Is it to soon to marry??

Question

I have know this guy since summer of 8th gr so for 4 yrs & we have always dated on&off but he has also moved a couple times but we always seem to still love e/o&he has recently enlisted into the army&we are dating. We want 2 have plans to marry next summer before he deploys nov 9th,09. for a yr..i will only be 18. He would come down in Jan to ask my dad's permission&if all goes as planned January is when he will ask me. I did have the idea of waiting till he comes back but he said "IF" something was to happen to him marrying me is one thing he will be happy that he got to do. & he already told his mom&she is excited&loves the idea but i still have to tell my parents..and right now i just need advice

Answer 1

If you have to ask someone, you aren't ready.

Wait until you are 100% sure and confident that you are ready, after all it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment and hard to fix if you were wrong.

Answer 2

My darling and I have been dating on and off since I was 14, and we only broke up because I kept moving away on him!

We want to get married one day but we're just waiting until we've been living with each other for a few years, just to make sure.

I think if you're getting engaged that young then it might be wise to wait a few years before you get married, then if things don't work you can back out.

Good luck to the both of you.

Answer 3

Might be a good idea to become engaged before he deploys and marry after he returns. That way it gives him something to look forward to and both of you a little more time to be sure of your love. By then you`ll both be a bit older and gives you both a chance to earn some money towards your wedding and future and still be committed to one another with an engagement. Don`t rush, if it`s true love, it`s not going to vanish during your separation.

Answer 4

When is too soon to marry.

Your heart will know..

If you love that person do it if you think the other person is ready...

Answer 5

you know what - there are only 2 people to think about here YOU and HIM - if you are sure it's what you want to do then do it! But make sure, in your heart of hearts it is. Don't let ppl tell u ur too young etc, only you know how you feel and whether it's going to be the right thing for you.

Best of luck!!!

Answer 6

Personally, I think 18 is way too young.  Very few marriages work out when you marry at that age.  It is a nice thought, marrying someone you love before they're deployed, but don't rush into anything JUST because he's shipping out.  I don't know... 18 just seems too young.

Answer 7

age should not be a barrier.  If you feel it's the right thing to do, go for it.

Getting engaged is just an extended part of the relationship.  You don't have to go through with the marriage part if it doesn't work out.

Good luck!!

xo

Answer 8

If you're asking this question I think it might be too early for you.

If you can't say a definite yes you want to marry him you should lay out your fears and worries and talk to him about it and try to smooth them out

Answer 9

How do you think your parents are going to feel about this? Do they like the guy you are dating? I think that is going to make all the difference in the world. What happens if your dad says no when your boyfriend asks for his permission?

You guys are both still very young. I understand why you would want to get married - there is always that chance that something could happen to him; but when he does come back you have to think about where you are going to live, how you are going to support yourself, etc. There are a lot of things to think about.

Just think things through really hard...and realize that it might be possible that your parents aren't going to be to keen on the idea. Try to listen to what they have to say though and respect their opinion.

I'm not saying you shouldn't get married - a lot of people marry young and things work out wonderful. But, just think things through long and hard.

Answer 10

well its easy to say lets get married before he goes but you have to be ready for marriage its a big step in your life and if your relationship has only been on and off and not a continual thing how do you know you truely love each other. but in the end its a decsion you have to make.

Answer 11

my fiance said that he wanted us to get married before deployment because it would give him something to look forward to return home to and make him be a little less reckless over there. also that he wanted to marry me regardless so it would be better to do so beforehand because that way if something were to happen to him he knows that i would be taken care of

i don't think you need to tell your parents unless you really want to, i mean that's the point of him going and asking their permission

Answer 12

Marriage is a big deal.....you can be engaged and still move on to the army base with him. Take your time i know that you might be scared if he is deployed out but the army have a wonderful support base for people at home.

Just get engaged first......don't rush anything.

Answer 13

the fact that u're asking on yahoo really shows u're very unsure...my brother is in the Air Force and he got married when he was 19 and now that he's away from his wife over in Korea he's kinda wishin he would've waited so that he could explore his batchlorhood...i think you're very young and u should wait...i know u really have love for this guy but he's not going to be around for a while and newly weds should really be together...u guys should give each other promise rings or something and promise to alway love each other because like he said what if something happens to him...u'll be a widower at 18 yrs old....

Answer 14

Marriage is a big thing.  Just make sure that you can handle it.  There are a lot of compromises. Eight teen is young, but I know how love is.

Answer 15

Have you lived together yet?  I would highly suggest waiting to get married.  Perhaps get engaged, then wait a few years and live together before you get married.  

I was engaged to a marine when I was 19.  If we hadn't have lived together, we would be married and I would be the most unhappy woman in the world!  

Please remember that you are only 18.  You may feel "grown up" now, but when you are 25, 30, 40, 18 will seem SO young.  Take the time while you have it to have fun!