; however one is concerned as he is now druelling constantly?

As for the wax old bean Lady P has the best offer. One is just wondering what Sindy has to offer ??? Such a fine filly what?

Answer 3

I always offer payment in kind.  Why does your wife Lady Agatha keep on giving me dirty looks?

Answer 4

My Goodness, it is a pain tracking down errant relatives. I contacted my Aunt Agatha Peppermuff who has an establishment for "ladies" at the Amazon confluence with the Jari. It appears that she has a lucrative trade marketing her ladies' wares to disoriented explorers who are at the end of their canoes. It appears that your great uncle Percy was last seen there in 1926, when he spent the night at the lodge. The following morning, he apparently absconded without paying his bill. All that he left behind were some curious scratch marks on the door, a pool of blood, and an open tin of moustache wax. (Agatha used it as payment and it appears her parquet has never been so shiny since). That in mind, Agatha would be willing to puchase the 3000 tins you mention.  Toodle pip.