Is it weird to ask my stepfather if I can change my last name to his?

Question

My parents divorced when I was 2. My mother remarried to my stepfather when I was 9, and then died a year later. After that, I lived with my stepfather and his new wife until I left home at 17 for college. We haven't had much of a relationship since then, and only started speaking again a few years ago. We are on good terms now, but not exactly close. I still have my biological father's last name. I won't bother going into detail here, but I want nothing to do with him and am tired of people making assumptions based on our shared name. I mean, I don't even know him. Would it be weird to ask my step-parents if I could take their name instead? I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but part of me worries they might be weirded out. What do you think? Any input would be appreciated.

Answer 1

I think your too old to even ask.  

You will marry some day and can take your hubby's name.

Answer 2

If you're over 18 you can change your name to anything you'd like.

Minors have to have parental permission, either the biodad or the stepdad (if he adoted you).

If you're an adult, go ahead!  You may want to ask him as a courtesy but I bet he would be honored.

Answer 3

Your step parents helped raise you.  I'm sure they love you and consider you one of their own.  I think you should ask them.  I don't see any harm in it.  

Answer 4

No, it is an excellent idea.

Answer 5

if thats what you want then ask...if youre over 18 and have the cash you can do it anyway..its up to you ..i think its a very nice thing for you to respect your stepfather so much..in my oppinion i think they would be honored at such a thought...just me......

Answer 6

if he raised you as his daughter, he should've given you his last name, and that being said, then no it is not weird to want that as your last name. my fiancee is adopting my little girl and we're going to give her his last name.

Answer 7

once you are 18 you can change your name legally to what ever you want.

Answer 8

I think he would probably feel honored to let you take his name.  He sounds like a great man to have kept you after your mom passed and he must have found a wonderful wife to have agreed.  I am happy you had a step father like that!  Ask on...

Answer 9

I'm sure if you were to ask him, he would be touched and amazed.  I am a step-mom to a beautiful 18 year old woman... and I have never made separations in my heart that she isn't mine.  I didn't carry her in my body, but I've stayed up worried to death a fair many nights, on her behalf.  Trust me.  Good step parents want their children to love them and, would be honored to have such a coveted title as MOM or DAD.  Good luck, and I'm sorry for your loss.  

Answer 10

Your step father would probably be honored. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 11

I don't think this is weird at all.  If this is the person you grew up with I could see how you would associate him to be your family since you lived with him for 15 years and his new wife.  You obviously are in contact with them as though they are your family.  Many kids around the age of 17 or so don't have much to do with their parents.  Did you mother have his name when she married him?  Is that also why you would like the name.  I would explain yourself to him when you ask and tell him if he needs time to think about it and even discuss with his now wife that you are prepared for that.

The only reason why I could see him saying no is that he does not feel as though you are his child or his new wife doesn't like the idea of you being seen as his child.  Ask the question?

If you are wanting it because it was your mothers name then just tell him this as well.   If he says no then perhaps you should take your mothers maiden name.

Good Luck

Answer 12

Not at all.  I know of many people who have done that.  Your step parents have assumed the role of a 'real' parent by being a part of your life and upbringing.  I think they would feel honoured if you took their last name.  It's a great thing.  If other people have a problem with it, too bad.  Go for it I say.

Answer 13

IF YOUR CLOSER TO YOUR STEPFATHER THAN YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER GO AHEAD

Answer 14

I guess you haven't asked your stepfather yet.

That's where I would start.

I think he might more likely be pleased, flattered even, to think that you'd like to have his surname. After all, he has been your father since you were nine!

Answer 15

i think you step dad would be flattered.  it is a compliment and would probably mean something very special to him.  It is not weird.