Is it wrong for a married man to give a single woman these items?

Question

He seems interested in me & I thought it was innocent, but I wonder if it is. A while ago he posted a picture of himself up on my cubicle wall (a funny picture of him with a celebrity I like, pretending like they were friends), knowing I would get a kick out of it and then recently he burned a CD for me of music he feels I would like. Is this appropriate given he doesn't do this with other women in the office? We email each other often, so I wonder if this triggered the wrong feelings in him, even though the emails aren't really flirty?

Answer 1

Distance yourself from this man. He defiantly has a crush on you. You may even want to tell him that you just want to keep the relationship a work relationship. His behavior can only lead to more and more trouble.

Answer 2

He does like you and he is going out of his way to show it.  But that doesn't mean he wants more than friendship - unless YOU feel he's coming on too strong.  If he is, you will have to stop answering his e-mails.  Just claim that you are too busy.  If that doesn't work, start asking him how his wife is doing.  That should cool things a bit.

If you take him aside and explain that you are uncomfortable, hopefully the situation won't escalate to harassment.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but its not right. You aren't doing anything wrong, but he is. Let him know that you appreciate his friendship, but no relationship in his life should be more important than the one he has with his wife.

Answer 4

i think if u are wondering then u already know its wrong..  

Answer 5

you should keep your distance. it may be going good now but if you guys have a disagreement and it turns ugly, that's not something you wanna deal with at work on a daily basis. plus if he's married, you should respect that, even if he isn't.  

Answer 6

Wrong!!!!

Answer 7

He is flirting. You need to stop that or you may end up being gossiped about at work because people think you are cheating with a married man. Its not going to help you get promotions at work to get a reputation like that.

Answer 8

It doesn't seem too much to me, more friendly than anything else.

I wouldn't read too much into it. It looks like he's just being friendly.

Answer 9

Yes it's wrong.

Answer 10

t's wrong and inappropiate

Answer 11

It's inappropriate and wrong.

You better stop now before it goes farther. Remember you have to work with him and if anything went wrong/sideways it could be very uncomfortable.

Kindly tell him you are not interested in these gifts and not to do it anymore.  If he persists then be straight up and tell him you are not comfortable with the fact he is married and giving you these items and to stop.

Answer 12

I don't think it's "wrong". He is just being friendly. If it does go too far, let him know.

Answer 13

No need to get uptight about a little flirtation.

As long as that's where it stays.   Funny pics, forwarding the latest email joke collection or a CD of songs is NBD.

But Jewelry, Romantic dinners, tickets to the ballet,  Soulful confessions on how "his wife doesn't understand"  this is "Will you be my mistress?" territory.

Men flirt.  How far the flirtation goes is usually up to the woman.  Feminists have made the workplace hypersensitive.  There's no need to see evil intent every time some guy compliments you on your outfit.  But don't be naive either.  If he goes too far, just tell him to "behave himself".  It's usually not hard to tell romantic from friendship gifts.

If he's giving you a copy of the Karma Sutra, Shakespeare's sonnets or Sensual Massage Techniques,  this is 'romantic'.

But if its a book of humorous cat photos or corollaries to Murphy's Law it falls under 'thought this would amuse you'

Answer 14

He probably just sees you as his "work girlfriend". Then, he goes straight home to his wife and feels like the "man" for having his happy housewife on one hand and his side girl (female co-worker, albeit this is just in his mind) on the other.....there seems to be an inherent need for duplicity with a large segment of the male population.....

Answer 15

Well Maria, if it feels wrong then maybe it is what it is.

He is married. Say no more. Put yourself in her shoes...would you view this as ok behavior?

Don't bull yourself. Sure this is a great fasination but come on now, dont let it go to far.

Answer 16

just put it this way if that was your husband doing that would you like it would you think its right.

Answer 17

This is not appropriate and if you respect his marriage then dont get involved with him.

Answer 18

Its wrong just return then en say iam sorryur a married man can  be this niceto your wife en e doing those things to ur wife,stop being used gal