Is it wrong to get annoyed when someone is overly nice to you?

Question

Everyone at work is nice to me ant that is fine, but there is one guy that has to go further than that all the time. It is at the point where if he knows I need something he will go and get it and put it on my desk for when I return. Or, if I need to clean up my desk he does it for me while I am elsewhere. Also, he compliments me all the time, buys me small things like coffee, drinks, chocolate etc He tells me how he thinks we get along very well. Personally I think he is a little boring. He tries to be funny but he really isn't. I am polite at all times but yesterday it really got on my nerves. I feel bad about it as he is only being nice. What should I do?

Answer 1

I don't think it is wrong to get annoyed.  It sounds like he is going a bit too far.  If it was just that he heard you say you felt like a cup of coffee and then he went and made you one I would think it was sweet.  I wouldn't appreciate it if somebody cleaned up my desk for me.  I'm very protective about my personal space and my desk would fit into that category.  You need to politely let him know that it makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe tell him that you think he is a decent guy and you appreciate that he wants to do nice things for you but that it makes you uncomfortable and you'd appreciate it if he would just treat you like he treats everyone else.

It sounds like he's got a bit of a crush but it sounds like it's got to the point where it's just going a bit far.

Answer 2

yeah i have this problem with my friends and family my bf and they are overy nice to me and they pay too much attention that i really don't like it coz sometimes i need some space and i don't want any one to stick to me like a Gum...so that why am acting rude sometimes ..that's not nice but that works ...

Answer 3

i think he likes you but yeah i think it is annoying when they act too nice. i dont really like doormats

Answer 4

Is he really being nice...or does he have an ulterior motive? Sounds like the latter to me.  Maybe it's time to make him lay his cards on the table..and let him know that while you understand he wants to be nice, you don't want him doing all that stuff anymore.

Answer 5

You should not bash his being kind.. maybe he has hopes you may feel more for him.. but unless he tells you that.. be polite to him and just make it clear to him you appreciate him as a colleague and for the little politenesses he does for you.. otherwise it would be cruel but bash his hopes that you have other feelings for him.. by just saying.. I appreciate you a lot as a great work colleague.. we get along well at work.. but in my private life i have a partner..  thank you.. but your kindness is much appreciated... but you should not do too much for me otherwise the others will get envious.. you should also think about your own work. .. but you are kind I appreciate you as my colleague... and for your thoughtfulness... I would just tell him that.. maybe he will not be so thoughtful anymore after that .. because he is obviously smitten with you..  if he continues to be as polite he is a genuinely polite guy and that is something to appreciate.. then he does it really only without expecting anything in return...  x*x

Answer 6

I once knew a person (well, still do, they're not dead) who was all nicey nicey to peoples faces, and then waited until safe in the confines of the internet to slag them off and make up little lies. I so need to pull them up on it, but I just ow can't be bothered, it's like, "it's your life!"

But yes, overly nice people annoy me.

Answer 7

It seems to me like he's a bit of a flake. You could explain to him that he is nice, but you don't feel comfortable with him buying you things, cleaning your desk, etc. Tell him that you don't mind talking to him, but he doesn't need to do stuff for you. Be nice about it, but be firm.

Answer 8

In this particular case, I would be a tad ticked.  He probably has feelings for you, unfortunately, and it will be hard to tell him to back off without hurting his feelings.  I would start by telling him he doesn't have to go over the top for you.  If that doesn't work, you may have to be a bit firmer.  Tell him that you do not share his feelings, and from that point on do not- I repeat do not- accept any favors or gifts from him as you will only send him a mixed message.  If he tries any attempts at being funny from now on, tell him you are busy.