Is love reserved only for biological children?

Question

I ask this based on a question that was previously posted (of which I am unable to read the answers as I have been blocked).

Answer 1

Absolutely not. What is it about biology that is so special? People fall in love with others where there is no biology at all between them. I think there is no question that that same lack of being biologically related applies to love for children as well.

Answer 2

I have an adopted and also a biological child. They are all adults now and I am actually a bit closer at times to my adopted daughter. Like the poem says she was not born under my heart but in it.

Answer 3

Answering from the experience of being adopted 22 years ago when I was 7- love is not reserved just for biological children. Not all biological parents have the love to give, luckily there are adoptive parents with plenty. You can't tell me the love I share with my dad is any less true then the love other daughters have with their biological dads.

Answer 4

No, every child deserves to be loved and treated fairly. But I think there are different types of "love" I don't think I could "love" a child I adopt the same way I "love" my own, because my biological child and I go back another 9 months! BUT if I treat them the same, fairly and equally, there should not be a problem, because kids/people also grow on you. Love grows with bonding and your experiences together.

The trick is for an adult to be honest with him/herself before adoption.

Answer 5

If my bio parents loved me, they had a very disgusting way of showing it.  Well wait...I guess my father DID love me - but not in the way a father is supposed to love a daughter.  

I too am blocked from the other question, so I can only guess that it is to again bash APs for wanting to love a child that they do not "share DNA with".  The only thing that I can say to that is - I thank God every day that he placed two people in my life who were willing to take me in - as broken as I was - and love me unconditionally.  Their love is what saved me.  Did they have to love me?  No.  Did they CHOOSE to love me - YES and that makes it so much more special for me.

Answer 6

I dont believe so -a girlfriend of mine who had a child together in her first marriage, then remarried and decided to adopt this time-she told me " the love for a child grows inside you long before the child actually comes. I thought this to be quite profound considering inside was not the womb but rather the heart ; )

Answer 7

No No No and I say NO again.  Love is much deeper than the blood and DNA that make a person.

Answer 8

Of course not.

The person who blocks would actually have to be an adoptive parent to understand and experience the love that you CAN have for a non-biological child.

Answer 9

I'm going to put a different spin on this question. There are different kinds of love but once I love someone that doesn't change. I have always been amazed that something as small as my fist (human heart) always has room for one more. I still love all my old boyfriends. I love Rachael's father more than words can say, (try explaining that one to your husband), and I love "most" of my kids friends unconditionally.

I think it depends on the person. I was devistated the other day when I found out that one of the neighbor kids is moving this summer. Before I could even think, I told him he always had a place with us, and he knows I mean it. Now I have to tell my husband. I know this is suposed to be adopted vs biological, but I can't put categories on my love for someone. If I love you, part of you is mine, in my heart.

Answer 10

No.

Answer 11

Not sure what the other question was about.



I'm blocked too and I felt, oh, so all alone...like my feelings were dismissed and that as an adoptee I  had been rejected yet again.  Hey, great to hear that I'm in good company!!

Oh, the question.   I never, ever doubted that I was loved less because I was adopted.  I have a little adopted nephew who lost his  "real" amom to cancer-  and I would throw myself in front of a bus to save that kid, as I would my own daughters.  Biology has no bearing on my ability to love.  Love has no limits.

Answer 12

No reason being "For God so loved the world he sent his only begotten son and his name would be Jesus Christ" We are to love our neighbors, siblings, or adopted children as Christ loves us unconditionally.

Answer 13

Not at all

Edit: Wilmadeene & Still Me, I'm loving your ideas of adoption advocates uniting & having each other's backs in the adoption section!

Answer 14

dont worry that other question made no sense

love can be for anyone.  my mom loves me maybe even more because i'm adopted      i know some people who are biological related to there parents and they don't seem like there parents want them at all.   I even know twins who hate each other.

Answer 15

It depends on the person or the parent. Being able to give love is a part of a character of a person and that has nothing to do with being biological parent or not. Some biological parents love their children less compared to those parents who adopted a child. However, in average, I think biological parents provide more love. My point is, the biggest factor is the character of the parent.

Answer 16

is love reserved for biological children?  I am so shocked that I have to even answer this question-    all children need love, and from PERSONAL experience I am adopted, I was totally loved.  I even feel that I was loved by my birth mom because she gave me life- same from my 2 adopted kids- I LOVE them , because God placed them in my home- They did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart.

Answer 17

no because even if a child is not truely part of the bloodline they are still siblings who SHOULD love and care for each other the same runs for parents if a child is adopted they should love you but you have to treat them right in order for that to happen

Answer 18

Absolutely not!

Answer 19

Even while I was pregnant for my own son, I wondered if I was going to love him and if we would have anything in common. I was scared out of my mind...and he was my own flesh and blood growing inside me. When I finally saw him and got to know him then I loved him more than anything. No one can really know a mother's love until you are one. It is strong! I think anyone can say that they will always get along with their child, but once I saw his face...I was in love! It didn't matter what he did or how bratty he was being on a certain day. I still loved him...even when I didn't like what he was doing sometimes.

I have 2 adopted children and I often wondered about loving them but at one point they almost went to live with another family (when we were the foster parents) and I hated them being gone. They annoyed me like crazy when they were here but the love is still there.

Answer 20

If love were only reserved for biological children, what a rotten world this would be to live in, and honestly, I wouldn't want to be a part of it.

Answer 21

Funny, I initially hesitated to post an answer to this question.  Certainly growing up with my parents 3 biological sons there were times I felt distinctions were made between their bio and adopted kids.  Then an hour ago my parents, who are travelling in Israel at the moment (not a good time for them to be there!!)and celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary today called me.  It is incredibly hard to reach Australia by land line from Israel at the moment, to call me they had to borrow someones mobile/cell phone and they could only call one of their children.  I have called and passed on their love to their sons for them, but yet again, as they have so many times, my parents understood my fear for them and my longing to hear from them on such an important day and went to extraordinary legnths to show their love for me.  No love definately isnt reserved only for biological children.

*EDIT FOR WILLER*

Where do you get the idea that our birth family/parents whatever, didnt love us????  Being adopted doesnt mean that you arent loved!!

Answer 22

I have both biological children and an adopted daughter. I love them all and despite what some people think, I love them the same.

Answer 23

Of course not!

Answer 24

Lucky you for being blocked.  I count myself with you, uniting to take back the board (Edit - thanks Still Me - love that idea!) with others that are like-minded.  

What an insulting question implying that adoptive parents can't be emotionally healthy adults if they love their children of adoption unconditionally.

Love is something that we can feel for a child adopted or from our womb.  Period.  End of story.

Those people who feel that they can't love a child that does not possess their own DNA should not adopt.  Period.

I have an adopted daughter (who is my ray of sunshine and will be until the day I leave this earth) that I adore and a child that came to us from my DNA and my uterus (who is the smile and laughter of my every day - also until the end of time).  Do I love them differently, yes, but not because of their DNA and whether I share it with them.  I love them differently because they are different people.  I love each of my sisters (and I am adopted) differently.  

I am sure that I will get thumbs down for this answer, and this next comment, but I dare any one of the nay-sayers to come to my home and tell me which of my children is adopted based on how I am with my love for her.  You won't be able to tell, they both are loved and treated as the wonderful people they are.  Period.

Answer 25

It is very illogical for a parent not loving his biological child. Yet more illogical for a parent not to love his adopted child. In the first place, why did that parent try to adopt a child if he will not love the child? So I may conclude that adopted children deserve more love than biological children because they did not get the love they deserve from their real parents.

Answer 26

I wondered how it would feel the day I met my soon to be children... I worried that it would be "different" because they were walking and talking when they first saw my face...

For me I ***Thought*** I loved them instantly but, it was not confirmed until a family member made a snide remark and I saw the Mother In Me attack and protect my child... It was that moment I knew the Love was real...

I always wonder why people connect Love and Blood because to me this would mean there is No Real Love between husbands and wives unless they are brothers and sisters...  

I wonder why it is so hard to understand that a parent CAN Love a child no matter how they came to be their child's parent...

Answer 27

adopted biological green purle polkadots it doesnt matter they are your children no less

Answer 28

of course not.

It is not the child's fault if he's either adopted or illegitimate.

every single one of us is given the opportunity to be loved and to love in return.

NEVER EVER MAKE A CHILD FEEL AS IF HE IS NOT LOVED. That's just plain cruel.

Answer 29

of course not, every child deserve to be loved biological or  adopted.

Answer 30

While I don't know if everyone can love an adopted child I do know that I can.  I have a son whois adopted and I can't imagine loving him more.  My husband was a bit worried about how he would feel about having an adopted child...he fell in love with my son the night he was born.  I would imagine that it would work that way for most people.

Answer 31

Love the reverse question, by the way!  I, too am blocked from the question below.  We are of that elite group who blocked us the minute we disagreed with them.  We adoption advocates should perhaps join forces and become a bit more active by supporting each other to try and take back this board so we can have all opinions honored!

Anyway.....your question is perfect.  Can all people love an adopted child is like asking can all people love a child.  Of course not.  Look at the child abuse rates.  Some people cannot love themselves, much less another human being.  Adoption or not.

Maybe we need to add --

Can all people place a child for adoption?  No.

Can all people raise a child?  No.

Are all people sad to have been adopted?  No.

Are all people happy about adopting?  No.

Etc........

Point being, we are not the same.  And that is o.k.  

Thanks!