Is it wrong that my sister said I can't come stay at her house because her boyfriend is visiting?

Question

My sister lives with her daughter and my mom in my moms one bedroom apartment. As you can imagine they are very tight living quarters, but my mom has gone away for 30 days to a treatment center to try to stop drinking. I have been having problems with my fiance, we are arguing 24/7 in front of our children, etc and I wanted to get away for a little while to clear my head. My mom said it was OK that I stay there and I talked about it with my sister and her only concern was the electric bill and grocery bill becoming more expensive. I offered to pay the difference and that we wouldn't be a burden it was just for my own sanity and to get my two kids out of the negative environment. She told me her boyfriend would be staying this coming weekend and so the bed wouldn't be available, but we talked about me borrowing an air mattress from somebody to solve that issue. All was in order until I called her today to say I was coming and she said I couldn't stay there when her boyfriend was there because she wanted her time alone with him. I told her my mom said it was OK and that I needed to get out of her, my fiance is a loose cannon (he got so upset the other day he threw his hunting knife and gashed a hole in our bedroom wall)... she said I would need to find somewhere else to stay though when her boyfriend is visiting. I got so upset because this is somebody she has only been dating for a month and she's already making him her #1, forget me (her sister) and my sons (her nephews) and just being really selfish and bitter about us coming. I told her I was coming anyways and she said "well I don't know how you'll get in, it's a good thing I have the key" and I lied to her and told her my mom would give me her set of keys if I want to go over there. She was being so nasty, and still even 3 hours later she's stuck to her guns, got my mom on her side now, and isn't letting me come anymore.

Answer 1

sorry to hear about all that.

i guess y ur sister isn't very welcoming about the situation is because of the tight livin quaters which u mentioned.

it would b pretty hard having so many ppl packed in such a small space bt at the same time ur her sister and she SHOULD put u first.

u say she hasnt been dating him dat long, with your mom out of the house she probably wants to grab the oppurtunity to hve some alone time wit him in order to get to kno him better.

ur mom probably sided with her to avoid arguments and also stress. being in that treatment center can't b easy on her.

try findin some1 else to stay with.

ur fiance dosen't sound very stable, rethink your relationship.

keep safe

GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

I understand you see an opportunity to get away but moving three people into a one bedroom where two others will already be, maybe even another, is just too much.  You are just avoiding your own issues anyway.  You are doin everything all wrong in life, you have kids with someone you aren't married to, living with someone you aren't married to...yikes.  You better get it under control or you're gonna have real problems.

Answer 3

Honestly, you can't blame her, you came on like gangbusters and were very demanding about it, and you should have somewhere else to go. BTW, if your fiance is a "loose cannon" and throwing knives around, you MIGHT want to re think the marriage because things will only get worse after you tie the knot. Get some friends so you have more than your Mom's crowded apt to go to and don't force yourself on your sister. Your BIGGEST problem is your fiance. Take care of that first, and don't add to your Mom's stress right now.

Answer 4

I understand where you are coming from. blood is thicker than water. they should not be putting him first. If you were my sister i'd put you before anyone.you are in need of something for a good  reson and they should understand that.good luck!