Is it wrong to be the receiver of flirting from a man when I'm married?

Question

I don't really flirt with this guy who I work with. I respond to his frequent emails & he seems to be flirting with me, but at least we rarely visit each other, although we work together. Yes, I am attracted to him, but I wouldn't ruin my marriage over him as I am happily married and have good morals. This flirtation on his part has been going on for months. I've asked him to lunch a couple of times with our coworkers only, not by myself, which I find harmless. I find him to be a fun & sweet guy, but I don't want to lead him on, as it seems he more and more seems a bit too interested in me. I don't want to end the emailing, though. I don't want to talk to him about this, because he hasn't made any moves on me, so I am not worried he will. Is this something I should do? Is it wrong for me to accept his flirtation when it is harmless on my part?

Answer 1

Ur germinating the seeds of divorce....

Answer 2

Flirtation is a dodgy thing...friendship is one thing...and I was married with a LOT of friends that were male.....set your boundaries...stick to them..you will be just fine. Sounds like you might be missing some affection....think really hard...would you want your spouse doing what you are doing??? Karma can be a real B*tch!

Blue

Answer 3

the e-mails should be work related only, and if they are ever more than that you need to stop them....or in my opinion your morals have something to be desired. anything you ever do can be looked at like this: would it tick you off if your husband were doing the things that you're doing OR would it tick him off if he knew...if the answer to either one of those is yes, it needs to stop.

Answer 4

Stop the flirting before it gets out of hand.  It may seem harmless to you, but this is how it starts.  You will begin to rationalize everything.  You are already beginning to rationalize this flirting and going out to lunch.  Who cares if it's with other people... you're intentions are to flirt (which is a no no).  Ask yourself how you would feel if your husband was flirting and going out to group lunches with someone he is attracted to.  Remember that affairs don't just happen.  They start with "harmless" emails.

Answer 5

It is harmless!  May even be doing your self esteem some good.  Stay grounded in your beliefs.

Answer 6

da mn right its wrong of you , youve already said your attracted to him , you invite him to luch , though with friends , you allow flirtatious emails from him and you respond to them and dont want them to end , sounds like its headed toward more in the future,

Answer 7

This is part of harmless flirting, which is restricted to emails, lunches and coffee at times. I don't think so there is any harm in this as long as you can draw the boundaries. And remember guys loose control very easily so it is you to have to keep the control in this friendship. As long as you can do that it is fine.  

Answer 8

Whatever dilemma you may have in life, and if or should you instinctively feel that this is perhaps incorrect...let whatever is 'wrong' stop with YOU. You have the answer within you already.

Answer 9

its funny cuz i sorta have this problem...i totally get u.. i tried to stop the flirting and not even talk to the person but seeing as how i work with him its a little tough... i finally decided for my own peace of mind i would stop flirting and just be friendly like i would be to anyone.... so even if he flirts i pretend i dont notice or follow along.. at this point 4u its harmless but that can easily change.. my guy tried to kiss me i ddnt let him and it was totally unexpected on my part..so my point is things can easily change; stop it b4 it gets serious