Is it wrong to snoop inside your childs personal belongings?

Question

You know even if you don't have a reason to. Would you do it/are you doing it?

Would you check their myspace accounts, allow them to have one, meet all the parents of their friends?

*Fact you're not the only voice & influence that your child has so you have to be the best one

Answer 1

yes you hav to trust your children if they find out that your going through their things they will loose confidence not only in their parents but in them selfs

Answer 2

No, it is not wrong.   A child's right to privacy is balanced against a parent's responsibility to know where the child is, what he is doing, and to keep him safe.  In return for a certain amount of freedom, when parents allow children to leave their supervision, children give up a certain amount of privacy, so that parents can detect when something unsafe is going on when they are not around.

This can be difficult for children to understand while they are still children.   But, many adults have looked back and felt grateful that they had such a nosy interering parent.  

Parents today know that cihldren today may be at risk in the most unlikely places.   Teachers, priests, bus drivers, and persons representing themselves to be children on the internet, may all, in fact, be predators stalking our children.  A seemingly charming best friend might actually be an advocate for the coolest new pasttime, sniffing nail polish drying spray.    Sometimes, the difference between life and death is a nosy parent who happened to find that one little clue.

It is actually good life training, because cops and bosses and schoolteachers are equally nosy, and it is important to learn at a young age, that there are some things you should not leave lying around.

Answer 3

I am 12 and i don't like it but my mother occasionaly snoops through my stuff i don't realy have anything that i would hate her finding except a few old pictures of me that she could make me good with or she would give to my gf lol. You should know weather or not to snoop in ur kid's stuff if they never/sometimes listen to you then you should but if you are very close and can talk about anything together you might not have to. You should build and enviroment with your kid's where you tell them everyhting and they tell you everything around 10 you should give them "The Talk" it can be embaressing for kids (i would know) but you have to get to a point where it isn't embaressing and they aren't avoiding you only then you shouldn't snoop through their stuff. Talk to them about being safe online not giving away information and even their age as people can track through IP addresses online make sure they know aobut(and you do a little research) the safety features of myspace. Good luck you'll prob need it

Answer 4

I have 5 children

I think if you need to snoop to find out then you have some communication issues with your child.

I am a very easy going, nonm judegemental mother who expects alot but places alot of trust in my children to make good healthy decisions.

I have never had a doubt that they would do anything dangerous to themselves or others.

However, there have been times where i have (out of curiosity) looked at their email or diary.  It has made me feel bad for doing so and I have never found out anything I didnt already know.

My children have told me about s*x issues, talked about drugs and boyfriends/girlfriends and have always been upfront with everything.

I think starting really early with your children, talking to them about their feelings without judging them, helping them to find the right answers to their problems and not shoving your opinioin down their throats has allowed me to stay in touch with my children.

However, I always meet the parents of their friends before they have sleepovers - that is just common sense.

I let my kids have myspace etc but with strict conditions about maintaining their privacy.  They also have to provide me with all their passwords to their email etc just in case but I dont go checking.  the fact that the are happy to provide me with their passwords is good enough for me to feel reassured.

When my eldest turned around 17-18 I knew that I didnt have to check up on her.  

Keep communication open...dont be judgemental..help them learn to make healthy decisions...support them rather than criticise them....try to see things from their point of view rather than just your own...try not to act shocked  (hard sometimes)...if they do tell you something you dont want to hear kept yourself under control.

Answer 5

Snooping implies being sneaky....never be sneaky with a kid.  Be upfront and direct.  Do so with tact and diplomacy.  Privacy and love also count big.

Answer 6

In general, no. But yes, children deserve to have some privacy. If you know what is going on with your children then it's almost not necessary to snoop. Watch for behavior and attitude changes. Changes in eating or drinking. Talk to your child. Play with them. Say no when it's appropriate. Reward and discipline them. Explain why. Let your children know what your expectations are. Respect them by letting them know what is going on. Think about what you do. If you need a break then tell your kids that you need a break for a moment. Kids are smart and do understand but you need to lay down the rules. Let them know. Be firm. Show them you care. Show them that you are paying attention.

I'm getting this from parents I see that have great kids in terms of few problems and no major problems. It's hard work. These parents are hard working. They know it's not easy. They are disciplined enough and care enough.

edit: If you know your kids and pay attention then you should know or have an idea or suspicion. Tell your kids your attitude about that and why. Scare them straight. Have them watch Baby Borrowers.  Tell them if they get pregnant then their life will be over because it won't just be about them anymore. They will have to put their dreams and aspirations on hold.

Answer 7

If my kids had a my space, yes, I would definitely be checking it.  It would be for their safety, not because I am trying to catch them doing something wrong.

As far as snooping in their room for things, I would do it if I had reason to believe he was doing something dangerous or wrong.  

I do have two teenagers and I have never looked through their room because they have given me no reason to.  I don't think they are hiding anything form me that could hurt them, so I don't do it.

But I wouldn't hesitate to do it if their safety was at stake.

Again...it's all about their safety.

And by the way, when I was a teenager, I also said, 'I will never go through my kids stuff.  That is so wrong."  I have since grown up and realized that parenting is more than being your child's best friend.

Answer 8

I have three daughters.

I will snoop/look through their things and make sure i know where they are/who their friends are/what they do/where they go...etc

I dont care if its invasion of privacy or if they are angry at me....their safety means more to me than whether they are pissed off.

I dont let them have Facebook, their own secret accounts or anything which I dont know....because there is no need.  They need not have any secrets, because I am here and they have each other.

I know it is harsh, but these are my kids and are very important to me.  

My parents were more harsh, i wasnt allowed out until I was 18, I wasnt allowed phones/contact after school time, I wasnt allowed out of the country until I got married....i was very sheltered, but if my kids love me even a fraction as much as i adore my parents today, then I will think that plentiful.

Answer 9

i believe that if a mother has a feeling that he/she is doing something wrong then it is ok. and yes i would check thier myspace because of all of the preditors online. you dont need something like that going on aroung you child. and it really depends on how old they are too. if they are a teenager then i feel that you should give them thier privacy because we all go through changes and would like to have things just to ourself. if you know what i mean. but you need to sit down with your child and talk to them because that is the best way to find out. because if they find out that you are going through thier stuff they are going to get very upset. and thats the last thing that you want for your child. i hope that i have helped you and good luck

Answer 10

i think it is wrong to snoop.  I think that you should, however, speak to your child about personal things and ask them questions...pry their mind and see their responses.  I would want to know their friends parents before they are able to visit, would probably limit their use of the internet and tv watching or atleast screen it prior to them using it. I'd make sure they are old enough  (atleast 15) to have a myspace account.  I would just basically want my kid to confide in me and tell them listen i want to know what you think about this, and that, and if your friends are doing drugs, etc. and talk to them as a friend.

Answer 11

I don't think it's wrong. My parents snooped through my things. I didn't appreciate then, but I do now. Hey, they live in YOUR house, under YOUR roof, you should know what goes in your house and in your child's life.

Look at those kids that go and shoot up schools. 95% of the time the parents of those kids were clueless on that child's behavior and even more clueless on the fact that the kid was making bombs and hording guns in their own basement.

We need more parents like you. Parents who try to stay involved in their kid's lives.

Answer 12

My space.......definately...although I do not allow my daughter, who is almost 14 to have one.

I know all the parents of her friends. I would not have it any other way.

Diary or journal.......never......it was the only thing in which I allowed them total privacy (other than the bathroom lol)

You can not stop them from having s*x if that is what they are going to do. Hopefully you will have an open enough relationship with them that when the time comes they will confide in you. If they fear your reaction, they will never talk to you about anything. Fear and respect are two entirely different things.

Answer 13

I don't have children but a few years ago I was seriously depressed. My mom looked though my things and found out what I was writing in my dairy. She saved me. If it wasn't for her I might not be here right now.

I think it is a good idea to check your snoop through your child's things. It could save them, the world is a scary place.

Answer 14

i would HATE if my parents did that stuff to me and im NEVER gonna do that to my kids when i have kids... i think parents have no right to look through their kids' stuff

Answer 15

I don't think it's okay to snoop but it is my responsability as a parent to check up on my child. I see nothing wrong with monitoring what they do on the computer. Someone with nothing to hide, hides nothing (as Dr. Phil would say). I wouldn't go in and read everything, that would be snooping. There is a difference between snooping and checking up on them. Snooping implies that you are doing it behind their back...my kids know that I check up on them so I don't consider it snooping.

If I felt my child was in danger or heading down the wrong path then I would have no problem "snooping" to keep them safe. I think if a parent does check up on their kids then there is less chance of them heading down the wrong path to begin with.