Is it wrong to date a guy that's four years older than you?

Question

I'm a 14 year old girl, but I'm really mature for my age, and I really like this guy who's gonna be 18 in october. Is it wrong or what?

Answer 1

That's not wrong. You can date any guy you want just as long as, seeing as he's older it doesn't get sexual (as you said it's not). It's absolutly fine for you to date an 18 year old guy. Just be careful.

Answer 2

Yeah, it's very wrong...but it's his responsibility as the adult. Anyone 18 and over should NOT be dating someone more than 2 years their junior unless that person is also 18+.

Answer 3

Why are you asking for our opinions if you will disregard them just because they don't agree with yours? (Please, I think it's okay as long as it doesn't get sexual.)

To answer your question, a LITTLE GIRL should not be dating an ADULT. You can tell yourself it won't get sexual, but it probably will. And then he'll go to jail and it will be all your fault.

But I do think that the age gap would be okay if you were of legal age to. 18 and 22 is different then being 14 and 18. Your mindset is just to different.

Answer 4

older guys like s*x. young guys like s*x too. but your not allowed being that young. however he is being 18

so in other words, somone has to give...

don't turn into another teenage mum!

Answer 5

I'm currently dating a guy that's 4 1/2 years older then me. But i'm almost 24 and he's 28. It really depends on where you are in life. My sister is 14 and honestly, I would give her a good whippin if she was dating an 18 year old! You are at two totally different points in your life. He's about ready to leave high school and start his college life. You're just starting high school?? Trust me, college changes people, so even if you tried to start something... it probably wouldn't last past his high school career. Think about the long run (which i know is hard at your age, but trust me, it will save you a lot of heartache)!

Answer 6

...well..at 14 i dnt care how mature you are..i just think there should be other priorities set..and i think that an 18 yr old should realize that a 14 yr ld has other priorities set.

Answer 7

Okay.. you sound argumentative. So i'm just gonna get it straight.

1. An 17-18 year old should be able to get girls his own age and if he had, he would probably realize that a 14 year old girl is nothing compared to them.

2. It's illegal. And not only that but he is only with you for the s*x. I'm sorry but when you're 17-18, you wouldn't date a boy who's 14 would you ? because you will consider them "young"... well, guys only think about s*x when they get to 17-18 and unfortunately some do what this guy is doing and try to get them into bed. So he is trying to get you into bed. I know you don't want s*x and stuff, but trust me, he'll begin to ask for it. And how can you have a mature relationship without s*x? A 'mature relationship' is usually what adults describe as a sexual relationship. duh

Finally... to answer the titled question...

'is it wrong to date a guy that's four years older than you?' ....

no, it's not, but because of your age, yes it is.

Answer 8

Wrong maybe not but illegal in october yes.. if your parents don't approve he can get in deep trouble so be careful, don't get too ahead of yourself... good luck

Answer 9

NNOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's not wrong, but it becomes wrong when he asks for s*x, or something you don't want to do! But no it's not wrong, older boys are more mature.

Answer 10

Yes.

It doesn't matter how mature you think you are. If you were mature, you could see how wrong this really is.

4 years doesn't matter later on, but at your age it does. 99.9% of 18 year old boys who would "date" a 14 year old are hoping to capitalize on the older man mystique and bag you.

Not to mention it's illegal at 18 and if he's risking jail and a lifetime on the s*x offender list, he's not smart at all.

Answer 11

It could be. It really depends on the people involved. I mean 4 years doesn't seem like a big difference if you're older (like a 20 year old and a 24 year old) but at your age it is a big difference. These are the years when people mature and change the most so 18 yr olds are very different from 14 yr olds. In my opinion an 18 yr old shouldn't want to date a 14 year old. I think in the teen years 2 yrs. age difference is enough 4 is too much.

Answer 12

I think its ok as long as you know what you are doing. I think older guys look for girls your age for the wrong reasons. Just do what you wrote.

No s*x. But do keep in mind that some work out in age 4+ above, but more dont. I think you are young and should just have fun. The older he gets the more he can do that you cant so watch your heart. :)

Answer 13

Dont worry about what other people think. I believe that you can be mature at 14. I was right there with you. As long as your parents are ok with your decision then you should be just fine. It may take some time for them to get adjusted but as long as your happy things should be good.

Answer 14

its IlLEGAL.

Any normal 18 yr old guy would not date a 14 yr old.

Its just too much bad news in todays age.

He wants something- tight puss.

So I would stay away.

No matter how much :"he loves you":

Answer 15

Wrong according to who? How do you judge what is right or wrong? Do you realize that all of us on yahoo answers has different beliefs?

To me, I don't think it's wrong. But to some people, it is.

Answer 16

Yes but pretty much just because he could go to jail.  And he would have to tell his friends that he is dating a young girl.

Answer 17

Why would an 18 year old want a long distance relationship with a 14 year old?

That's not a relationship!

IT'S SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!

Answer 18

Yeah, that is quite an age gap but when I was 14 I dated someone that was 3 years older. I probably would have dated someone that was 4 years older too.

Adults certainly won't agree with it.

Answer 19

AT 14, no I don't find this appropriate at all, and what does an 18 year old want with a 14 year old?

A 14 year old should be worried about studies anyway, not boys

Answer 20

it's not wrong that you want to date him...but it's wrong that he wants to date you. i know you don't get it right now but when you're 18 look back and think if you would date at 14 year old boy. you'll be repulsed by the thought, trust me.

there is a HUGE difference between a 14 and 18 year old. when you're older 4 years won't be a big deal but right now it's too big of an age gap. would you date a 10 year old? of course not.

Answer 21

Depends on your state's laws, but I think that is is considered illegal if you're a minor and he's an adult.

Look up the rules about the age of consent in your state.

Answer 22

It is not wrong it is just difficult. Because you are still in school and he is leaving, your daily worlds will change.

I went through the same thing.

Answer 23

wait until you are 18 then you can do what you want without all these worries, and you will be a lot smarter by then too.

Answer 24

i honestly think that it is wrong at this age now if you where 18  and he was 22 it would be fine my husband is 13 years older than me but i was 24 when we got together please think about it and talk about it with your parents and see what they think about it  if they think its ok maybe you all could be at your house together and watch movies while your parents are at home  

Answer 25

I don't think a 14 yr old should date an 18 yr old. Even if you are very mature for your age it is still a big difference when you are a teenager. As you get older age seems less important but a 14 yr old girl and 18 yr old boy's thoughts on relationship and dating are completely different. My boyfriend is 5 years older than me. I am 22 and he is 27. Which means he was 18 when I was 13. And if he would have tried to date me then, I would have thought something was wrong with him. PLus that is considered rape and he could get into alot of trouble for dating you. Whether you say it is sexual or not he is 18 and people will assume. If it did become sexual and you are willing most states can still press charges on him until you turn 16. At least wait until then. I know the age difference is the same but 16 and 20 is still better than 14 and 18.

Answer 26

i was 15 dating a nineteen year old...

now im 18(soon 19) and he is 22 we are married. :)

Depends on the guy.

If he respects you.

Answer 27

I feel like as long as your honest and compatable it really doesn`t matter. After all age is only a number your maturity is what matters.

Answer 28

When you say 14-18 it sounds a huge age gap, but it is just the same as 21-25 which seems acceptable. But i have to say that if an 18 year old guy is interested in a 14yr old, it seems a little creepy. You are a child, he is an adult, who should know better.

Answer 29

ok in my opinion he might be different than that but imagine if you do go out and he lives 5 hours away you say who knows if he's gonna stay faithful to you just think about it before you do anything try nd wait a while for boys or find someone your age that u can keep an eye on plus the fact that he's gonna be legal nd ur underage might have something to do with it wat if u get in trouble or get him in trouble cuz they'll think he took advantage of u

Answer 30

4 years isn't that much of gap in general, but it can be if you are at different places in life...and 14 and 18 are quite different. Especially considering the HUGE risk he'd be taking by dating you. Even if you say it won't get sexual, your parents and law officials might not see it that way....  

Answer 31

if you are comfortable with it then there is nohing wrong with it pet. I met my partner when i was 17 and he was 42 we are still together after 3 years and now have two beautiful boys aged 23 months and 8 months. there is a 25 year age gap between me and my partner but we love each other dearly. once you are happy babe then go for it but also as you are only 14 do make sure to have a chat with your parents and make them aware of the situation just incase. i hope this guy is genuine. good luck pet!