Is it wrong that I'm not letting my daughter go to Italy

Question

My 13 year old daughter's friend has a summer home in Italy and they invited my daughter to go with them next week. I said no because I don't really know the parents. My daughter was fine with that reason expecially when I told her we'd be going to Maine a week before Labor Day.

Now I'm wondering, was I wrong not to let her go to Italy? It's not to late to buy her a ticket, should I? Please help!

PS: I'm a single dad, her mom isn't in the picture.

Answer 1

nope it is absolutely not wrong you are right shes too young  and if u don't know they parents it is a good reason

Answer 2

If you don't know the parents well, why would you even ask this question in the first place?  Parents are ridiculous these days.

Answer 3

No I don't think it's wrong.  I believe your decision was right.  And even if you tried to get to know these people now, what if yo didn't like them?  It would really obvious why you're wanting to know them sudden;y and so even more obvious if you didn't like them!  I think this time you should let it go. For her, I don't think it's seeing Italy that she would like as much as it is going with her friend - so perhaps she has her own reservations too if she wasn't too upset.  Also I believe that at 13, well, I'd have preferred Disneyworld to Italy, if you get me.  Sure it's a wonderful place to visit, even for a teen, but it's so much more wonderful for someone older.

Answer 4

sit down with the other childs partents. if that goes well i would say let her go. going to italy would be a great expierece for her to have!!!  and since she didn't throw a huge fit when you said no the first time... shows you what type of woman your daughter is becoming. I would be proud.

Answer 5

No, you were right. If you imagine what a mother would say to something like this - you'd know you made the right decision! If you don't know the parents, then you don't know how strict or lenient they are. 13 year old girls don't always have the best decision making skills in the world when left to their own devices in another country - anything could happen between her coming home preggo to not coming back at all! Especially if your daughter is fine with that and will enjoy Maine - yeah - I think her mom would stand by your decision for sure!!! Italy is not like the United States and it's really not that safe or morally clean here anymore either!

Answer 6

You are definitely correct in my opinion. I wouldn't send my children ANYWHERE with people I didn't know, especially not out of the country! 13 is still very young and again, not knowing the parents is the main issue. Maybe you can get to really know them over the next year or two and then see about a future trip.

Answer 7

i think u made a good choice especially since u dont know the parents that well.

Answer 8

I think you made a good choice as a father, and if your daughter is good with it that's great!  To know that your daughter understands is a blessing and remember, better safe than sorry!  If you would like her to go, or are scared you'll beat yourself up about it, ask if you can go to dinner with her friend's parents and chat with them.

:]  

Answer 9

you are making her pass up a wonderful and educational opportunity please let her go! i would kill to go to italy!

Answer 10

You are doing the right thing. Italy will be there next year and perhaps her friend can take her then.

I have 3 daughter(1 year, 2 1/2 and 4)and my fiance has two daughters and a son(the daughter 4 and 8, the son 10)and we agreed, we'd never send our kids overseas with people we didn't know all that well.

And your going to Maine, which is oodles of fun! I love Maine! Have fun!

Good luck and kuddos for being a concerned father.

Answer 11

I would be hesitant as well, especially if I didn't know the parents well enough. The fact that your daughter didn't have a fit because you wouldn't let her go is amazing! She seems like a good person. If I was her...I would be extremely upset.  It's up to you whether you want her to or not.  Just talk it out with her and see what she would like to do and make sure you get to know the parents because sending your daughter overseas is no joke! But the trip sounds fun!

Answer 12

If you don't know the other kid's parents then you shouldn't let her go. It's your duty as a dad to protect her and that means not taking any risks with her safety. She's only 13, it would different if she were almost an adult, but she's still a child.

You made the right decision, and your daughter trusts that you did, which makes you a good father.

Answer 13

No you were reasonable.  It's not like she is going down the street.  It's across the world, where you can't be if something happens and she can't just run home if she wants to.  She was fine with it, leave it alone.  Don't let the fact that you're a single dad give you a guilt trip over it.

Answer 14

If the parents want your daughter along with them they need to make time to meet with you. Treat them to dinner or appetizers or something at your restaurant -- call them up and invite them on a certain night and ask them to come a little earlier or later than the dinner rush -- suggest a time -- that you can sit down with them at least for 10-15 minutes and talk to them.

If you feel comfortable with them I think you should let your daughter go. Going to Europe as a young person will be a very nice cultural experience for her and will stay with her forever. If you can in good conscience let her go I absolutely feel you should do so as she will benefit in so many ways from seeing some of the world.

They have to eat dinner or lunch sometime -- even if they have to come separately I think it is worth you buying them dinner on the house to get a chance to speak with them for a while and get your gut feeling going of whether you think you can trust them or not. If your daughter trusts her friend, that is really something to look at, too. Kids know after all...most of the time.

Answer 15

It is not wrong at all especially since you don't know the parents.  That is a very tricky age - lots of trouble could be gotten into without responsible, reliable guardians!  Plus, she is happy with the wonderful trip you are taking her on to Maine!  Enjoy your vacation together and do not regret your decision.

Answer 16

She is your daughter so it is your decision whether to let her go or not.  You said no...that's it.  

Answer 17

no you were very very riught. First of all, italy is a very liberal place. Lot's of nude beaches and stuff of the sort. Not good for a 13 yr old girl who's with people you don't know too well. It would be a fun experience for her sure but she's a little to young to be sent that far from her family for that long.  

Answer 18

I totally understand your apprehension, especially being a single dad. She's only 13, you don't know the parents and how responsible they are, don't regret your decision. There is always time to go to Italy... keep her with you as long as you can cause very soon she won't want to be going on vacations with her dad. I have a 16 year old, so I've been there.

She'll have plenty of opportunities. And she's ok with it, so don't sweat it.

Answer 19

I would get with the other parents and discuss it because this could be a really great experiance seeing italy is beautiful the first time i went i was in fourth grade well anyways just give it more thought than just no you dont wana be dan in real life lol just give it a chance i give you props for being a single dad

Answer 20

Well there are many pros and cons.

I trip to Italy is quite possibly, a once in a lifetime experience; and very difficult to pass up.

However, she IS 13, and still very young. It's understandable to say No, and I agree with your decision. Especially since you don't know the parents and what their views are in what children should and should not do. IE: Drink in a foreign country.

And if she accepted you answer so easily... don't worry about it; and have fun in Maine!

Answer 21

Italy is pretty far to travel alone, i mean without you. I don't think you are wrong at all. You are her father and you are looking out for her best interest. Her traveling that far with people you don't know too well isn't such a good idea although I'm sure they're good folks.

I have a few suggestions though,

1)Why not get to know her friend and the parent(s)? It's always good to know who your children are playing with/hanging out with and the parent(s) that are raising them.

2)You said " its not too late to buy the ticket, I'm guessing your paying for it? Well why not buy yourself one as well and go with her? I'm sure as  parent(s) they would understand your concerns for your daughters well being and wouldn't mind since you are paying for the tickets. I mean I know its pretty far fetched but its just an idea.Plus you can get to know each other while your there.

Well Good Luck and hey, if she doesn't mind so much, don't stress so much, she'll enjoy spending a week in main with her dad just the same!

Answer 22

Well, think about it, do you know your daughters friend well? Is she a good person? Would she get your daughter into trouble over there? And what's really imporrtant is do YOU trust your daughter? And how long will she be gone? if its a couple weeks then I would say yes, if its a months or something like that, then, maybe consider a no.

I HOPE THIS HELPS!

Answer 23

let ger go!!! call over the parents before agreeing to anything then buy her a plane ticket.. shes probably only fine with it.. because she doesnt want to agrue.

Good luck=]

Answer 24

well if she was ok with it.... then dont feel bad about it

u shoulve talked to the parents... to get to know how they are

stop worrying

u did wat u thought was right for her

Answer 25

My dad is single (no mother in picture as well) and I am 14. He would make the same decision that you are. My dad always needs to know the parents of my close friends, especially if I were going to Italy with them!

You are making the right decision, but in the meantime get to know these parents and maybe she can go next year!

Best of luck :)