Is it wrong to want this?

Question

I'm fourteen years old, and I'm already pretty sure of my life plan. I want to move to Indiana, take a year off, and then go to Indiana University in Bloomington. Not to unusual, but I also want to be a single parent. I want to have one child after I get my Masters in Education, and I want to raise that child by myself. I absolutely do not want to get married. But I'm wondering, is it wrong to want these things and be so sure of them?

Answer 1

No, it isn't wrong at all.

Don't listen to the people that say it is wrong for the child. A child can have a great childhood and be raised properly if they only have one parent - the parent will just have to work a bit harder.

Answer 2

no  and i'm glad u want to be a indepent woman.

Answer 3

It is wrong for your future child. Don't your child deserve a mother and a father? And if you happen to have a baby the father has rights to the child. Unless you go to a sperm bank. Your young, you'll change your mind.

Answer 4

i guess it's not wrong... seems an unusual goal but i see nothing wrong with having a goal so long as you are realistic about it, being a single parent at any age can be hard, but at least you don't want a child right now... and though i am sure you doubt this, you could always change you mind

Answer 5

It's not wrong, but do you realize how hard it is to raise a child, especially alone?

And secondly, are you planning on adopting? Not many parents just give up their rights to their children; if you have a child with someone, expect to have to fight for them. (which by the way, isn't healthy for the child; believe me, I know..)

Answer 6

It is great to have goals, but have you really thought them through. Why take a year off. Statisics have shown that if you do not go straight into college after high school you are more likely not to go. Life takes over and it gets put off for another sememester, then another until you are in your 30's with kids and getting them ready to start college themselves.

As far as being a single mother, why choose to do that. So many single mothers out there are struggling not because they chose to be single parents but because that is the hand life dealt them. At 14 I can see you not wanting to get married but what if you have closed that idea off completely and your Mr. Right shows up and you let him go? In 10 years you may want marriage and a family. Think about the child. I know a mom can do anything that a dad can do, no matter how hard you try you cannot fill the void that being fatherless leaves.

Maybe, you have been the child of a single mother and no daddy in the picture and it probably hurts and that is why you are making the plan to never even involve a dad, but there are good ones out there. Maybe you will find him and maybe you won't but don't shut the idea out completely.

Make plans but leave room to be spontanious. I have always told my kids that no matter what kind of life you had as a child make sure when you have kids that you give them a better life than you had.  I was an abused child and didn't see my dad for years because my mom hid me from him(we moved alot), but I have made sure that my kids atleast try to have a relationship with their dad(even when he wasn't trying).

Don't worry so much about what the future will bring. Enjoy these teen years.

Answer 7

its not wrong at all

but the way you think changes throughout the years

Answer 8

you were doing good until the baby part come on think again

Answer 9

I am a single mother,, come visit me for a while and you will change your mind. FAST.  Be a single mother and that degree will do you no good unless it is in diaper changing.  Single parenting is HARD work.  I didn't choose it, I was left to raise my kids and IT is not easy work.  WHy would you want to plan this.  Your only 14.

Answer 10

It's not wrong that you have your life planned out. Although, are you sure you wanna be a single parent? How will you know you're only gonna have 1 kid? How do you know the father isn't gonna want custody?~

Answer 11

no it's not wrong.

but you're only fourteen. i mean, i'm fourteen too. but things change. and you can't be sure that you'll feel that way forever.

Answer 12

oh honey, believe me, what you think you want now, is not going to be what you want as an adult.  being a parent w/ a husband raising kids is difficult, not alone to do it all yourself.  that means doing EVERYTHING by your self. about school, i think its a wonderful idea you have college in mind, but if i had to do it all over, go straight after high school, because chances are, if you don't, you probably never will.

good luck

Answer 13

No... Everyone has there own plans.

And your sure right now..

You'll change your mind another day.

Answer 14

Only the single parent part.  You'll change your mind as you get older and realize just how hard it is raising a child on your own.  You'll learn a lot about kids and the importance of two parents when you are in college studying about kids.

Answer 15

Absolutely not.  I mean, your thinking at age 14 might change when you get older, but in terms of being sure of what you want, there's nothing wrong with that.  Again, you may change your mind, but it's your life.

Answer 16

It's probably not the best idea to decide things like that at such a young age.  You change a lot as you get older, especially in your 20's.  I used to always say I never wanted kids...EVER.  I did not like kids.  When I met the man who is now my husband I even told him I did not want kids.  Now I am 27 and I have a 6 month old who  I wouldn't give back for the entire world.  I wanted kids once I found the right man.  It's ok to feel that way just be prepared for your feelings to change as you get older.

Answer 17

When I was 14 I was sure of myself too.  There's nothing wrong with it, just understand that it's possible that your plans may change over time, regardless of how positive you are about everything right now.

Answer 18

No, it's not wrong to think you have your life planned out at an early age but you should keep in mind that life does not always go the way you've planned it. So, don't lock that plan in your mind permanently. Good luck!

Answer 19

Well how are you going to get the child if you never have a husband or a man in your life.You could adopt one too.But evrything else seems pretty fine

Answer 20

no you can have a plan but as you get older stuff changes and plans change.

Answer 21

Your mind will change in six months time dear. When i was fourteen I wanted to trip on acid and travel the country. Yeah....Then at 16 I met the love of my life and we are married, settled down and we're trying to start a family. Now I'm an insurance agent and I own my business. Trust me, your mind will change.

Answer 22

if you are serious about it and strong enough to handle it then bless you just do your research first and good luck

Answer 23

i read this and it was really weird to me cause im 14, live in indiana, and want to go to Indiana university. No i dont think its bad, ur thinkin a head thats good, but be ready to accept it if all that dosent work out.

of u wanna be a single parent u should adopt but after u finissh collage.

Answer 24

You go girl - independent woman! =]

"Sisters doing it for ourselves, standing on our own two feet, ringing on their own bells" anyone?

Answer 25

no it's good, a little weird but good. you have goals

Answer 26

Not wrong, just premature.  And selfish and over-confident:  why would you want to deliberately deprive a child of a father?  Are you a black widow spider or something?