Is it wrong to make people pay for their own meals?

Question

My birthday is coming up soon and I was going to have a group of about 17 girls go out to dinner.

It wouldn't be a fancy dinner maybe olive garden or applebee's something not overly expensive. After dinner we'd go and hang out at one of my friends' houses. Is it wrong for me to have them pay for their own meals? The average meal is from 8 to 9 dollars so I don't think it is overly expensive. It's just that there is no way I can afford to pay for that many people plus special drinks(soda,etc.) and then include a tip. Should I just offer to pay for the drinks? or Offer to pay for maybe 5 dollars or so of their meal?

I have talked to 2 of my friends that are going and they don't think that it'd be a huge deal to make other people pay for their own meal. By the way, most of my friends don't have jobs since we're still in highschool.

So what do you all think, is it rude for me to ask them to pay for at least part of it and still expect a gift?

Answer 1

just let them know before hand that it is at their own expence! and your still in highschool so you wont be drinking alcohol so there is no need to pay for there sodas,  it would be senceless. so yea they should understand if they are your friends.

Answer 2

just pay an amount and the rest spilt the bill.

Answer 3

My suggestion would be to ask that they pay for their own meals and have them collect money to pay for your meal and let that serve as their gift to you.

Answer 4

i don't think it's rude, just make sure people realize that you're asking them to join you for dinner rather than throwing an actual party, which implies that everything is already paid for.  just make sure they know that they need to pick up their own food costs beforehand, and they probably won't mind.

if you feel uncomfortable about it, then just add "presents optional" so that nobody feels obligated to spend more than is comfortable on both dinner *and* a gift.

Answer 5

Here's what I would say. "I would like you to come to dinner with me. If I could, I would pay for your way, but since I can't, my present is you coming along with me. If you want to get me something else, that's cool, but I really want to have some time with my friends." That way everybody knows that they will have to pay their own way, and nobody feels obligated to get you presents. If they are really your friends, they should by OK with it. High School friends can last a lifetime if they are treated right.

Answer 6

I'd been to parties like these before, and my friend does make us pay for the meal and we give her gifts. I think it's be nice if you'd pay for their meals because it is your birthday. However, 17 people is alot. I would make them pay. There your friends; They'd understand. It's only 8$ anyways .

Answer 7

not unless they offer.

Answer 8

thats not ridiculous.  i wouldnt be suprised if they didnt allow you to pay a cent! but your deffinatly incorrect about the average cost.  applebees average is about $11 and olive garden is $15   and both is not including meat products!

Answer 9

depened on how much they order

just slip the bill

Answer 10

I just did the same thing for my birthday, and I only had 8 people and they all paid for their own meals. It wasn't a big deal and no one seemed upset. You could tell everyone that they don't need to get you a gift, if that would make you feel better.

Answer 11

I dont think thats rude if u dont pay for them. If they cant afford it then they should get somethin cheaper, or atleast if ur feeling generous pay for part of it like 5 bucks for everybody, but paying for the whole thing is just crazy, tell them u cant afford to pay for everybody but u can help out since it is ur b day

Answer 12

every one should pay for their on meal