Is it wrong to send my daughter to bed w/no dinner

Question

i told her 4 hours ago i would make her dinner when she cleaned her room. she will not clean her room. she is 6

Answer 1

its good for her so she can understand that if she doesnt do something that she is supposed to do she will not get rewarded (so to speak)

then latter on she will get even more spoiled

and will lose her repect for u and will do what ever she wants to do

and eventually will become some sort of a rebel and instead of her parents dominating her she will dominate you!

Answer 2

yeah, you shouldnt send her to bed with no dinner if shes only 6. But try and bribe her and say she will get a treat if she does.I know people say you shouldnt bribe your children, but hay that say you should let your kids eat whatever they want and let them turn into great big baloons..

Answer 3

you shouldnt of done that you should of just nelt down to her ans said to her daddy is going to be really upset if u arnt going to clean your room and then ask her weva she wonts you to feel upset and normally she should say no because children most of the time dont like to see there parents upset

Answer 4

I dont think so. I have a 4 year old, and she knows what is right and wrong. You need to stand her ground. Like the person said above, she wont starve... but do try to convince her to get her room cleaned. Say something along the lines of... " Lets see how fast you can put your clothes away... If you put them away in 5 minutes or less, you get one cookie after dinner..." and so on and so forth. Stand your ground, you are the parent and she is the child

Answer 5

To me that is like saying: "You're grounded FOREVER if you don't..."--it may seem like the ultimate threat and therefore the obvious solution, but then you're stuck with the consequences and what do you do to 'top' that threat?!  Starve the kid?!  NO!!  

I suggest that you make CERTAIN that she knows EXACTLY what you mean by "clean up your room"!  Rather than showing your anger and frustration, say something like: "You're having more trouble with this than I thought, now how/where should we start?"  Try to get her to cooperate by using praise and appreciation (you don't want to have a

child who seeks 'negative attention' by seeing if she can be more stubborn than you; make it worth her while!).  

If she knows what you expect of her and is just being defiant and strong willed, then I, as a parent, would tell her that she can only have a peanut butter sandwich & piece of fruit or something she's not crazy about.  Then tackle the issue tomorrow!  4 hours is long enough!  

Tomorrow I would make the effort to have something that she REALLY likes for dinner and then if she doesn't clean up her room (with your guidance, if needed), then she misses out on the yummy stuff and gets a plain old sandwich again.

Try not to make this too big of a war, though!  You are going to want to be able to talk easily with her when she is a TEEN-AGER and that relationship starts now!  Hang in there!!  You WILL SURVIVE!!

Answer 6

Lets see what would you do if someone said oh if you don't make your bed or take out the trash or wash the laundry etc.YOU CAN"T EAT are you flipping retarded.That is straight up child abuse.And I tell you what I wish I had a parent like you because if you would not fix me dinner one day you are going to be old and you know what you are going to have a S****y diaper and I hope they let you lie in it you should feel ashamed of your self

Answer 7

yes, it's wrong.  You don't have to give her her favorite food or a big dinner, but she needs something in her tummy.  If you give her something nice she'll rub it in your face, so give her something bland like two pieces of bread with a piece of cheese in the middle and a glass of milk for example and NEXT time do not attach a meal to behavior.  Say for example I'm going to go into your room and everything that is not put away is going in a bag, down int he basement for a week, set a timer to make it realistic for her.  When the timer goes off, say 30 min later.  Grab a lawn size trash bag, sweep her room of all the c**p left out and take it away.  If you are really mad, take something away that was put away out of spite to make yourself feel better, just say oops, that's what happens when you don't put your stuff away.  Daddy gets a little crazy!

Answer 8

I have used this method effectively before...however I put a spin on it...at 8pm I called out for a pizza...  the pizza arrived at 8:30 and miracles do happen ...the room was clean by 9.

A few years later when I got tired of saying "clean your room" I went in with glad bags and threw away everything that was not put up correctly.

Answer 9

skipping a dinner wont hurt her any , it takes like 30 days to starve to death , if you didnt let her have water that would be neglect , i think discipline is good and maybe your child will be a respectable person in the future because of your rules and guidance ...

im surprised most of the answerers say feed her , dont they realise you can go without food for a day easily , i bet they have some fat azz kids

Answer 10

Like the top person said your terrible and that is neglect she will be up all night of hunger pain.

As a parent or sibling you should help her and that is neglect no child should be left hungry you are left with a responsibility to take care of her.

Just give her some food and just take her fun from going outside playing games or anything that is fun.

Answer 11

I do agree that withholding food is not an option, however I totally understand your frustration.

My daughter is 5, almost 6....we go through the room cleaning issue with her a lot too.  The one thing my husband did that really worked was he gave her an alotted amount of time (like half an hour I think) and set a timer in her room for that amount of time.  Then when the timer went off, he went into her room with a large bag, and anything that was still out, he took away.  Then to earn her stuff back, she had to keep her room clean.  Each day her room was clean she earned more of it back.  

The only problem, is that if you tell her this, or you do it more than once, she will pick up the stuff she likes first then leave stuff she doesn't care about.  So the way around this is to also take something that is very important to her.  Then make that be the LAST thing she gets back.

Good luck!

Answer 12

No. food is not a reward or a punishment.

I know it sounds strange, and I'm sure bunches of us out there were sent off to bed without our supper, but those that are in the know, say this can lead to strange food behaviours, such as hoarding, etc.

It's better to sit her down for a time out, and then back tot he cleaning the room. It also helps a bit, if instead of saying clean your room, you try to break it down into small "bites". Try starting with make your bed, or pick up your dolls, and then tell her that you appreciate what a great job she did, and ask her to do another small task.

Answer 13

she might overreact and she could potentially be mad at you for a long time. feed her anyways... a growing child needs to eat.  find another way to discipline her.. .like taking away a toy

*instead.. you could also help her clean her room... and then giver her, her dinner after its done.

hope it helps!

Answer 14

ah yes, i remember this punishment.

but dont do it.

neglecting your child is no way to teach her a lesson.

instead, don't give her dessert for a week or take her stuffed animals away.

take a priveledge away that will hit her right in the gut. and it isn't that hard to do with a 6 year old.

Answer 15

She'll be mad and overreact, but no. Do what you feel is right, maybe offer to help her organize her things so that she knows what you want cleaned up. Most six year olds even need help picking out to wear that day, let alone know how to properly dust shelves, etc.

Answer 16

Just give her a glass of milk and  pb and j sandwich and send her to bed early because of her age i think you should not allow her to go hungry, i am also not a fan of telling your child one punishment and not following through it teaches them to not trust what you say. she probably figured mom/dad wont not feed me so i'll just piddle around and not clean my room. next ime what i would do is tell her a dicipline you would want to do because you are obviously uncomfortable sending her to bed w/o dinner because youare asking the quesion.

In the long run it's not the advice we give it's what your daughters response will be if this would be a one time deal follow thru with it, if it's going to be a nighty battle well you may want to think twice.

Answer 17

I'm not bashing u but I do have to say I agree with all these people who say it is wrong... I remember this happening to me when I was a child and it was SO sad... it would brake my heart every time... I have a 5 year old and when I say clean ur room I don't let her come out till shes make some sort of an effort... I sometimes go and help her and she returns the fav. like helping me with dishes and cleaning the living room. I wish u the best but please feed her before u send to to her room!

Answer 18

At six, and this much power. Man I would say that you guys could use help from Super Nanny.

At six, (apparently you don't believe in spanking a rebellious child) so let's look at other options. Maybe she has too much stuff in her room. So let us remove everything that is not a necessity and then add stuff if we can keep it neat.

On the other side of the same coin, what do you consider clean? At 6, don't expect a "military inspection" kind of clean.

To answer your question, I would not say it would be wrong to send her to bed without dinner, I would just say that you should never promise to do something and don't follow through with your promises. Think about what you are truly willing to do before you (and you should never) threaten your child. If that is what you said would be the consequences, one missed meal will not kill her.

A parenting class would not hurt for you to help you determine what are some age appropriate, natural consequences that will help you win her respect. Discipline should be for correction and not punishment.

The old fashion swat on the leg sent them flying into the room and completing what you said to do, and that is why grandma did it, but she explained that following the instructions of the one who fed, clothed and took care of you was never optional.  

Answer 19

Sure is wrong to send your daughter to bed without dinner. Take favorite toy away or something. Not her dinner.

Answer 20

Personnaly I think its wrong to send your kid to bed with no dinner. Making them go hungry because of misbehaving is awful. My parents NEVER did that, and they would never dare to. If you cant think of any other punishment to give her except not feeding her, then something is wrong here? If she absolutely refuses to eat, and throws her food on the floor, then thats a different story. Send her to her room or another room that has no toys and tell her that when she is ready to be a big girl, not a whiny baby, she can come back and apologise to you and finish her dinner. That way you are saying that throwing her food is inacceptable, but you are telling her you will forgive and forget and let her finish if she wishes. Give her no dessert. Dessert is not mandatory, it's a treat. She should earn it, don't give it to her to shut her up. And what is all this I hear about she will have to earn it and take away dinner and stuff? Food isnt a privelige! It's a way to survive! She's a growing girl who needs her food for gods sakes! My parents never made me or my sister skip a meal, and were both fine, respectful kids! I'm sorry, if not feeding your kid is the only way of punishment you can go, then dont bother having kids at all. Give her to some parents who actually CARE about her and FEED her! Don't be lazy, not feeding a kid is lazy and disrespectful!

Answer 21

I have a daughter who is 6.. i ask her to clean her room sometimes she does and sometimes she doesnt.. but I never would send her to bed without dinner.. Think of it this way.. if you were 6 and denied food for not cleaning your room. how would you feel..

Why dont you talk to her nicely, helping her clean her room explaining to her that this is part of a daily routine that has to be done or certain priveledges will be taken away, ie, television, games, but dont ever deny your child food.. you dont want her to clean her room in fear of not being fed.. do you know what that would do to a child down the road..? That would mess them up.. even tho you may think it wont.. kids retain alot, their brains are growing so they are like sponges

Do you really want your daughter telling people that you do this to her.. its a great way of having child services knocking on your door.. and believe me.. wether it was just one time or a few times.. they dont brush this stuff off..

You should apologize to her for what you did.. even tho she is 6 and you may not think that she would understand.. you would be highly suprised. You seriously need to make it up to her so that her fears of you not feeding her will go away..

If I was 6 and your kid.. i would seriously call you a douche lol

Answer 22

She's 6- she isn't going to starve to death here. You might want to break the room cleaning into smaller chunks for her, though. I'm getting the impression she's a bit on the stubborn side, and might push things until her blood sugar starts to dip and then she may not be physically able to tackle the whole room at once...in which case letting her go all night would do nothing to get her to clean her room and would just add more frustration for you. Maybe let her know that she can have a substantial, healthy snack (ie cheese and crackers with fruit and milk) after she's worked for 30 mins, or picked up all the dirty laundry off the floor, but no dinner or fun favorite foods until the bedroom is reasonable.      

Answer 23

If this is a serious question, then I say No. My 6 year old daughter has been challenging me a lot lately and really testing me to see if I will stick to my ultimatums. She is old enough to clean her room, although it would go much smoother if you helped her. She won't physically suffer from going to bed with no dinner one time. In the future, however I would refrain from using food as a reward or punishment.  

Answer 24

I am of the opinion that occasionally going to bed without supper is fine (as long as it remains a RARE occurrence). The problem is if this behavior escalates --you cannot very well send your daughter to bed with no food for weeks, if she continues to refuse to clean!  So for this case, I suggest a different punishment (confiscating a toy/privilege) that can be sustained.  

Answer 25

While I don't think sending her to bed will obviously do her any harm, I'm not so sure it'll induce her to clean her room either. Rather than making basic food meals a reward or punishment, I'd suggest maybe punishing her with taking away her favorite toys, tv shows, or being able to go out side (to the park or friends house). Rewards such as seeing a special movie, going out for a special treat, computer time w/ you or a special game/trip w/ you for keeping her room clean over a period of time. Maybe consider making a chore chart. Giving her something to work towards and something for her to refer to as to her responsiblities and goals (also talk up the whole everyone has family responsibilities that are theirs to accomplish). I think making this a positive experience with an understanding of why it's important and a sense of family duty is something that will last longer than punishments that are used for everything she does wrong.

Answer 26

I'm not implying that you are a bad parent, because unless you're REALLY screwed up (which i doubt) i dont call many people bad parents.   But considering that your daughter is only 6, i would think that letting her go to bed hungry is a bad decision.  Since she is six, she doesn't really have good judgment, (well she does, but not like a 13 year old or something) and at such a young age it might send her the wrong message.  good luck!

Answer 27

There's nothing wrong with that really. You are standing your ground, and the way I see it is if she were hungry enough she would clean her room. If you give in, she will think she doesn't have to listen to you because she will ultimately get her own way by being stubborn.

Be strong! You are the parent;)

Answer 28

She is testing you to see if you will keep your word. If you told her that then you have to stick with it or she will never believe you again. She will clean her room when she realizes you are serious. She isn't going to starve to death. My guess is that she will clean it by the time you wake up tomorrow morning and she will be ready for a huge breakfast :)

I have 7 children all between the ages of 12 to just about 18. I was always feeling sorry for them when they were little and giving in to them. It took me a long time to understand that I was not helping them and that I was actually hurting them. Now that they realize I say what I mean and I mean what I say there is a lot less arguing with them. If I tell them that they aren't leaving the house until their room is clean they know that I am not going to argue with them about it and they know they are not walking out the door until it's done. Good luck and stick to your guns. Your daughter will be a better person for it.  

Answer 29

children who go to bed hungry do not sleep as well.  in the morning you will pay for discipline.  i am not saying you shouldn't discipline, but withholding food is not a good one.  she is only 6, and doesn't yet have a firm grasp on cause and effect.  try holding something back that will only make her want to clean it.  if she is not hungry, telling her you will feed her when she is done will not motivate her.  rather motivate her through a treat or a special movie or something.  children move for positive attention

Answer 30

she is only 6. yes its wrong, at least give her something to eat. try to find some other form of discipline for her especially one that wont get into trouble with cps. parenting is a skill, nobody is perfect, but if you have to think if this is wrong, then most likely it is. good luck.

Answer 31

6 is frankly a bit young for this punishment, it's also a bit young for the assignment to clean her room.  It is reasonable for her to help YOU clean the room...but we are not born knowing how to clean.

Rather than the assignment of "clean the room" I suggest something more specific like "put all the toys in the toybox" and put all the clothes in the hamper".

It will be much more fun for you both if you figure out how to make a game of cleaning her room...the habits and attitudes she is learning from you now will shape her attitude and her habits of the future.  Parents have an overwhelmingly awsome resonsibility...