Is it wrong that if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't get married?

Question

I've been married for 8 years to a man I love dearly. I've stayed faithful and we have a good relationship. It does have flaws because neither of us are perfect. But I feel like I got married because I was expected to. I'm not into any religion. But I don't see the purpose of marriage. I mean just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to go out and get married....Other than financial reasons. It's easy but costly to get a divorce, but if I had it to do all over again I wouldn't get married. I want to know what your opinion on marriage is whether you are affiliated with religion or not, and why do you think marriage is necessary. Also what do you think of my opinion?

Answer 1

People you seriously need to get this whole religion / marriage combination out of your head's , back when the holy lord jesus walked the earth marriage was swapping goat's , cow's , bead's for a woman how is this a noble idea to be comparing love and commitment to ? seriously.

Right as for the whole marriage issue what do you mean you felt you were expected to get married ? so you did it ? hmmmmm yeah this is a sad row of roses for sure.

Plain and simply put marriage is a piece of paper , 2 ring's ( not counting the engagement ring ) a whole waste of money you could have used as a down payment on a house or business ( considering I have seen some people spend $10,000 on the ring for the chick and $50,000 to $100,000 on the wedding and then another $50,000 on the honeymoon I mean come on people thats NOT love its greed ) , anyway back to the subject at hand.

I married twice and regret my 1st marriage but I didnt marry him for financial support nor for societies expectation's , I am 36 and divorced twice and I can tell you my man and I are 100% happier NOT being married if your not happy yet your man is everything you want and your not willing to divorce and just stay living together then maybe you dont belong together?

Just please stop bringing religion into it , society even now in this year 2008 is beleiving the only way to be happy is by being married ? where are the girl's getting these idea's it's like we stepped through the time warp and we're back in the 1940's come on girl's wake up you dont need the ring you dont need the $500,000 debt of becoming bridesilla just get your life together for yourself buy an apartment , get a career , travel the world .

Good luck I can not say anymore.

Answer 2

Marriage is not needed. Marriage is the act of making a promise you you and your spouse and god. Well you did not want the reliion part but oh well lol. I am 2 lazy 2nite to delete lol.

Marriage is for those who can stand being alone but the trade off is trying to make it work.

Single is being somewhat lonely but you can just look after yourself.

both has pros and cons

this day and age cheating is so rampant now. And divorce is happending because off a rough spot in the marriage. I mean come on now lol.

Answer 3

Marriage to me is no longer necessary as I have gone through that too when I was too young to decide (21+). I didn’t even what love really is. All I knew was he is nice to me, he is the first man that being so nice to me. I have to admit that I am rather regretting now after over 10 years of marriage. But I've never regretted to have my two lovely children. Though they might be the key factor of why my marriage doesn't turn out to be perfect like those I always wish to have - lovey dovey couple... : )

But if you could give me a chance to choose all over, I will not go into marriage. I would rathers stay single and be loved forever. But I still want to have my daughter and my son till the day I’ve to depart. : P

Answer 4

I don't think marriage is necessary and I definitely think there are many people that should never get married.  You can't help your opinion, it just is what it is.  I love being married.  I like knowing I have a partner as I go through life.  It makes making plans for the future more fun.  I love the feeling of family and togetherness.  It makes me feel like I'm living a more complete life.  As long as you have balance with your own dreams, hobbies, view points, etc. A partnership is just another dimension of a fulfilling life.

Answer 5

You sound like my sister, all except if she had to do it all over again she would have said no, and handed him the ring back right at the altar!!!! My father warned her!!!......... He was right!

Answer 6

I would like to get married eventually, that is if I felt she was the one for me. I'm not affiliated with a church though I do believe in Christianity. Marriage is necessary because it ties the bond between the bride, groom, and whichever religion head your affiliated with. I can understand where your coming from with your opinion. But that's just thinking hypothetically. "The grass is always greener on the other side."

Answer 7

I got married cheep and painlessly in Vegas it has lasted 4+ years together 6+

i did not want ot ever get married cus i saw my mom marry man after man after man as i grew up. like 6......

but i met the right one at the right time and i did do it, i was older and had "sowed my oats". and i would never go back. i am not a church going person. For me it was a symbol of the fact that i love him and want to be there for him for the rest of my life.  

Answer 8

I do not think marriage is "necessary"  I think (as a nonreligious person) it is simply a legal way of acknowledging your relationship status.  Had domestic partnerships been legal in our state before we got married, we would have done that instead.

Answer 9

I don't think marriage is always needed .I really think that is a choice that has to be made with great thought.If you feel expected or obligated in any way ,whether  it be religion or just something inside yourself that says no ,then it should be  a no.There are some people that love being married and that have been married for 55 years  and still feel connected and  love each other.It is a learning process of course one with a lot of craziness .I think it is something that can not really be decided in a general sense .It either feels right or it does not.

Answer 10

if i wouldnt go to h**l (which is very contradicting for me to say because i cheat) i would've never got married so early. We just had too much s*x and i felt obligated after awhile. Without Christianity i would be 22 living with my moms in the streets chasing them gals but instead im 22 living with my girl in the streets chasing the bottle.

Answer 11

Eh, i don't happen to think getting married is a necessity.  Seems a bit pointless with the way things are these days.

Answer 12

Just by seeing your name you have Beautiful Tragedy, you are confused...Marriage is a beautiful thing when two people are in love..I believe in Marriage...

Answer 13

I don't think marriage is "necessary" from some objective point of view. It's a social concept, and makes sense only in the context of the society we live in. I'm not religious, and I got married for reasons that have nothing to do with religion - I got married for social and practical reasons. In our society, it is still a "norm" for a long-term couple to officially declare their commitment by getting legally married; yes, you can declare your commitment to one another without it being recognized by the state - and it's perfectly fine if this is what you want. But, generally speaking, the way society keeps track of its members is by affording certain legal status to people who follow certain rules, take certain tests, etc. You can learn how to drive and be a great driver - but you will still get in trouble if you never bother to get your driver's license. The driver's license does not make you a better driver - all it does is it assures the society that you can indeed operate a vehicle. Same with marriages - this is the way the society keeps track of partnerships. When you are in an official partnership (i.e., marriage), it's not just your word against theirs - it is an arrangement that can be legally recognized and backed up by the state. You get certain benefits and acquire certain responsibilities based on this official status. Suppose you were about to start a company in a partnership with your best friend; wouldn't you want to have all your paperwork in order? If you just give your best friend money to start up an ice cream parlor and pledge to each other that you will split the profits in half, this is not gonna hold up in the court of law if your friend forgets or misunderstands your intentions. You would certainly get things in writing - not because you don't trust your friend, but because this is the way you all can keep track of what's going on.

I'm am married, and I would do it all over again. I appreciate  the benefits that marriage provides, I like how it makes many things easier for us as a couple, and I also like "fitting in" and not sticking our like a sore thumb, having to explain everyone over and over why we are not married. Being a husband/wife carries a lot more weight when people evaluate your relationship than being - what? - boyfriend/girlfriend? "significant other"? partner? There isn't even an unambiguous word to describe the arrangement. Ironically, some people who are not married but are in long-term relationships still refer to their partners as husband/wife; this is just a shorthand for "we are together long-term as a couple." I just don't see why it is so horrible to make it official and enjoy everything that marriage brings - be it tax breaks or emotional satisfaction or greater social acceptance. I agree that marriage can't fix a bad relationship - but it can't "break" a good relationship, either. Did my feelings for my mate change overnight when we got married? No, of course not. Things between us remained pretty much the usual. But in the eyes of other people our status changed just about overnight; we could have been together for several years and I probably still wouldn't have achieved the recognition that the title of a "wife" brought me instantly. I enjoy and value that. But I suppose it's not as important to other people, so it may or may not be the factor in your own decision to get married. As long as it doesn't bother you to be un-married - there is no problem at all. To each their own.