Is it wrong for young girls to be attracted to much older men? Why or why not?

Question

I'm 17 years old and practically all my life I’ve been attracted to older men and when I say older I mean at least a 6 years or more age difference (whether it be teachers, celebrities or friends of my older brother). I wouldn’t say it’s entirely based on physical appearance because I don't care much about that. Besides there’s plenty of attractive boys my age at my high school, but none of them really do anything for me. I have so far had a crush on only one boy in my school and that was based mostly because of his level of maturity and the fact that he was far more intelligent than most teens his age. Even when I was little, in Grade 3 when a boy my age gave me attention I would lie about the boy bullying me in order to seek the attention of my male teacher. My friends find my behaviour gross, inappropriate and believe it's just a mere phase because while most girls around my age are in love with the Jonas Brothers or Zac Efron I would pick men like Christian Bale or Edward Norton over them any day!

What do you think? Are my friends right? Is it gross, inappropriate and only a phase? Please give reasoning if you think so. And why is it only older men? Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

ya i think its cuz ur looking 4 someone more mature and 2 kind of look up 2 like ur nite in shining armour. personally i think its a bit weird but it normal cuz thats how far apart my parents r from eachother

Answer 2

I'm 17 too and I like older guys. It is known that women mature faster than guys so guys our age act like they are 10 and it's not attractive. I don't only like older men like I find some guys my age to be cute and I'd like them but there is just something about a guy that is older and more wise and just doing something for his life that makes a girl like him.

lol well just know you're not the only one in the world who thinks like that =)

Answer 3

I'm no psychologist, but I would guess that you are looking for someone to lean on. Learn to stand up for yourself. Your opinions are valid. When you were a child, it may have been comforting to you to be able to turn to a male authority figure. As an adult, you will come to resent authority that tries to control you.

Answer 4

That's just wrong.  

Answer 5

I also feel it is all based on maturity.  I have this terrible thing:  I CANNOT date anyone my age or younger.  AT ALL.  I would always seem to find men who are at least 4 years over my age.  I think I find that I cannot get along with men my age or younger based on our maturity levels.  They annoy me SOO bad!!  They seem to make bad decisions.  BUT quite recently I had met this guy, who was 3 months younger than me.  Now when I met him, after I found out his age, I just disregarded him as 'too young'.  He even told me that wasn't true and he would change that.  Well, what do you know 4 months later, he was my best friend ever.  I had more fun with him then I had ever had with anybody, and since him, I almost find it hard to look at older men as attractive.  He did something to me and those 'young tenders' started looking GOOD.

Answer 6

I have similar thoughts as others here about men maturing later than women, but I disagree that men mature or that the attraction is a "maturity thing".  Rather, it is a power and security thing.  From a biological evolutionary point of view, women are attracted to men who will provide security and stability to the family and men are attracted to women who appear capable of producing young (not that they plan to raise the young, just produce them).  Social evolution has tended to seek the development of men who WERE willing to stick around and raise the children, until fairly recently when those institutions have come under attack by the insurgency of egotistical thinking.  From an education point of view, the intellectual and cultural goals of maturity have risen in age from the adolescent years to the adult years of the upper twenties, but the biological level of maturity has actually decreased, although the decrease has not been as much, maybe a couple of years (in other words puberty occurs earlier).  This situation has caused several generations of s*x crazed teen-agers who are not prepared for the responsibilities of family life.  Because of growing egotistic thinking in society, many men go kicking and screaming into adulthood, unwilling to become mature adults, although their jobs and their accumulation of wealth and their lifestyle fool young women into thinking they are mature.  Young women are in a rush to become mothers.  These forces have created a mess.  I do not think the consequences apply to the majority of adolescents, but I think it refers to enough that ithas caused concern.

Thus, my advice is that you should not get into a relationship until you are stable, both financially and in life goals, around 26 or 27 years of age is good; be wary of any man who has been in previous or existing married relationships, know your boyfriend and his friends and family well, as much as possible; and be wary of men not willing to make a commitment.  Go into a relationship with your brains as well as your emotions.

Answer 7

Its often a gap like this because girls look for a guy with proper social alignments, intellectuality, maturity, intelligence, experience, strength etc that favors olders guys.

While guys look for youth, health, playfulness etc that favors young girls.

that didn't really answer your question did it?

what i am saying is its natural for you to feel this way, however different persons have different tastes and opinions and might judge, but don't let them get to you.

Answer 8

You are looking for maturity.  I'm dating someone who is 7 years younger than me.  It's normal.  Think of how many women fawn over Sean Connery even though he's old enough to be their grandfather.  Or Johnny Depp, who is in his 40s.  Honestly, there are women who are attracted to younger men (dated someone who was 11 years older than me; she was awesome).  It is the same with guys sometimes (like me)  It isn't gross or inappropriate, but it is against cultural norms.  But onces you're out of HS, it's all fair game!

It's not about maturity, because girls and guys are about at the same maturity level (I know it goes against everything, but honestly, when I see a bunch of college girls giggling like a bunch of naughty and gossipy 13 year olds, that is immature.).  (Note to the first reply: you are going to change you're opinion when you leave high school, whether it's physically or emotionally)

Answer 9

older men (3 years or more than me) really grosses me out...i dont know why i have just never been attracted to them

Answer 10

i've known a lot of cases like that.

i think the reason it's like that is because older men are more mature. of course we women like mature men, those who know how to take care of us and those who know how to please us.

i guess that's that. but as for me, well, i kind of fall for close friends than strangers no matter what age.