Is it too much to ask my mom?

Question

I'm 18, almost 19 and I will be a freshman in college in a few weeks. I'm not a bad person at all.. I have a 3.5 GPA (from highschool), I've never been arrested.. never got in any type of trouble.. but my mom still treats me like a baby! I want to sleep over my boyfriend's house because he lives an hour away (and it would just make more sense since I'm driving that far to see him) but she never says yes! Is that really that big of a deal?! I feel as though I'm an adult now, I should be able to sleep over my boyfriend's house - it's not like I'm doing drugs or anything like that!

Has anyone else ever had this problem!?

Answer 1

It's because your mom doesn't like the idea of you being at your boyfriends house.  The idea that he could be defiling her precious daughter runs through her mind.  My mom had a huge problem with me staying at a boyfriend's house.  She still does and I'm 25 and don't live with her.

When you are under her roof it is best to follow her rules but when you are off on your own, you are your own boss.  Tell her that she'll just have to trust you.

Answer 2

I do not think it is the drugs she is working about, it is the s*x.  I am a parent and I can understand where I your mother is coming from. I am not saying you are having s*x, but I think your mom is thinking, if I let her stay the night, then I am giving her promission to do it.  

You only have a few weeks and you will be off to college, where your mom will not have a say as  to where you stay nights.  Give your mom a few weeks of peace and mind and come home like she asks.  It is only an hours drive, you are young and can handle that.  She will have enough to worry about in a few weeks when you do head off to school.

As parents, we never stop worrying about our kids, it does not matter the age. I am a 13 and 9 year old  and  I know I will be worrying about them when they leave the  hours.  Heck I am 38 and my parents still worry about me.  

Answer 3

Unfortunately as long as you live there, she makes the rules.  The person with the responsibility is the one who gets to have authority too.  So save your money so you can move out on your own and pay all your own bills.  Then you can sleep wherever you like.

Answer 4

I've had this problem on both sides-- as the parent and as the child.  Do you live at home?  Do you pay rent if you live at home?  Basically, I'd say if you are living at home, rent free, as you attend college, you are reaping the benefits of being her child, and she has the right to expect you to behave as such.  If, on the other hand, you are paying rent, then your relationship is a tenant to a landlord and you have the right to behave away from your "apartment" as you see fit.  Is rent-free life worth the lack of freedom?  Only you can decide.

Answer 5

youre in her house so you have to play by her rules. thats how it works. then again you are an adult and able to decide for yourself. sounds like you just need to have a heart to heart with your mom about you growing up and her letting go.

Answer 6

tell her you have been an adult for a year and she needs to get over it good luck

Answer 7

You ARE an adult. Legally she doesn't have a leg to stand on if you put your foot down and tell her you're going to do that. I'm a 43 year old mother of two adult daughters and if they had a similar issue, I would only hope that they were wise and used a proper contraceptive. You may not even be in a physical relationship, which is your business, not hers. You have two choices; either respect her wishes and don't rock the boat, or let her know that you're a legal adult and have the right to sleep at his house if you want. I can't condone a physical relationship before marriage because I'm a bit old fashioned, but hon...you'll have to make that decision on your own. If Mom really cares about you, she'll let you make those kinds of decisions for yourself. As parents we try to do what's best for our kids, but sometimes we can be controlling beyond what's considered normal age appropriate behavior. Either submit to her authority or take the bull by the horns and tell her you're going to sleep at his house. Explain to her that you respect her and let her know that you've given it a lot of thought and it makes more sense to stay than to drive home with these gas prices. Not to mention, safer. I wouldn't want my daughter out driving around after dark, alone. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Yes, I lived at home until I was 20 and the entire time I lived at home. I always had that problem. But I did it anyways and lied about it. I just recently told my mom what the case was and she wasn't really all that shocked. But I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now.

Answer 9

Well...

    It may be a big deal to your mother because since she still thinks of u as a baby even though u are going away to college she's only worried about 1 thing same as every other parents whose child is in high school or college..... s*x...... that is what she is worried or is gonna be worried about when or if u ask her

Answer 10

I have a 19 year old daughter about to turn 20, Now, she's legal, but I can't make her do the right things I have taught her what's right / wrong. I just trust her to do the right thing. Now,  If she doesn't. I'm still there for her. I know you want to do the right thing by yourself as well as your Mother.  I just let her know, it only takes one time to make a baby. Being an adult is not a #, it's being responsible in your actions, words, decisions. Being a Mom is hard. I know your Mom only want's the best for you. She just want you to do it the right way. There are always consequences weather right or wrong. I applaud you for having a 3.5 GPA, awesome job!!  "And have never gotten into trouble.Wonderfull" Don't let sleeping with your boyfriend become your main focus. Your doing great!  Keep up the good job. Your boyfriend will respect you even more. Trust me. He will.