Is my 8 year old grandson being punished extremely?

Question

Sleeping on the floor with only a blanket for over 1 week because he jumped on the bed and when told they would take his bed back he told them to go ahead. He has recently moved to a new state and was off of his ADHD medicine for 4 weeks, new man in his mothers life. He has been back talking and being mean. Three days of misbehavior has caused him to also stand in the corner every day for 30 minutes for over 1 week, no toys, no TV for several weeks and his trip home to see his relatives this summer has also been cancelled.

Am I the only one that thinks this is extreme punishment?

Answer 1

Yes it's extreme.  I'm thinking his behavior is because of being off the medication, and not his fault.

Answer 2

wow....

sounds scary... i think this is waaay too much... i mea he could be acting up for several reasons...

one he moved and two the new man..

kids dont take this well... they get jealous.. i have a 4 yr old and it was hard for him to accept my boyfriend... but eventually he did...

i think u should definetly talk to the mom....

this may cause him to misbehave even more....

i agree with mayb punishing him with 1 day no tv but thats too much....

Good Luck!

Answer 3

way to extreme unless he doesn't wanna go see his realative's stand up for him that is way severe.

Answer 4

Yeah kind of.  First he should get back on the medication.  He's only 8 and with so many changes in his life poor boy.

Answer 5

his mother needs to be punished how can she take away his bed she does not sound like a good mother to me she needs to put her son first and stop bringing new men in his life and medication is not always the answer maybe he needs some type of counseling

Answer 6

Should visit relatives, but the "stranger" is the issue,

Answer 7

that is torture

Answer 8

Sounds a bit unfair to me. The problem with ADHD meds is that you can't give them then take them away and not expect issues. Their bodies become addicted, just like a drug addict (I know it sounds horrible, but true).

Also, by continuously taking things from him, you force him not to care or have respect for his belongings because at your whim you take them away.

I would have a serious talk with his mother. Go visit if you can, your excuse could be because she cancelled his trip. If all this change is for the sake of her new man, she needs a reality check.

Answer 9

Yes he should be on meds.  Meds for ADHD do not only help with attention but with impulse control.  Kids with adhd have very little impulse control and this can cause some of them to misbehave in a dangerous / serious manner.  There are a lot of changes going on so I am sure this is cause him to misbehave along with having no meds to help him control his actions.  The sleeping on the floor is what I really think is extreme and no tv for weeks is a bit much for general misbehavior, he won't learn a lesson from things like that.

Answer 10

yess .. omg they will ook back on this day and knwo it has scared there kid for life like omg hes 8 .. kids 8 love to jump on beds and some dont know right from wrong that is the worst thing to do to a kid... me myself i let my kids have what ever and do whatever cause i know they will only live once and one day i could wake up and they might not be there.

Answer 11

Making him sleep on the floor with only one blanket is very extreme. Its extreme enough that if child welfare were to be called his parents could be in big trouble. Parents are required to provide children with at least a mattress on the floor.

Answer 12

I'm sorry but you need to get him Grandma! No child should be treated that way. I have read so many stories and also know that "new" men in womens lives will influence them to treat there children different.

Answer 13

Wow. He is only eight for Heaven's sake!! Give him a break!! My little sister is 8 and she has ADHD, but c'mon! Do something- the poor kid!

Answer 14

This is abuse--rescue him.

Answer 15

No you are not ! I think it is cruel and you need to step in and stop it . I have a adhd son and i recently toke mine off meds for good and have had little trouble with him . the meds can cause all kinds of things and are dangerous and being how he has adhd he can not handle punisnemts like that he should never be punished more then 8 minutes because that is all his brain can handle the time should be 1 minute per year .. The reason he is doing this is because he cant understand in 30 minute time frames .... it really makes me mad because my situation was so simaliar do this until i toke my son and myself to therapy to deal with a adhd kid who ever is raisinghim has no clue on what to do and could potientally cause more harm to the child ..and then to cancel his trip to see his realatives is b-o-l-o-g-n-a .. that is punishing other people who love him as well it makes me wonder what else is going on in the

home

Answer 16

This is extreme. Please don't conclude that his meds help control his behavior. At this time he shouldn't be on meds. Not while school is out. His mother should know how to redirect his misbehavior for favorable behavior. Obviously standing in the corner is not working. She needs to try another punishment. Adhd meds are for attention. Side effect for some children is it calms the behavior. The meds should only be taken when going to school. When out of school and energy drink or a mt.dew works wonders for adhd children. G/L

Answer 17

You're not alone. Guys like me agree completely with you, with all of these things in his life, it's like the behavior is caused almost by an act of God. It can be compared to veterans who have problems b/c they were affected by forces they had no control over. I suggest you stay for a while and overrule his mom and give everything back to him and go behind his mom. Don't worry if people will think you're undermining his mom's authority.

Answer 18

Absolutely. Dictation and hardcore discipline will never move anyone anywhere. Take this TRUE story for example: Ok, I come from a family in which my parents are, and always have been in a happy, stable marriage. My dad, though, can sometimes act bipolar. In some instances, he will be extremely loving and caring (almost too much!); however, in other cases, he will get unnecessarily angry and irritated. Because my father is sometimes irritable and not pleasurable to spend time with, we have not built up a satisfactory father/son-trust relationship. Therefore, we are liable to become frustrated with one another at any given moment, over a minor incident.

My mom, however, is very much different. She has always been there to encourage and support me. She knows me well enough to understand what I desire before I tell her, and she understands pretty much everything about me and my life. Therefore, we have built up a very stable mother/son-trust relationship.

Because of these circumstances, I have developed a very comfortable lifetime bond with my mom that simply isn't present with my dad. Love and understanding really is the key to behavioral management. My dad attempts discipline through dictation and harsh verbal scolding. My mom attempts discipline through trust and love. As you can probably guess, this has caused me to have more respect for my mom than my dad.

Hopefully through this story, you can now understand that hardcore discipline is NOT the way to accomplish anything. Should this method of punishment continue through the teenage years, your grandson is susceptible to becoming a bully and dictator toward others just as his parents are to him. You really need to get in touch with this boy's mother or father and calmly explain what I have just told you.

Answer 19

no i think your daughter or son has issues with punishing kids

they should see someone

Answer 20

I agree with u and your grandson should be put back on his meds.  His mom should Have stayed single until her boy was an adult. Boys are possessive over their moms. My bro has ADHD  and he is very possessive over my mom.

Answer 21

That is extreme punishment! Talk to the parent about it!

Answer 22

I think things ARE  a bit extreme. PLEASE don't listen to the person that said no ADHD meds in the summer! If you take them off they will jsut have to get it in their little system again before school starts and they have a world of problems in the summer. Also to the lady that said Mountain Dew or energy drinks, ARE YOU NUTS? Doctors tell you NO caffeine for a child with adhd! JEEZ I bet your kid is bouncing off the wall!

Answer 23

yes!

Answer 24

oh yea it wont work either

Answer 25

Well no but the bed part is!

Answer 26

Is this "new man" in his mother's life married to her or just a sleeping in partner?  If he is just living with mother  without being an actual step parent and HE is punishing the child then I'd be calling CPS because he has no business punishing anyone's child.

Answer 27

i'm sorry but i am going to have to disagree.. i think he needs to be punished more. obviously punishing an 8 year old the way a 3 year old should by putting his nose in the corner isnt working.. he needs a spanking i think.. you may not believe in those but a few taps on the hiney might do the trick. yes there are alot of changes that he has to deal with and i think that the mother shouldnt introduce men into her childs life unless they are going to get married. the trip home being cancled is a little extreme i think though. he should be able to see his family. but if he is going to act that way then yes i think he should be punished just as is.

Answer 28

Very extreme.  "New man in his mother's life" -there's your answer.  Unfortunately, some moms put their love/s*x life ahead of their children's best interests.  

The child has had a lot of stressors in his life recently: new home, no new friends probably, off meds for 4 weeks, new male figure in mom's life.

I am finding with my two children 7 and 9, that this is the age for talking back.  Of course, your grandson needs to be corrected for such behavior, but what the punishments are seem much too harsh and prolonged to fit the "crime".  A week's punishment for jumping on the bed and talking back is utterly ridiculous and very mean (shame on your daughter).