Is it wrong to want to be a "Stepford" wife?

Question

I hope I don't sound off putting to you, I am studying in my 3rd year of college and I plan to teach elementary school after university.

I guess you could call me a sort of housecat, I love domestic work & a way of showing love to me is cooking, cleaning, & most importantly, bearing his children. I believe that if he's happy, then I'm happy. I have a somewhat submissive streak & a traditional nature but I long to serve him in my role as his wife.

Answer 1

It's fine as long as you don't expect him to show much appreciation.  You sound like a doormat.

BTW, In Stepford, the men killed their wives and replaced them with robots.  Do you really want to be a dead robot?

Answer 2

I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all.  However,if you are naturally submissive, you need to take care to choose a husband who will not take advantage of you or treat you as a servant.

I dislike the term 'Stepford Wife' because Stepford Wives were actually robots, and a man who treats his wife like a robot is not someone any woman should be married to.  So long as your husband gives as well as takes,a nd cares for you as a human being, there is nothing wrong with that kind of relationship.

Another thing to remember is that not all stay-at-home wives are submissive, and not all career women are into 'equal' relationships.  These two things do not automatically go together.  In fact, some of the most submissive wives are also high-powered career women. How you relate to your spouse in your personal life doesn't really have much to do with your occupation.  

However, you may have some difficulty finding a man who is happy for you to take on a 'traditional' role and stay at home.  Most men nowadays expect their wives to work and bring in money as well as doing all the domestic work, childbearing etc.  You will need to find a man who is happy to be the breadwinner if you want to be able to devote yourself to domesticity.  A lot of men nowadays want women to do the lot.  This is called 'liberation'.

Answer 3

As long as you are getting an education and some sort of work experience under your belt before you decide to stay home, there is nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't use the term "Stepford Wife," though. "The Stepford Wives" is a novel made into movies about women who were turned into soulless robots.

Answer 4

That's your prerogative. A teaching degree will prepare you for anything, luckily.

Answer 5

You gotta do what you gotta do, as long as he keeps his end of the bargain to love and support you, then no problem.

I however do not intend to do any of those things I am very not submissive. I believe that my happiness depends on me and not someone else's.

Answer 6

That's great that you want to serve your husband, but you want him to serve you too right?

He has to be worthy of being served (someone that treats you right), if that makes sense.

I agree that just in case something happens to cause the marriage to break up, just be prepared to have the skills to stand up on your feet..Don't be too dependent.

Answer 7

Feminism should be about women having equal rights to men and being able to choose how they what to live. The fact that the feminist movement has so many hang ups about women choosing to be mothers and homemakers just totally exposes how narrow the feminist definition of 'liberation' really is. For example:

"Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession... being a family-maker is a choice that shouldn't be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that". Vivian Gornick, The Daily Illini (Urbana), 25 April 1981.

Answer 8

if this is what you choose, then go for it.  It's all about choice.  back in the day, there was no choice - today there is.  people doing what they choose to do makes people more content.  the problems occur when people feel forced into roles not of their choosing.

Answer 9

Well, there's quite a bit wrong with it; only after I've had my say the decision is wholly yours.  To be a "stepford" wife is synomonous with being submissive; meaning if he says the kettle is black so do you. He makes all the decisions; where you will be going how long you will stay; no matter what he says you don't dare argue; agree or not; your lip is zipped.  It means on all levels; you believe you are not worthy to work next to him; always ten paces behind. Now that's in addition to doing as you are told.  Somehow that doesn't fit; I know of a very submissive wife who says the kettle is black just because he says it is.  However, she never does what she's told to do; does the complete opposite, and or makes deals with him; he treats her like c**p and she puts up with it and no Proud I am not talking about you. Heck, if he told her the sugar is salty and salt is sweet she'd say the same thing; that's not obedience, that's being mindless; in other words she's not obeying him; she's allowing him to control her.  You want that life you can have it; it's rough waters ahead, because that woman I'm telling you about is miserable out of her skull.

Answer 10

Because Stepford wives were mindless robots their husbands created after doing away with their genuine wives, because they didn't want women to think. They wanted cooking and cleaning, walking s*x toys.

Is that what you aspire to? If so, I feel very, very sorry for you.

Answer 11

Nothing is wrong with wanting to do the things a Stepford Wife would do. A submissive wife isn't a robot who does EVERYTHING her husband say, she is a woman with a mind of her own that WANTS to do everything her husband wants. Her husband can't make her be submissive, it is a change of heart and a humble willingness to do anything for him because he is the one man you chose out of all the men in the world! He is the one man that you want to live with until death do you part, don't you think that you'd want to make sure that he is at peace in his home?

EDIT @ Kessie: Why are you ok with her being a Stepford Wife and not me? Predjudice? Is is becasue I am a Christian?

Answer 12

Your life is just that--"you're life". Do what you want. Be sure that you and your partner are on the same page. Anyone else who doesn't like it doesn't really matter.

Answer 13

Didn't you see the movie? (Original).

You can do what you like - assuming your partner agrees and it's truely what you want. Just don't assume that everyone else thinks the same or wants the same and it's fine. It's your choice.

Answer 14

So who is going to bring your husband a warm lunch, bake cookies and clean the house while you are teaching, staying late (because you will) and full filling other duties of a teacher?

I am an elementary teacher (1st grade).  While I would love to spoil my husband and deeply believe that family ALWAYS comes first, I also love my job, my friends and my own life.  I do not think you truly want to be a Stepford Wife.  Otherwise you would not want to hold your own job (besides an elementary school really isn't the place to meet single men who are able to support you).  But I do believe you want to become a good wife and mother and keep a good house.  

There is nothing wrong with wanting a traditional way of life and wanting to care for and love someone else and make them happy, there is something wrong with acting like a robot and with holding your own opinions.

Answer 15

It isn't wrong, though it is risky. If (God forbid) your husband dies or is injured, your life will take a hit as you are totally dependent on him.

But being submissive isn't wrong. You're free to do what you like. Feminists have done well to give women the choice to be independent, a choice they never had before. But what they're doing just a bit wrong is discouraging traditionalism. They can't promote choice for women yet say the choice to be a Stepford Wife is 'wrong'. Some of them do that, and that is sad.

You're free to do what you want.

Answer 16

Do what you do!  If that's what makes you happy, do it.  Just don't be upset when the children have left the nest later on and you realize that you've forgotten who you are, and what you wanted in life.

Answer 17

If you have noticed, when you stated that you will get a degree, they slam you for your decision. Feminist think only high school dropouts should think of family first, or you are wasting your education. Professor will be here soon to remind everyone she has an advanced degree, so she is smarter than everyone else.

Feminist think an advanced degree allows them to spout stupidity because of a piece of paper. The fools do not realize other also have advanced degrees and understand they are worthless.

Answer 18

Just to remind everyone ...

Meetings of the Stepford Men's Association are held at 7.30 every Tuesday evening.

Please make a special effort to be at this week's meeting because we have a guest speaker from the Patriarchy.