Is it wrong for me to let my 9 year old daughter sleep with me when she is scared

Question

I am single and she has her own room. But sometimes she gets scared or we watch movies in my room on the weekend and we will fall asleep. My mom says I should make her get back into her bed.

Answer 1

Its ok as long as its sleepin', as long as it doesn't turn into anything else if  ya know what I mean... lol ah thats pretty gross

But no seriously its probably ok.

Answer 2

When I was 11 1/2 I still slept with my mom. My father works so I would sleep on the floor and when he was on vacation it was just me and my mom! Don't worry kids feel safest around parents aslong as it isn't every night it should be fine.

Answer 3

If you want to do something like movies on the weekend, that's fine. As long as she knows she must go to her bed afterwards. How long has she been sleeping in your bed? I wouldn't make a habbit out of it.

Answer 4

My mother always put me back in my bed or sometimes slept with me until I fell asleep.  To be honest there were nights when I was so scared I felt like I couldn't breathe and I had to sit there alone.  So it's up to you to determine her level of fear and to take action when needed.

Answer 5

Nothing at all wrong with that what so ever.

Children do get scared now and then. WE ( me and my huband  ) always allow ours in if this happends.

Answer 6

Get a life Kristy L all you do is talk about spanking your kids goddamn they are going to hate you for this would you like someone to do that to you?No I do not think so I would run away if I was your kid and girls are very fragile and you are ******* your kids up for life.Anyway my daughter is ten and sleeps with me actually both of my girls sleep with me every night.

Answer 7

it's completely normal to let her sleep with you sometimes. It's not a big deal at all no matter what anyone else says because if it's ok with you then it's fine to let her sleep in your bed with u.

Answer 8

depends as long as she isn't sleeping with you all the time or even most nights then its fine

Answer 9

no, my mum was a solo mum and i slept with her until i was 13 or 14 aslong as its not weird or anything for either of you then thats fine.i liked to sleep in same bed as mum cos it used to make me feel safe especially since my dad wasnt around

Answer 10

It's not necessarily wrong but it isn't really teaching her to handle her fears.   And it could make it harder for her to stay in her own bed.    

Answer 11

Plenty of people in the world sleep with their kids in the same room or the same bed, but they also perform all their acts with the kids there - something I don't think you'll want to do.  

What happens when you meet a nice chap? I think this is what your mum is worrying about, that not only will she have to cope with a new man in her life, but she will feel pushed out of your room and have been replaced as the one you spend that time with.

Maybe it's best, if she is scared of something, for you to go in to her room with her and cuddle, then you can go back to your own room later. There's no reason why you can't bring a blanket downstairs and continue watching movies tucked up together, but an adults bed has more uses then watching tv, and when you need it for that purpose, it's going to be hard to force her out without hurting her feelings.

Answer 12

no. She is scared and who do you want when your scared? MUM! Let her in. As long as it is not an every night habit then it is fine. Do what you feel is right. You're the mum

Answer 13

If it's only on the weekends there's nothing wrong with it.  My girls and I often have what we call "slumber party nights" in my bedroom we bring in "junk foods" ice cream, we watch movies, do makeovers about once a month and we all end up sprawled on my bed...

Answer 14

A once in a while sleep together is fine.  Do not make an every night habit of it, tho.  You don't want the child to be afraid to sleep alone, which could happen if she's used to sleeping with you all the time.

Answer 15

I don't see a problem with that. If she were 15 and doing this, I would be worried, but she's still a little kid and lots of little kids sleep in their parents' room. It shows that you care about her.

Answer 16

I think it is ok occasionly but not all the time.  I have 2 girls age 8 and 10, so they around the same ages.  I would never let them sleep in my  bed and once when my youngest was being really stroppy and wanting to sleep in my bed ( not cause she was scared) when my husbamd was away I pulled down her knickers and gave her a good spanking.  This taught her not to do it again and she is quite happy sleeping in her own bed now!  hope this helps...xx

Answer 17

I'm a single mom and my two girls like to sleep with me too.  They are 10 and 13.  During the school year they sleep in their beds.  I try to have more of a routine, but during the summer time we all bunk out in the living room.  We have become a lot closer this way.  It is like a sleeping party!!  We stay up late chatting and laughing hysterically.  It is a great bonding experience.  I personally see nothing wrong with it.

Answer 18

Why would it be wrong?  She's your child.  Mom and daughter sleepovers are great !

Answer 19

I have this problem with my son and I have found that once in a blue moon has turned into nearly every night.

I have spoken to his psychologist (he also has ADHD) and he said that part of the problem with letting him sleep with me is that he is not going to be as independent and will rely on having to be with me to be able to fall asleep. How true that was.

He will fall asleep in his bed and wake up suddenly and run into my bedroom. If he cannot get in I have found him outside my door asleep.

While it is hard, I have to agree with your mom. This is not a weird she's too old sleeping arrangement problem, this is about making sure that your child becomes an independent person and can handle sleeping (and doing other tasks) on her own.  

Answer 20

if its not that often its okay. if you make it a routine thats not healthy for either of you

Answer 21

I love all the parenting advice on Dr Sears' Web site. Www.askdrsears.com

He says it's OK, but do a sticker chart- however many times you are comfortable with having her each week, give her some stickers. when they're gone, she has to sleep in her bed. Each week or so, give her fewer stickers.

Conversely, give her stickers when she doesn't sleep in your bed, and a reward after a certain number of stickers.

Good luck.