Is it wrong of me to contact my ex-husband in regard of my children?

Question

I feel horrible I left my children with a dope head and an alocholic, but he could always keep a job. He is an electrical engineer. I am so frustrated bc he extended the protection order on me for another year bc the first one he claimed I was harrassing him. I called him multiple times bc I made an appointment w an mediator and he wouldnt call me back to let me know if the time worked. I have been civil with him, but a few things pissed me off like him bring over a drug user girlfriend that I have proof of and she has been phsical with her daught like breaking a brush over her head. I have called crisis response and she told me I made the decions at the time and I need to forget and move on with my life which I have but woory about my kids all the time I wish it was that easy or do i just have problems?

Answer 1

Just because you left your husband, it doesn't mean you have no right to see your kids, unless they don't want to see you.

Take the proof to a court, and tell them what you've just told us. In the most likely case, all you can do is get a proper divorce. Everything will come out in the open. If you've already got the divorce, all you can do is apply for sole custody.

If you don't want sole custody, i don't think there's much else you can do.

Your mediator should have you on record if you did make the appointment. You can get the restraining order lifted if you provide evidence that there was an appropriate reason to be calling him so often.

Maybe try child services. Get them to investigate. But even if there's bad people hanging around, they won't do anything unless your kids are directly in the line of harm.

Good luck.

Answer 2

The only question I see in that blob is "Do I just have problems?"  My answer is yes, you do.  You have created a huge mess by leaving your children with someone you knew was abusive.  I'm sorry, but how exactly can anyone who intentionally leaves her child with abusers call herself a loving mom?  Purposely putting your children in danger is neither loving nor responsible parenting.  You've messed up big time.  If you know that abuse is going on, call CPS immediately.  You need to fix things for your children's sake.

Answer 3

I don't understand what you are saying.  Does he have the kids--or do you?  I think I might understand what is going on and you seem like you might be making things up.  The courts normally are more likely to give kids to their mother so if they did in fact award him custody and a protection order than you must have done something really bad or be in a really unstable situation.  I don't believe that any crisis response worker would tell you to forget about your kids.  It seems like you are a bit out of touch with reality and your story makes no sense.  I can see why your ex has the kids.  

Answer 4

Is it possible that the protection order extends to the children?  If so you best leave everyone alone and get yourself some help to figure out why he got custody of the children, if he is as you claim to be a dope head.  

It sounds to me like you are the person with problems if he had to get a protection order.

Answer 5

I don't really understand what exactly it is that you are asking.  It sounds like this whole thing is a giant mess.  If you feel your children are in danger, then contact your lawyer.  Contacting your ex is the last thing you want to do.  You'll only get in trouble for "harassing" him some more and he won't believe anything you say anyway.

Answer 6

Wow. Sounds like you need to contact children's services and have them start an investigation. If your ex is really that bad, they'll take the kids away from him and possibly let you have another chance. What is your situation like that you felt your children would be better off with him???? Sounds pretty desparate! You will never be able to forget about your kids. You need to fight for them, to get them into a better situation, whether that be with you or someone else, I don't know, but you want them to be safe. Good luck.