Is it wrong to date a 19 year old?...I'm 16?

Question

OK he's 19 and a sophomore in college. I'm 16 and a junior in HS. I remember seeing him in the halls when he was a senior and I was a freshman. Cute, athletic and really funny.

I don't think 19 is too old but some people do. I know the law and everything about the age of consent but I'm not a little girl and when I turn 17 in a couple months it's "legally" ok anyway.

I got formally introduced to him at this party by one of my friends that knows him really well. He really is a sweet guy, trust me I did background info before talking to him.

We got to talking and hanging out and I feel we might start dating because I know we both feel the chemistry. So...do you think 19 is too old because I'm 16?

Answer 1

That's the age difference between my boyfriend and I.

It's legal, so it's alright.

Answer 2

No 2-3 year difference once you over 16 isn't a big deal. If your parents don't mind it either than I think you're good.  

Answer 3

If you truly like him and are not just doing it for the "thrill" of doing something you know is wrong, then waiting a couple months till you are 17 won't be a problem. If he is really a fantastic guy and is worth your time, he will understand and date you then. If he is willing to break the law to date you, what makes you think he will not break the rules while dating you. If the idea of Jail time doesn't stop him, there is nothing that would stop him from breaking your heart. After all, what are you going to do him? Maybe cry? Yell a little? Not a big deal for a guy willing to risk jail time. So much for a background check if he doesn't get caught while breaking the law. If your feelings are taking over and are just too strong for you to control, you will risk it if you want of course but don't say no one ever told you "I told you so". I know I sound hard, you will probably want to skip right over my post because I don't think I am telling you "what you want to hear" but I am just speaking the hard truth. You do not have to get yourself in a situation where things could turn bad if you don't want to. This decision is yours, I hope you make the right one.

Answer 4

It's not wrong at all just make sure that you don't have s*x cuz it's illegal in many states. Keep on loving! :)

Answer 5

You know it is or else you would be out dating him now and not waiting for strangers to validate your guilty conscience by giving you permission to do what you already now is taboo for you.

Ask your parents.

DFF

Answer 6

no as long as u loved each other and the bond between you guys coexist then there is nothing wrong with dating someone 3 years older than u. Hope i helped u

Answer 7

Heck no....Im 41 and my wife is 25....It is a little strange that you googled him first that seems a little untrusting on your part to start out with. It seems fine too me I hope your parents are just as liberal. Good Luck

Answer 8

No, 19 is not too old.  Males are known to be less mature than females of the same age, I think the difference is 2 years)  So really, he's only 1 year older than you!  Go for it

Answer 9

I don't think it's "wrong" to date someone three years older than you as a general rule of thumb. Of course you should heed the laws and make sure that you are of the age of consent. But I do think that at your age a 3 year age gap can be significant.

Mostly, I think you should consider that he is in college and you are still in high school. You are both at different stages in your life and I've seen many friends go through this and these differences can make things hard. If he's in college, he has a level of independence that you don' t have since you still live at home. Even though you were introduced to him at a party, you will undoubtedly have different social circles to some degree. Your parents may not like the idea of you going to college parties.

He may be pressured by his other college friends to hang out and do college things and attending high school parties may not always be what he's looking for.

I truly think you two may be genuinely interested in a relationship but the reality of social situations at both your age groups can make it more difficult than you may anticipate. Some people tend to think 3 years is 3 years but I really believe that 3 years becomes less and less of a difference the older you get. By the time you're in college too it'll be less but then you run into the fact that you'll be 18 when he's 21. He'll want to go to bars and places you simply can't go too and he'll have to choose.

By the time you're both above 21 I think the age gap will be completely negligible but until then think good and hard about the differences in your lifestyles at this moment. I've seen quite a few friends shed tears over situations when their lives don't mesh with their boyfriends. But, also listen to your heart and make sure you're not just attracted to him because he's an older, cool, college guy :)  

Answer 10

If your looking for heartbreak, date him, but only if your parents approve.  s*x should be out of the question at your age.  Besides the fact that he could go to prison for five years, no contraception is 100%.  Don't forget STDs.  You and he will soon develop different interests.  College is very different than high school.  He'll be meeting girls is own age.  You are opening yourself up to a lot of misery.