Is it worse to have an abortion, and regret it, or to have a child, and regret it?

Question

And why? :-)

Answer 1

It is worse to have an abortion and regret it.  When you abort, you are killing someone else.  If you have a child and regret it, at least the child can still grow up and have its own life.  Having a child and regretting it can be grown out of, but you can never get over having an abortion.

Answer 2

This is a really thought provoking question isnt it?  I would ahve to say it would be worse to have a child and regret it because that would mean you are not only affecting your life, but selfishly someone elses and they didnt choose to be born did they.  At least with an abortion (even though I couldnt have one personally), it is only affecting your life and not potentially leaving a child in care and the danger of life repeating itself.

Answer 3

I don't know which is worse but i know which i pity more, which would be someone one who choose to have an abortion and lived the rest of thier life regretting having killed thier child. Some one who has kids and regrets it is being selfish (they had the kid because, on some level they were just doing something THEY WANTED like having unprotected s*x or having a baby because they wanted one, and then regretted it because it wasn't what they wanted it to be or because it limites thier ability to live exclusively for themselves, its all about me me me and what i want) also eventualy the kids grow up and move away and then they can go back to living for themselves and not worry about it, but once you have an abortion the kid is dead forever and you have to live with the regret till your dead

Answer 4

abortion people - imagine how great that child may have been if it were allowed to live. What if your mum got rid of you, everyone needs a chance. if its that bad rasing a child, surround it with lots of people, so that they have a stable and better upbringing - get familiy involed. YOU may even get rich through that child.

Answer 5

Oh Great question!!

Its between abortion and adoption isn't it really?

So its down to personal choice and which situation would work best for the individual.  

With abortion the attachment the women (and man) would feel towards the foetus would be minimal, yet to see, touch, and, smell the baby would maximise the attachment, thus making the regret bigger.

Answer 6

Neither is worse. People make the best decision they know how at the time, whether others agree or not. If you regret having the child, you could ruin both your life and the child's. If you regret having an abortion, you might be tormented for a long time

It's worse to make a decision, regret it, but not learn from it in some way. We make choices and even if we regret them, we have to make the best in spite of them.

*EDIT*

I'm so amazed at how many people make blatant statements like "You'll regret your abortion because you know you murdered" or "you'll regret it because you never know what it would have been if you had the baby."  In my short life I have known (well) 6 women who have had abortions under one circumstance or another. None of them regrets it. What they regret is that they were careless or uninformed or that they didn't double-up on birth control, etc. You don't hear from these women because they consider it a private matter.

I'm sure SOME women DO have guilt and regret. But before you start making blatant broad statements, try talking to a few women who have actually gone through this. I have. It's enlightening.

Answer 7

Depends on the woman.

I don't think many women who end up having a baby they are unsure of regret it once they see the baby and that motherly love consumes them.  The only thing is, they may feel overwhelmed and burdened because of the time and money the baby requires. They may wish they had the baby at a later time or under better circumstances for their and the child's sake or iIf things are bad enough for the child where they feel guilty bringing them into that life they may feel some remorse, but not necessarily regret, and there is always a chance they can make things better.

As for an abortion, you can never get that baby back. Some women are ok with that because they know that it wasn't right for them at the time and others may think about who that child could be today even if they had given them up for adoption.

So, if you have a child and regret it, then I would say that is worse- something is wrong there.

It is normal to regret having an abortion.

Answer 8

I would think it would be worse to have the abortion.  You may always wonder who this person was, and you may feel you murdered another human being.  If you are pregnant and don't want the baby, put it up for adoption.  There are thousands and thousands of people that would be glad you did.  No regrets.

Answer 9

its worse to have an abortion and regret it. because you never know what that baby could have turned out to be, what he could do, or how happy he/she could have made you. its basically killing something inside of you. so its worse to get and abortion and regret it, because your always going to have that guilt.

Answer 10

Wow, nothing like the "pop" off the can of worms at this time of the night!

I think it depends entirely on the situation.

There are many many parents who I wholeheartedly believe should have been given the option of abortion! The children are suffering horrendously in these "families", and with Child services stretched to the limit, they are constantly falling through the cracks, and are in danger of repeating the vicious cycle.

I also have seen a couple of friends who had abortions due to pressure from family and partners, who are still full of regret. There is no reason why either of them could not have cared for the child in every way, so they feel that it was a totally irresponsible decision.

I am of the opinion that in the day of such diverse and readily available contraception, that both the father and the mother should be subjected to the horror "info clips" on abortion before they make such an important decision. In fact, I think they should be showing these procedures in high schools to at least educate the girls (and hopefully the guys), exactly what goes on in these procedures!

It will be interesting to see what kind of responses are given on this particular topic.

Answer 11

Its  worse to have an abortion becouse it's  murder who know's what that baby could of become he could of become docter. lets say you are the baby and your mom is think'n to have you or have an abortion if you could talk what would you  say. if you could talk to martin Luther King's mom would you say why didnt you have an abortion. what makes you any better than the murder who killd a man cuz he whanted reveng for somthin he did. but you killd a baby cuz....YOU DID NOT WHANT IT?

Answer 12

I am against abortion so I would say before someone would do an abortion , consider that there is people out there who would love to have a child of their own and can't and would give that child a life and to them it would be a blessing and a miracle ♥

Answer 13

It is SO much worse to have a child & regret it than to have a abortion & regret it!!! I had a abortion when i was 15, judge me as u will but that was mine & my bf's dession @ the time, i still regret it now sometimes & will never forget it but It may have been even worse if we had had the baby & then couldnt give it a proper childhood or simple things that a child needs. As far as adopion goes i personaly couldn't do this because i could not go through the whole pregnancy then give my baby away that would tare me up more than what i have alredy done! P.S judge my comment however you see fit but something tells me that ther is alredy ENOUGH children being brought into this world some countrys are over populated as it stands & it will only get worse! & as for adopedion ther is alredy far too many children in care etc without me adding to that number! & My VERY personal opinion is that I do NOT want to bring a inisent child into this world, ther is far too many children suffering alredy for reasions such as: war, rapeists, pedofiles, murderes, etc etc & far too many people that just realy shouldnt be allowed to have children! I would spend the rest of my life after the birth worring/consurned about such things! :)

Answer 14

it is worse to have an abortion and regret it, because you will always wonder what could've been, but more importantly, abortion is murder in whatever language it's dresses up in (ie terminating a pregnancy).

Answer 15

*EDIT*

To the people that keep saying "You can always give the child to someone that wants it... Um... You have NO IDEA what happens in the "Child Welfare System"!

The HORRORS... The ABUSE... THE MOLESTATION...

I have known FOUR people that were in the system in Arizona and California and 2 of them killed themselves after years of mental illness and drug abuse trying to get the horrors they experienced in the hands of the state out of their minds...

There are MILLIONS of homeless, orphaned, and unwanted children in the world... Most of them end up being tossed into the real world with NOTHING after being in state care...

NOTHING.

Once you turn 18, they thrust you into the street with no family, no support system...

Those that get Adopted to GOOD homes are few and far between...

You would be SHOCKED at how many children are given to people that just use them as slave labor... How many kids are "pimpped out" to 'homes'...

All the while, GOOD people are turned away because they don't have $30,000.00 and 5 years to go through the process of perminatntly adopting children...

Good AMERICAN people that are denied the chance to adopt an AMERICAN child that need to go across the ocean to adopt a baby...

My cousin has 3 children of her own and wanted to adopt. She has vision problems so they said that she was "Too disabled" and refused to allow her and her husabnd to adopt... They went to china and brought home an unwanted baby girl.

Am I happy that they were able to bring home the baby girl? h**l YES! She is a great kid... But if her parents had aborted her in the first place, she wouldn't have languished in a state home until some forign semi-wealthy couple came to give her a good home... SHE lucked out... There are thousands and thousands of other baby girls in China that won't be so lucky...

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.

I would abort 100 babies before ever thinking about giving a single one to the hands of the state.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

10000000% to HAVE the child because if you are not ready to breed... You will be a HORRIBLE parent that will resent your child and the child will pick up on that resentment and be hardwired to be a maladjusted child from birth...

Compound THAT disgrace with being unable to feed, clothe, care, and provide medical care for your child you not only do the CHILD disservice, you do SOCIETY a disservice by milking the working person's Tax Dollars that COULD have gone to better use.

Don't like all the potholes in the street? Blame welfare because money that COULD have gone to infrastructure is being funneled to help people that are too stupid to keep their legs closed and pay attention in school...

Maladjusted children, most of the time, grow up to be bad adults... Who breed and spread their plague of mental illness and stupidity to their young, continuing the cycle...

I would kill every baby born this year with my bear hands if it meant that I could save just one child the horrors of being abused and neglected...

Giving birth isn't about the PARENT's best intrest... It is about the CHILD's best intrest...

I find it VERY disturbing that most Pro-Life'rs don't seem to give a d**n about the child AFTER it is squeezed out...

Answer 16

to have a child and regret it is by far worse! i was the accident and i spent my whole life feeling like a was not wanted or needed.not a very nice life for a kid!  i now have a lack of confidence, suffer bad depression from a life of never being "good enough" and watching the brothers (the chosen children) being treated differently.

Answer 17

If you abort then you will have to live on with the feelings of guilt and maybe the thoughts of what might have been had you kept the baby. Also what if in future you can't have kids?

If you keep an unwanted child then the child will know and have to live with your resentment and possible abuse (not saying you would abuse) but some do.

Answer 18

Its always better to have the baby. Abortion is just wrong. If you have a abortion you are the one who will explain to GOD why you killed one of his children when its your turn to meet your maker. If have the child and take care or her or him it will the best thing in your life. Granted they drive you crazy but seeing your child graduate or maybe your first grandchild makes up for all the bad times .

Answer 19

It is better to have the child and give it up for adoption. If you have and abortion and regret it there is nothing you can do about it. Have it and give it away ,you'll regret it also, but at least you know they will be taken care of.

Answer 20

Sounds to me you're in the mind set you're going to regret it no matter which way you go on this.  You may have a child and get what's called post-partum depression, where you have some sort of regrets set in, but that is normally gotten over with the fact that, yes, you had a child, and now you must make the best of it, no matter what.  It helps, though, if you especially have a willing and loving male image in the picture, be it husband or lover, who can help you through this, and loving and caring family members who support you. In abortions, family members usually do not support as well, and if there is no father for the baby to relate to, then the regrets may be minimized somewhat.

Answer 21

I personally believe that it is bad either way.  However, having a child and regretting it is bad for the parents AND the child.  Having an abortion is bad for you physically, mentally, and emotionally.  This is why we have the right to put children up for adoption, so they can grow up with a family who will love them and never regret them.  And there are open adoptions now where the birth mother still has the right to updates and information about her child, if you can't stand the idea of having a child and never knowing how he/she turns out.  However, women have fought continuously for their right to abortion and if you so decide to have one it is your right to do so.

Answer 22

I think it is worse to have an abortion and regret it. One can not 'undo' the process of having an abortion; therefore, one is most likely to feel that regret for the rest of their life.

However, after having read the many responses to this question, I have noticed that several people agree that it is worse to have an abortion - and regret it - because they think that there is a solution to regretting a pregnancy, that is, adoption. These people need to know that there is much hardship involved with the process of adoption and this solution is not as quick and simple as it seems.

I am thankful that such a thoughtful and interesting question has been asked.

:-)

Answer 23

It's worst to regret having an abortion because you have killed the baby, where in the other you still have given the child life so he can go on and make a difference. I hate how people say that the crime rate has gone down since abortion was made legal. Do they also realize that it isn't only possible criminals that are being aborted, it is also possible presidents, heros, soldiers, mothers, farmers, and other people that make our world turn.

Answer 24

well really it depends if you and your lover want a baby but if u both arnt ready yeh you can regret it and also you would regret it if you had an abortion becuse practically you feel like you have killed someone so i think its worse to have a child and regret it.

Answer 25

I would say having the abortion and regretting it, if you are even contemplating regretting having an abortion, remember that you have to live with your decision either way, as their would be nothing you could do to reverse this decision, where as if you have a child you will still love that child after they have been born, however hard your situation may be. I am pro abortion myself. My be not up to 24 weeks as it is in the U.K., but up to at least 16 weeks.

Answer 26

Hmm......I would say it is worse to have an abortion and regret it. You see, when you have an abortion, you are actually killing a person, and preventing one life from entering this world.

Whereas, is you have a child and regret it, at least the child is alive and he may even make a famous name for himself. Then he will honour his mother greatly.

Hope this helps and God Bless. Thanks:)

Answer 27

To have a child and regret it! You can always have a child later if you have an abortion, but if you have a kid and regret it > you're stuck with it. I've read about people who have really regretted having children and it just sounds horrendous and incredibly sad.

Answer 28

it is worse to have an abortion and regret it. if you do not have the child, he/ she is gone forever. if you really regret having the baby, you can give it up for adoption or give it to a family who is less fortunate and cannot have children.  the worst thing to do is take an innocent human life.

i saw a bumper sticker on someone's car and it was so true...

"choose life, your mom did :) "

Answer 29

Once you have a child, and you are fairly normal and loving, then you won't regret it. In fact, you will be so grateful that you went ahead with the birth when you look into your child's eyes later .

However, studies show that women who have abortions, somehow end up depressed for most of their lives (I wonder why, duh).

Answer 30

To have an abortion because you can never get the baby back because if you had the baby and regreted it you could stil grow to love the child or just let someone adopt the baby.When you have a abortion you'll never know what could of happened.

Answer 31

to have a child and regret it. two people suffer then.