Is it wrong to go on a date while you are seperated?

Question

My husband and I have been separated for a week. My boss has been trying to set me up with this guy I work with indirectly. I think he is handsome but I don't know if it is okay to go on a date with him or not.

My husband won't talk to me about the situation we are in and is living with family. I don't know if it is okay to date or not.

Answer 1

well, if you're separated I'm assuming you are having a bad time of it.  do you plan on getting back with your husband or is it pretty much over? also, i think there may some divorce issues, like if you cheated on him.  think it over before you act rashly.

Answer 2

I would not.. it could not look good and he can use it against you in court.. I would keep your "nose clean" until you two figure out what you are going to do..  

Answer 3

Technically, I guess it is okay, but if you have any chance or want of reconciling with your husband, I wouldn't do it.

Best Wishes

Answer 4

h**l no. go out and do your thing. you obviously separated for a reason. it makes it easier TRUST ME. I started dating 3 weeks after my separation and don't regret a minute of it. You have to do it for yourself.  

Answer 5

It's only been a week... that's way to early to think bout dating other people. Cause if you do then he will think that you never did care bout him or loved him in the 1st place.

Answer my question =]

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 6

Yes.  (A week?)

If you are DEFINITELY going to divorce this guy, then I suppose it isn't that bad.  (I state that hesitantly.)

If you are not sure about getting a divorce, then going out with another guy will only make things worse.  I don't know if your spouse would want you back.  I wouldn't.

Also, consider first impressions as well.  Do you really think this new guy is going to respect a woman that is dating while separated after a week?  Hmmm.

It seems like you aren't sure and are therefore asking this question.  If you are a bit insecure, then don't do it.

Answer 7

NO NO NO AND FFS NO!!!

Answer 8

yes, its not okay. not until you find out where you stand

Answer 9

If your marriage has a chance to survive, then no do not date anyone.  I know that it gets lonely, but give your husband and yourself some time to get your heads straight.  You have only been separated for a week.  If you are considering dating this guy then maybe your marriage is already over and it is time for a divorce.

Answer 10

I was separated and made love to another woman and it felt great.

Answer 11

Don't you think this is one of those relative and subjective issues in life?

It's like - is it all right to dance about in a church or synagogue when everyone else is standing during liturgical moments?

Is it alright to let your dog run around the street unsupervised/unleashed?

Is it alright to walk into a someone's living room without removing your shoes, especially when it's been snowing heavily and they are nicely polished hardwood floors with beautiful rugs and carpets.

Is it alright to have an abortion?

Are g*y relationships alright?

These questions seem to depend on the traditions and peer pressure of your local community.

Of course, from the point of view of many religious people - most answers to these questions, including yours, would be NO.

Hey, you have not broken any laws (except for most cities and towns have ordinances against letting your dog loose), have you? And you don't live in Iran or Saudi Arabia, do you?

In school (American ones) school teachers tend to teach your children - is it appropriate? So, the concept nowadays seems to be - is it appropriate for the setting and history of the situation?

If your spouse had been very rough on you and you are thoroughly broken emotionally, it will be thoroughly difficult for anyone to criticise you for going on a date.

Therefore the answer that you seek is not - "is it wrong?"

The answer that you wish to know would be:

- Will I look bad?

- Would I be perceived as a sl*t?

- Will it affect my relationship with people around me?

- Will I loose friends or sleep over it?

- Will such a relationship last?

- Is this person the resurrection of your childhood fantasy and come what may? You are certain he is "the one and only one".

- Do you bear hopes of reuniting with your spouse? Or is it a completely dangerous situation?

May be, you should just give yourself a break from any entanglements till you have sorted yourself out. It shouldn't be about "is it wrong?" It should be about you. Are you safe. Emotionally, physically, future-wise, friends-wise, etc.

If you're just going for a drink or dinner and nothing more - I think it's highly advisable. In fact, you should spend a lot of time talking with people and get yourself refamiliarised with singlehood again and to help you sort yourself out, but not for any entanglements.

Answer 12

If you really want your marriage to work you can't date. Its quite possibel that your marraige is already over if you are thinking about dating after being separated for just a week. The separation is time for you to think over and reflect on your marriage and decide if you want to continue being a wife or rejoin singledom

Answer 13

Go ahead. You're not hurting anybody.

Answer 14

Personally, I wouldn't do it.....especially if you've only been separated for a week.  It's still early and you may or may not end up reconciling with your husband.  If you do get back together, it will make it uncomfortable for you knowing you have been out with another man.

Also, for whatever reasons you have separated, I'm sure you still have a lot of unresolved issues to contend with and resolved.  It's not fair to you or a prospective new man in your life who may end up really caring for you if you come to the new relationship with baggage from a recent separation.  If you truly believe your marriage is over, you need to allow youself time to heal and get refocused and make some plans for your life and your future.  A new man right now might only be a pleasant distraction for you at this stage and also distort your vision and your focous.

I think you need to give yourself more time.......there's no rush.....and I'm willing to bet if you jump into something new right now, it will never work out and just add more grief and stress and complications to your life.

You have to be completely finished, physically and emotionally with one relationship before you even consider a new one.

Answer 15

if you value your marriage, and think your going to eventually get back with your husband, its not a good idea to begin anything new.

Answer 16

you're thinking about dating someone after a week? i think you should take a little more time than that. you should'nt be starting any relationships until you are actually divorced, what happens if you two decide to get back together. that does happen sometimes.  

Answer 17

Wow, the dust hasn't had a chance to settle yet and you're considering a date?

I waited until I was 8 years into the separaton and just waiting on the finalization of my divorce......

Way too soon, sweetie...wait a while.

Answer 18

Yes you're still married.

Answer 19

If you are separated with the intention of getting a divorce, there's nothing wrong with going out and meeting people or going on a date with someone.  You might try asking your husband flat out if he wants a divorce or if you've already decided that you want one then tell him that.  After that, go out with this guy if you want.  But if you're not entirely convinced you want a divorce or if your husband happens to say he's not sure about getting a divorce then I'd hold off until you know for sure the marriage is over, just in case you guys a re able to work through things.

Answer 20

Until your divorce is finalized, you are still technically married so no, it's not a good idea right now.  It wouldn't be fair for the new guy.

Answer 21

Yes it's OK to go on a date,be cautious though ,a lot of

guys think women in your situation are easy pickings.

just take things slow and try to have fun in your new life.

Answer 22

To me it depends on whether you are separated pending a divorce, or whether one or the other needs "space" to sort things out in their own head.

In the first case, dating can lead to many complications that you may not want to have to deal with, should you two decide to continue in the marriage.

In the second, one week is really too soon. Give yourself more time to adjust to the new status before jumping into the dating pool straight away. Too many rebound relationships start that way and end in disaster.

Answer 23

no it is completely normal, i dont think theres anything wrong if there is no relationship with your husband anymore

Answer 24

no becuase technically you arent bound to anyone right now, right?

Answer 25

No its not okay to date you should really consider those vows that you said for richer or poorer,sickness or health and legally you are still bounded to him and the fact that it has only been a week is pathetic you would throw away your marriage for some guy who you think is handsome wow if anything you should be or your husband should be setting up a date with the counselor and get some freakin counseling i dont know what you two got going on but i would hope that you would exhaust all measure before you just throw everything away  

Answer 26

People do it.  It depends on what your values are.  I am of the notion that you shouldn't date people until your divorce is final.  The reason is that you need time to recover and grow as a person and dig into your mind to find yourself again.  You will being going through alot in the next while and it's not fair to someone new to bring them into this situation until you understand why you marriage broke up.  You need to love yourself again and find empowerment.  Secondly your divorce is not final.  You are still married the reason there is a seperation time is so that you can adjust to not being with this person.  It also stops people from making rash decisions about divorcing by giving them time to think.

Go out and have fun and meet people and explore yourself however do not commit to any person other then yourself.

Answer 27

You have been separated for a week. If your husband goes out with another girl right now is that ok with you? That should be the answer to this question. Your married and unless he said its over i want a divorce its still cheating lady!

Answer 28

Being separated a week is not long enough to start dating (in my opinion). I guess it would be OK if you and your spouse are sure to not get back together, if you’re giving each other space then hold off and see what happens. I’d wait at least 2 months but that’s just me.

Good luck in your choice.

Answer 29

Jessica,

I moved out of MY house on a Thursday, went on a date with a respondent of this question (we have been together for over a year) on that Friday. Shortly after that… she moved in with me. You need to look at the “whole” situation, is this something you want, or need.

-Me

Love ya QT_pie

Answer 30

I would not do it your still married,and besides he could used infidelity  against you in court.

Answer 31

How do you feel about it? Ask yourself if you feel ready to get into another relationship, are you two giving your relationship a break? Do you plan on making your separation permanent?