Is it wrong to do this?

Question

I have been seeing this guy that is a bit older than me (around ten years, and yes I am g*y). Anyways, I have been forced to spend a lot of time around his friends and they have been sort of condescending from the first day I met them.

One of them referred to me as something along the lines of "a young, hot conquest that probably has a problem with monogamy" (Which is not true, I am a firm believer in monogamous relationships).

Anyways, on to my question...To impress these people I feel as though I have to change a lot of aspects of my personality. I already spend a lot of money on clothing, but I spent well over 6,000 dollars on an outfit for one night just to impress them and I am also thinking about dying my hair back to brunette to look more mature.

Is it right to change yourself for someone you care about, even if it is driven by that persons' friends?

Answer 1

When you start in any relationship, some things change without your really noticing them

In any new relationship, everyone adapts to some degree to accommodate their partner, but wholesale changes are not a good thing.

Why are you really doing this?  And why isn't your guy supporting you and putting a stop to this.  

He didnt fall for a brunette in a $6000 suit.  Change too much, and he wont want you.

Take a step back and have a serious conversation with yourself as to whether this relationship is going to work out.  From what you've said here, and I'm really sorry to say this, it sounds like your life and his may be too far apart

Answer 2

guy, don't be silly.  friends are of the one that you are with are important, yeah, but don't go all-out and ruin yourself and act a part just to get good with them.  it's either they like you, or they don't.  and if they don't like you, the best that you can do is try to get along.  as for the part with them saying that you're a young s**t - well, i just think that they're jealous and upset that your bf has you, and not them.  i mean, hey, if you were 10 years older and your friend got the cute, young guy, wouldn't you be jealous?  cracking jokes and being hurtful to you probably just helps them get over their own pain.  h**l, if they could get with you, they'd probably do so in a heartbeat (unless they aren't a bf-stealing *******).  gl, and be who you are - not a puppet who won't ever be able to give what is wanted of them - you can only try to gain them over with yourself.

Answer 3

everybody says that you should be yourself, but if yourself isnt enough for someone you truly love, it doesnt hurt to change for them, give it a shot! good luck! :D

Answer 4

No. Especially when you're g*y, you should express your g*y spirit.

Answer 5

Absolutely NOT, you don't need to impress his friends. If he cares about you he wouldn't want you to change either. If he is asking for these changes or agreeing to them so that you can impress his friends then he needs to be dumped ASAP.

Answer 6

I want you too consider this :

1 - if you change how you dress do you really think its going to change how they feel about you ... you are young *and if thats your picture* hot ... they're always going to judge you that way

2 - in their eyes they are going to think ... whose he trying to impress ... don't dress up just be yourself

I changed everything for my ex so that people would stop making comments about the age difference. In the end it was my ex who had the issue with the fact that he was older than me ... not me. Ignore it ... with time if you guys stay together the comments will stop  

Answer 7

NOT IF THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE .

Answer 8

NO-- would you want him to change to impress your friends??  NO-- and besides, if he tried he would probably end up making himself look like an *** rather than impress your friends, which is likely what you will do by trying to be someone that you are not.  Be yourself, its obviously that HE likes YOU for YOU, not for who his friends want you to be.  If he decides that he doesn't want to date you bc his friends don't approve, then he was never into you to begin with...if he really cares about you, he will accept you for you and will stand up for you in front of his friends.  

BE YOU, don't ever change who you are for ANYONE...if they expect you to, then they don't love you for who you are...and who wants that?

Answer 9

It's your choice to do it, right? There's nothing wrong about it. You just want to change for your boyfriend and prove to him and his friends that you're not like all the other young boys they've seen.

Answer 10

if they cant accept u for who u r then thats their problem. the guy your seeing is with you for who u r not for what u can be.