Is it wrong not to want my mother in law to come over??

Question

She always wants to come over during the week in the morning to see the baby. It is not convenient for me as we usually wake up around the time she calls! I am booked all week in the early afternoon with classes for my daughter. She never comes in the evening or weekends which is what most people do! Is it wrong for me not to accomodate to her schedule when I have a baby to work with??

Answer 1

No its not wrong set your boundrys with her now before it goes to far. dont be mean about it just set your limits she will understand even though its hard for us, I understand what your going through I have been there.

Answer 2

No, you are not wrong at all.  

Stop picking up her phone calls in the morning.  

From your end call the mil, and tell her that you would love for her to come see her grandkid on weekends but any other time is inconveninent.  I wouldnt even tell her evenings are ok because she may overstay when the baby needs to be put to bed, etc.

Keep it on the weekends.

Answer 3

Absolutely not.  Like you stated...it's hard enough taking care of a baby and getting everything scheduled for her.  I completely understand your problem!!!  

On the other hand I understand your mother-in-law wanting to come and see her grandchild all of the time.  Even though it is very annoying to you, it's good that she wants to be a part of your daughters life and that she feels comfortable enough with you to want to come over all the time even when your husband isn't home.

I'm sure she would understand if you told her that you had signed you and your daughter up for these classes and that it would be better for the two of you if she would come over in the evenings or on during the weekend sometime.  If you feel comfortable enough with her, you could also maybe invite her to come with you and your baby for one of her classes.  Now if you are not okay with her being in your business, don't ask her to come.  But I'm sure she didn't have these classes when her babies were little.  She would probably really enjoy it.  I have taken many classes with my babies and there are often grandparents there.

I know that it can be difficult dealing with in-laws at times, so the best of luck to you.  God bless:)

Answer 4

It's not wrong to not be available all the time, but it sounds like you don't want to be available any time during the day.  

My thought is to drop a class and make time for MIL.  The baby will benefit from a relationship with her.

She is probably trying to not take up your evenings and weekends.  Use her to your advantage.  Ask if she can come over and let you nap.  Then sneak off with a good book.

Answer 5

Well i dont really care for your problem but if i were you i would give her certain times to come and tell her how busy you really are instead..:P

Answer 6

Why don't you have your mother-in-law take your daughter to one of her classes?  My mom takes my son to story time at the library on Fridays.  It's their special time together and I get a bonus of a little time to myself to get stuff done.  Plus, I don't feel guilty not making my child available all the time and she doesn't feel excluded because I know they will see each other each week.  My FIL, who we would not allow to take care of our children on his own, attends my son's swim lessons each week.  He just comes and chats for a minute before my husband and son get in the pool, he sits and watches the lesson, and gets his hugs when it's done.  Having a weekly scheduled time for grandparents to bond with their grandkids eliminates the guilt from not always being available to the extended family.

Answer 7

No, it's not wrong.  You just have to tell her that that's a really bad time and that you'd be happy if she came over in the evening or on the weekend.  I'd make sure to say that you really want her in the baby's life and you want to work out times when it works for both of you so that you don't hurt her feelings or make her feel like you're trying to exclude her.