Is it too soon to let him cry?

Question

my newborn son is 1 and a half months old and i know you cant spoil them at this age but when is it ok to let him crry on his own?? if he isnt hungry and his diaper isn't dirty of course...

Answer 1

6 months, when they are that young they cry for a reason...hungry tired,wet,bored,in pain. so if they cry they are trying to tell you something not get attention. pick the baby up and love on him while you can :)

Answer 2

My son will be 2 months on Monday and I know how frustrating it is to hear them cry when they've been fed and have a clean diaper. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine letting a kid that young cry. They are just so helpless and that age!  

Answer 3

I don't think so at that age, they do not know enough to cry without being a reason...for instance my son is 9 months and cries when he wants to get picked up if I'm to busy I put him down and let him cry eventually he stops and starts playing ( he doesn't even have tears at times) a one month old is to young to associate crying with a want, if they are crying its becasue they need something..it could be lonelniess or they just need to feel your warmth or even in pain...when my son was that small I could recognize different cries.  He cried differently if he were tired, hungry or in pain. Try to listen to your baby's cry...I know it can be frustrating because I've been there but believe me it's a stage that will pass.

Answer 4

In my opinion, it's never OK to let a baby/child/teen/adult cry alone unless they ask to be left alone.  If you're capable of stopping the tears- why would you opt not to?  "Self soothing" is c**p.  Screaming for mommy or daddy is not soothing in any way, shape, or form.  Babies don't WANT to be loved- they NEED to be loved.  Physical contact is a NEED.  Affection is a NEED.  

Answer 5

You mean to self sooth... I have been told not until they are at least 6 months but some also say 4 months I would see do not let the child cry for more than 1 minute, but I would say right now if they are crying it could be needing of sleep, contact with you, along with hungry and or dirty diaper. some babies are hungry within 2 hours after you fed them feed them again. then try to see if they will go 3to 4 hours. good luck you will get a lot of slack for this question I am sure. just keep in mind you are the mother and ignore the harsh questions.

Answer 6

It never felt right to let my daughter "cry on her own" and she is 8 months old now.. Eventually (if you haven't already) you will be able to tell the difference between his fussy/tired noises as opposed to his painful cry. To me it all sounds annoying : P but babies cry or make fussy noises for a reason. No human being ever just cries for no reason. There is always a reason.

He might need to burp (this can take a long time sometimes and they can even need to burp if they haven't eaten recently), he might be gassy, uncomfortable, or any number of things.

Answer 7

Yes, waaay too soon to let him cry just yet.  You can't "spoil" a child until they are closer to 4-6 months or so.

He could have colic, be too cold/hot or any number of things.  If he wants to be held, do so!  Try using a baby carrier so you'll still have two hands to get stuff done around the house!

If you still want to let him try and CIO, then lay him in his crib or other safe place for no more than 5-10 minutes.  If he is still crying, then something isn't right.

Answer 8

one month is way too young to let them CIO.  If you are going to use CIO I would wait until they are at least 5-6 months.

Answer 9

"if he isnt hungry and his diaper isn't dirty of course..."

And what? Wanting a cuddle isn't also a vaild reason for him to be picked up?

The answer to the question "should I let him/her cry alone?" in any situation or at any age is a flat out NO, and at your sons age you would also be risking his life by leaving him alone to cry.

Answer 10

oh Wow..

Leaving a baby to cry is NEVER ok, but to do that to a 1month old newborn is just NEGLECTFUL.

Answer 11

1 1/2 months is too young to just let him cry.  At that age they don't yet know that crying will elicit a response from you.  You can't spoil a baby until they're about 6 months.

Answer 12

in my opinion it's never ok to let a baby cry. i think it is so cruel. even as adults we like to be hugged and comforted.

Answer 13

It's really not ok.  Crying is how babies communicate.  They're not independent beings, and they have a strong need for their mothers.  They cry to have needs met, and even if he isn't hungry or dirty he still has a very real need for close physical contact.  He should be held most of the day.  

Just think of more traditional cultures where a baby is strapped to his mother's body for the majority of the day for much of his infanthood all the way into toddlerhood.

It's our Western society, with it's strong emphasis on independence and schedules that makes us think that infants need to learn to self-soothe and be apart from their mothers' bodies.  But it's not how human beings were designed.

If you need to look at it this way:

Your husband comes home and you're really sad and lonely and crying.  He looks at you and says, well, you're not hungry, and you're not in pain, so I'm not going to give you any loving.  And he leaves the room to let you cry by yourself.  How would that make you feel?  Would that foster any feelings of trust between you and your husband?  Wouldn't you want him to hold you and comfort you and just be there with you?  Same for a little baby, who has even more need for that.

Answer 14

Why did you have a child?  This is part of being a M-O-M.  Your poor child!  Don't let him cry or he will never be able to build his trust in you!

Answer 15

Is your baby colic that he cries that much?  I just had my 3rd baby, and the only time that any of them cried is when they were hungry, wet or just wanted to be held.  And my 2 older ones do not act spoiled.  Personally, I love it when my newborn cries, it gives me an excuse to pick her up and cuddle with her.  

Answer 16

You actually should never let them cry. It's impossible to spoil an infant. In fact certain studies show that if you attend to them quicker and they cry less as an infant they'll cry less as a toddler and young child. If he isn't hungry or needs his diaper changed he could be bored, overstimulated, tired, or lonely.