Is it wrong that I resent a guy that stole from me, for now having a baby?

Question

I used to be friends with this guy "Paul" until he stole almost $100 from me last year while I was hanging out at the house him and his friends lived at. (There's no other explanation, since I counted my $ right before going to his house straight from my waitressing job, and there was nobody else in the room where my purse was except Paul the whole time) He never contacted me after that either, making him look all the more guilty.

A few months ago I found out that he was expecting a baby. I was shocked, but also angry and resentful. I mean, when I was pregnant a few years ago people told me to get an abortion and other mean things...showing that they basically disrespected me and didn't think I was as capable as other mid20somethings are of raising a baby...yet everyone's being supportive of Paul. I know this sounds sacrilegous, but I even feel maybe God is more supportive of Paul The Thief becomming a parent than me, since He allowed Paul's baby to survive pregnancy and become born, whereas mine was miscarried at less than 8 weeks and I haven't had the luck of becomming pregnant again since, even though I purposely "forget" condoms on a regular basis, etc.

Is it wrong to feel this way? I can't help it. If it was my FRIEND expecting a baby I'd be happy, but why the h**l should I feel cheer for somebody that stole from me??

Answer 1

Of course you should feel resentful. But you should talk to him about your $100. Even if you're not going to be friends after this, just get your money back.

Answer 2

It seems small and petty.

Maybe God isn't more in favor of Paul having a baby than you, he just knows that you aren't ready. Paul may be a thief, but he isn't trying to dishonestly create a life by "forgetting" condoms. Why would you do that? Do you think that finding out you are pregnant "by accident" will make your partner more likely to want a child than just asking him outright to make a baby on purpose? That by itself means that you aren't ready for a child.  Also, Paul probably isn't harboring resentment over something so comparatively small that happened such a long time ago. People change and the fact that you could be upset about the conception of a child that will hurt you in no way leads me to believe that you don't have the emotional maturity necessary to raise a child.  

Maybe God just knows that now isn't the right time for you to have a baby. It sounds like you need to do a bit more growing up before you can be fully responsible for another human being.

EDIT: Maybe you should chill out a little bit, stress is bad for fertility.  Why would I hate you for getting pregnant? Seems like a silly thing to do really. I'd be happy that you were happy. I can disapprove of someone's actions and still be happy for them. But honestly, if you love your future child you would do him the favor of making sure he had two parents who love and want him, not one parent who does and one who resents him. Tell your partner that you want a baby, and if your partner doesn't want children don't "trick" him, just get a partner who DOES want kids. THAT is the mature and responsible way to have a baby and would probably result in a quick and easy conception for you. Since you are obviously ready, find a partner who is too, or just go to a sperm bank and be a single mother. Both of these are good options. Forcing a child on someone is not. You have to know that you are doing this the wrong way, and since you brought God into this, maybe he wants you to do it the right way.

Answer 3

dont hold on to a grudge it will only hurt you not him

be happy for the person that stole from you

Answer 4

This is kinda a sticky question, but i think that you should be happy for him regardless of thevery or not. I feel that anyone blessed with bringing a wanted child into this world ought to be congradulated. I think that you are being kinda selfish. I understand that you are still hurt about your miscarriage, but trust me when your time is right then it will happen. I hope when you say that you "forget" to wear a condom that you are in a steady relationship with someone and not just trying to get pg with some random person. Just remember that no matter what he did to you be angry about that all you want, but don't take this out on this child be happy for the two of them.