Is my 13-month old challenging me? How should I respond?

Question

My daughter is 13 and a half months. I swear she is starting to challenge me already but at the same time I'm wonder how can she be thinking so complexly already? I don't know how to respond. Here is a typical scenario: We are sitting down to eat and she knows very well I don't like her throwing her food onto the floor. I look at her straight in the eye and tell her "NO" firmly and she stares me straight back and takes another fistful and chucks it on the floor. I tell her no again, and still the same action follows. I swear she understands the word no, and that she is not to be doing that, but like I said, I get the dagger eyes back and repeated behavior in total defiance. How do I respond? I know 13 months is way too young for time outs. WHAT DO I DO?! Please help!

Answer 1

That is exactly what my 14 month old does. I noticed she does that when she is full. Yes she is to young for time out and pick pick up her own mess. She is still a baby for crying out loud. Take the food away when she starts to do that and she will soon realize that when she throws it on the floor she gets it taken away.

Answer 2

yes, your daughter is challenging you. this is exactly what my daughter did at that age... and to my great surprise at 22 months, it still continues!  we tried many things and nothing worked... now what we do, when we see her about to throw her food on the floor, we take her hand then redirect her attention to something else. we suddenly start to talk about how much fun she had at the park , etc. this is the only way to get her to stop... it works most of the time.

EDITED TO ADD: i do believe she's too young for time outs... i know my daughter was at that age... i don't think they are able to understand that they are asked to stay in the corner because of something they did... they won't be able to understand the connection.

Answer 3

Urban:

I was completely aware of my surroundings by the time I was 9 months old. Don't underestimate your kid's awareness!

I think she's too young to be punished, and she isn't doing this to be bad anyway, it's part of exploring her surroundings. She probably likes the feel of the foot in her hands and is facinated by it falling to the floor. I wouldn't get too upset about it because it's completely expected behavior and if she thinks she can get the better of you, then it becomes a game to her. Just take the food and feed her yourself. Maybe play the airplane game.

Answer 4

Yes, she is already challenging you and no, she is not too young for time out. She is also not too young to pick the food up when she drops it on the floor and take it to the trash. Take the rest of the food away when she starts throwing it.

Answer 5

I would recommend taking your child's food away from her and let her know that you do not approve of her behavior.  She is too young for a quote time out although not too young to understand what you are asking her to do.  Be sure to be very consistent with her because if you are not she will continue to test her limits! Good luck to you!

Answer 6

My daughters 16 months and also does this.  When she throws the food once I tell her "If you throw it again mommy your ALL DONE" (of course she does it again) I take the food and take her out of her chair.  (I would not make her clean it up that would make no sense to her).  As for other things like hitting I tell her no (she does it again) and I put her on the step.  I let her sit for maybe 20 sec. I have done this with her since she was about 13 months and she knows what "the step" is.  I know my daughter will continue doing these things for awile but I feel like I am setting good guidelines for discipline.

Answer 7

Yes, a 13 month old can certainly challenge you and test the limits.  This is where you need to be consistent with your rules, and patient with her as she learns them.  If you don't want her throwing the food, tell her "NO" as you have been.  But then if she does it again, take the food and end mealtime.  She will get the message soon enough.  And be prepared for the tantrums that may come along with learning the rules - kids can begin tantrums as early as 15 months.  Until you feel she is old enough for time-outs, you need to remove her from the situation when she misbehaves  :)

Answer 8

My son is 15 months old, and he's pretty much done with throwing food on the floor.  He still will do it every once in a while if it's something he just hates, but he kind of sneaks it off the side of the tray and drops it out of my sight: not in a defiant way.  The only time he does it just to annoy me now is if he has indicated that he is done and I don't take away the tray fast enough.  How did I get here from where you are?  I would take away the tray as soon as he did it if I thought he was done, and otherwise, I would say "mommy doesn't like it when you throw food" or "oh, no, that makes work for mommy" in a very sad/disappointed tone.  I believe that by saying "no" you are setting up a power struggle for behavior you can't actually prevent.  I think you will be better off trying to make her want to please you (give her a lot of praise and tell her how wonderful she is whenever you have the opportunity) and act very sad/disappointed when she does something annoying.