Is it time to "throw in the towel"?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 7 long years. We have had our share of fights but have made it through them. But now it has become different. My husband has a bad spending habit. From the beginning, he had insisted on seperate bills and seperate paychecks.Everything that is in my name I have to worry about and everything in his name is his. But when we went from an apartment, to a trailer, to a house, the mortgage companies only wanted me on the loan because of my good credit and his bad credit. So I was stuck paying the high mortgage. It came to the point where I paid for the morgage, my car payment, utilities, food, and other basic needs. Meanwhile he gets credit cards and maxes them out thinking he can pay just minimums. when his job slows down, I helped get a consolidation loan that paid off those cards. Unfortunately that loan went in my name and he never pays it even though it was his cards that were paid off. Now, I get stuck with that payment too and he turned around and maxed those cards out again. he won't help pay the mortgage, utilities, or food cause mostof his money goes towards credit card minimums and things we can live without such as cable and phone. He takes everything for granted and spends money like it grows on trees. he has ran this family into a financial crunch to where filing bankrupcy is our only option. I'm doing all that I can to pay the necessary bills but he is spending credit where there is none. I stress myself daily trying to make the payments on the truck and mortgage but can't do it with out his help and he knows it. He is mercilessly putting this family in thousands of dollars in debt without caring. Because my name is not on his cards, I can't cancel them out on him and to stop him from charging. He takes things for granted. He thinks that I will always provide a roof over his head, food in his belly, and keep the utilities from being shut off. But I can't pay for it all out of just my paycheck. He knows this but doesn't off relief. He refuses to go through credit counseling because they would cancel his credit accounts and he doesn't want that. I can't take it anymore. I vowed "for better or worse" but what about when the worse is just too much? He won't get a second job because he plays in a band that soaks up all the extra time for a second job or his family. HELP!!!

Answer 1

Your hubby is self centered, uncaring and detrimental to your family. I would stop paying all your bills, file for bankruptcy then file for divorce.

HE IS"NT GOING TO QUIT, he only cares about himself. So let him take care of himself alone. If you don't now what if you had kids, look how it would effect them, would you allow that to happen to them? Then don't allow it to happen to you

Answer 2

All you're getting is "for worse" here.

Leave and don't look back.

Answer 3

ok girl i know im only 14 but you have a serious problem ... you shouldn't be paying all of that by yourself. Its like he's using you, don't ever let any guy use you. you should have him go to a debters meeting for people in debt or you should leave him ... you shouldn't do this to yourself you should escape the fire before it burns down the house and the foundation. i feel sorry for you dear . but the decision is endly up to you. feel what your heart tells you to do and go with it ..  

Answer 4

It sounds like he is not willing to stop his spending, so yes it is time to throw in the towel.  He seems very self absorbed. The longer you wait the worse it will get.  You need to protect yourself, and your kids (if there are any).

Answer 5

It's time to put your hubby to the curb and do a bankruptcy and start fresh and don't look back.Next time be more careful in the type of man you pick.

Throw that towel.

Answer 6

um wow... and yes i say chunk in the towel because it seems he doesn't want to listen to reason

Answer 7

i hate to tell you but it seems that ur husband is ruining both of ur financial futures. i am not one to advocate divorce but you need one. i really hope you don't live in a community property state cuz if you do u will be forced to pay half of his spending sprees. u should get a lawyer quick and start the proceedings and freeze the assets before everything is gone.

Answer 8

This is a prime example when seperation may help.  Find whatever avenue you have to "get out", and leave him on his own. Tell him you will come home when he grows up, and becomes a responsible adult. You still love him, and dont want anyone else, but things have to change.

If he doesnt come around, you did your best, tell him you will always love him, and say goodbye in order to save yourself.  There is a reason you put the oxygen mask on yourself in the airplane before "your child". You have to save yourself first or you cant save anyone.

If he doesnt

Answer 9

Yes it's time to get away from him before he ruins you permanently.  He knows what he's doing, and he's having a good time while you are stuck trying to make ends any way you can.  He will never stop, as long as he knows you are there to pay for him.  I think I would cancel anything I could if I were you and contact a lawyer, tell them the situation.  They can freeze accounts.