Is it wrong to have my step dad as my best man in my wedding

Question

My "step dad" just a word to me, is only 9 years older than me and is my best friend. We hang out together, hunt, fish, and lots of other stuff but not as father son but as buds. I love my real dad very much and asked him to wear a matching tux as the wedding party and the father of the bride. My "step dad" really didn't raise me, I was about 16 when he entered my life. Things between us have always been like best friends or brothers ever since. I just found out that my dad is hurt by this and very upset. Am I wrong in wanting my best friend who also happends to be my "step dad" to be my best man? Is it wrong to have the fathers of the bride and groom were tux's that match the wedding party or should they be different? Please help what do I do ??????

Answer 1

understandably, your father is upset, but your stepdad seems like more of a friend to you and not a father. if your father understands that, it might be easier to deal with. and don't forget it's YOUR wedding. it's your day to do whatever you want. don't forget yourself by trying to make everyone else happy. I do commend you for your concern and your fiancee is a lucky lady!

Answer 2

your dad should understand and be fine with it           if hes your bestfriend there is nothing wrong with it

Answer 3

Since you guys are pals, I dont find anything wrong with having your stepdad as your best man.

Answer 4

I think I would try to explain to your Dad the way you really feel about your 'step' and make him understand that you don't mean it as a slap in the face to him. Have you thought about having your parents walk you in to church, something that will still give him an 'honor' in your wedding?

As for the tuxes, the way we usually do it in my area is that if the wedding party is wearing a color coordinated vest/tie to the maids, then the Father's are in either black vest and ties or silver gray. Otherwise the rest of the tuxes match, but this sets them off as someone of honor, but not a member of the 'party'.

Good Luck and Congratulations.

Answer 5

It's not wrong for wanting him to stand up as your best man. I think your dad is probably looking at it from a different perspective. You see him as a best friend - but your dad sees him as a "step dad."

Maybe you could try to explain to him that you aren't choosing this person because he is your step dad, you are choosing him because he is your close friend.

As for the tux's - it is perfectly okay for the father of the bride and  groom to wear the same tux's as the bridal party. I think it looks nice.