Is my 9 year old daughter too young to clean her room?

Question

i like to have my house clean but the only room that is dirty is my daughter i have to constantly tell her to clean the room. am i being too strict?

Answer 1

No way are you being strict, she's is perfectly old enough to do that, heck my daughter is 5½ and is starting to do that herself (still learning journey in progress though), my 3yr old is too young however, but 9 is definitely not too young, heck at that age she should have a few jobs around the home not just her room,  

Answer 2

my niece is four... i clean my room and she comes and begs me to help.. she'll cry if i tell her no... and she's good.. she'll push the vacuum.. of course i clean it properly when she's done... but she helps with the bed and everything.. she ask to sweep the floor of the kitchen.. she even tried to pack the dishwasher.. i try explaining that she's to young at four even though she's not... but she wants to... and if she can do it then so can a nine year old... she actually should of started earlier

Answer 3

she is old enough to clean if she does not do it tell her nothing you can do but sit there in your room no tv no music nothing she is quite old enough to start cleaning and learning ho wlife is. its oke to help a few times and show her how but then it should be her respnosible every day and get ther to do it you can put poster u p with her name subjects to do and stuf f like that.

Answer 4

I sincerely hope you're joking.  My son is not even 4 yet, and he cleans his own room.  Your daughter should have been made to clean hers by herself years ago.

Answer 5

Of course not! I cleaned up my own things from the time I was able to walk and play alone. 9 is definitely old enough to do that--she could have done it at 4! She can do every chore around the house.

Answer 6

Absolutely not, if they are old enough to get the toys out by themselves and make the mess they are old enough to put them away. I started teaching my boys to pick up after themselves when they were 4 and 5 years old.

Now they are 10 and 12 and they have chores that they do every day around the house in exchange for them doing their chores every day we pay for their extra curricular activities and give up our time to take them back and forth.  

Answer 7

No, you're not too strict. She should at the least turn down her bed, put dirt clothes in the hamper, and put away her toys before bedtime. Nothing should be out in the middle of the floor.

Tell her that starting next Sunday, anything on the floor when she goes to bed is gone - she obviously does not want it. Don't really toss it, just put it away where she can't find it. Make sure all the other adults are in agreement first!  

Answer 8

Not at all. If u do everything for her u will spoil her too much and that is not good because u wont always be there to do everything for her. So for her own good u gotta teach her to do her own stuff so she can take care of herself.

Answer 9

just tell her to clean her room, its her responsibility to keep it clean, but if her room is messy and she's not home while your cleaning the house, why don't you go do it yourself, i had to clean my room since i was 7

Answer 10

My kids have been picking up toys and putting clothes in laundry and dishes in sink since they could walk completely.

I'm serious. At 15 to 18 months they were picking up after themselves. There's no reason they shouldn't. It's part of life. If your 9 year old hasn't started, yet.. it is about time she learned and fast.

Answer 11

wat are you thinking 9 years old is not to young my 3 year old cousin cleans up without having to to tell him but my other cousins they dont clean there 9 AND 12 and there mom always cleans the room for them and they get everthing they want there so spoiled you should make your daughter clean

Answer 12

I helped my mom clean scence i was about 4 and before that she got me a pretend vacume cleaner so i could pretend to vacume like she did, you need to make your daughter clean duh!

Answer 13

I don't think its 2 young personally.

Maybe you can help her along, with it to make sure she knows how, it can be overwhelming to clean up a room by yourself.  even as an adult I have issues, with it.

But I do better when I have some help.

don't DO it for her though, just tell her where to put things, let her do it though.

that's my feeling though. :)

Good-Luck.   :)

Answer 14

No way. My son is 9 as well and has been cleaning his room since he was 4 ( with help at that age of course ). He also does his dishes, does his laundry, picks up dog p**p and helps vacuuming. I also find little things here and there for him to help out with. I figure he only has 9 more years to try to learn how to take care of his own house and he enjoys helping out.

Answer 15

Ummm, no she isnt.  In fact, this is the perfect time for her to start learning responsibility.

My eight-year-old is responsible for her room and taking out the trash.  This may seem easy but, there are 7 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms in my house in addition to the trash can in the kitchen.

Answer 16

At 9 she can definitely be cleaning her own room.  Unless you have sat down with her and identified a specific place for everything it is possible that she doesn't know how.   My mom is an awesome organizer and how she taught me to clean my room when I was young was by doing things one at a time, ex. first pick up all the dirty clothes and put them in the basket.  Next pick up all the stuffed animals, put them in the hammock, then pick up all the Barbies, put them in the Barbie stuff box (we had a lot of those plastic drawers from Walmart in the closet to help organize things, everything was labeled), pick up all the trash, etc.  Good Luck!  

Answer 17

my 9 year old son cleans his room and also helps do other chores around the house.  i am not saying he is used but he has to pick up his mess and he even does laundry that is his.  that came about when i told him to bring all his stuff out of his room and bathroom and he did not do it.  he then had to do the laundry that was not there when i was washing.  now that he has figured out he can do it he does it without being told(most of the time).  he says he can wear his favorite shirt and short when he wants. lol  i do not care how often he wears it as long as it is clean.

Answer 18

Too young?  Hardly.

My now ten year old daughter learned to help pick up her toys around her first birthday.  As she became more able, we gave her more responsibility in regards to cleaning up after herself.

She and my 9 year old son are responsible for their own rooms.  Each night when we tuck them in, anything not put away goes to "toy jail" (i.e. a closet) and does not come back out until they do an extra chore to earn it back.

I go in their rooms once a week to do the deep cleaning-changing bed linens, windows, etc. but I expect it to be CLEAN at all times.  Perhaps it might be a bit messy, but it better not be DIRTY.

You are being too lenient, in my opinion.  Perhaps start by going in there with her daily and showing her what needs to be done, and then start letting her do it on her own but check when she is finished, and eventually let her be responsible for it without your checking behind her all of the time.  It might take a few weeks (bad habits are hard to break), but it will be well worth it.

Answer 19

no my sister has been cleaning her room sense she was 4 and she is only five, but when me and my siblings have to do our chores she always asks my mom if she can have chores, so her chores are to clean her room and feed the dog. and she does really well. so when it gets messy my mom says please go clean your room and she does. so here is how my mom got her to do it. email me and i will tell you.

[e-mail]

p.s. she also loves to windex.

Answer 20

no you are being to strict... i have been helping my mom do the dishes and laundry and cleaning my own room since i was like 5. she wanted me to know how to do all of this kinda stuff so that when i moved out and lived by my self i would know how to do it all...

Answer 21

My 3 year old knows how to pick up after himself. I don't think you're being too strict expecting your 9 year old to clean up after herself. In fact, if you bug her about it constantly, I think you're doing the right thing. Even if she's just not a neat freak, at least you're sending the message that you won't give up and will not lower your standards for her. She may hate it now but she'll appreciate it when she's older and starts living with people who are sloppier than her.

Answer 22

No. Nine-years-old isn't too young. Five-year-olds should clean their rooms. Waiting until your daughter is older can be a HUGE mistake. That will make her think she doesn't have to clean her room. Think about it...She will be Ten-years-old. That's double digits. She needs to start now, and know she has to do it herself. You may think you're being too strict, but if she doesn't listen, be stricter. She's old enough to listen as well. If she doesn't or back talks you, punish her for one day. If that doesn't work, go up to Two,Three, Four, Five...and so on. Hope I helped! Good luck!

Answer 23

She is plenty old enough. My son (9) and daughter (6) both clean their rooms, empty the dishes and pull laundry out of the dryer each time I tell them to. My son takes out the trash also. Anytime I see a horrible mess that they made, I make them stop what they are doing and clean up. They have been doing it for about a year.

Answer 24

my 4 yr old cleans her room, if she pitches a fit about it she gets a toy taken away for 5 days in her site where she can see it. If she continues to not do it I take another toy. I've only hhad to do that once with her & now she cleans her room. I do let her play & i just remind her that what ever mess she makes she has to clean. My mom never really made it a point to keep us up with cleaning our rooms & it would have been alot easier on her if she would have enforced it, i wish she would have.

Answer 25

if she can walk and carry things, she can begin to clean her room.  this skill is best taught when the child is very young.  since you've never done this, it's time to teach.  start by eliminating the majority of the excess in her room -donate most of it.  provide her with a desk and other storage areas.  refrain from buying non essentials in the future.  instead of always "telling her", join her in cleaning.  this is a great time for bonding and conversation.  

Answer 26

NO! I was told to pick-up at age 5 and so was my little brother. At 7 I did my own laundry, at age 9 I was doing my parents and doing dishes!

I think you are real nice if she hasn't had chores till 9....

Answer 27

My 2 year old brother is supposed to clean up after himself.

BUT, I do believe that a persons bedroom is their own personal space and it should be up to them how they keep it. Dirty as in clothes and toys all over, well ok (it's not like you spend time in her room, right?), but dirty as in never vacuuming, leaving food all over the place, is different.

Answer 28

Nope. I starting cleaning my own room when I was 5. If they know where things are supposed to go and can pick it up..they can put it away too.

Make a point system out of it..and reward her when she does it the way you want it. Allow her to play music or something while she cleans..sometimes its just too boring.  

Answer 29

No, she is not.  

The younger us parents teach our children  to take responsiblity, the more well established they will become.  

I had my 9 year boy(a few years ago) take responsibility of his room.

I advised him about dust mites and that was enough to scare him.

He also was responsible for swiffing the floors and the vacuum.  This was only asked of him, once a week on Fridays. At first he hesitate, but then it became a weekly routine.  

If my nine year only was able to start, it should be a clean weap for your daughter.  She will learn to take pride in her belongs.

Good luck,

Alexis.

Answer 30

nope you aint being to strict. I have been cleaning my room since i was about 5. My parents had to constantly tell me to clean it. Now i am 13 and i do it with out them having to tell me... She will learn if she dose it now. I did.

Answer 31

I was just talking to a Friend about this , No she is not.I do not know what happened in parenting but somewhere a couple of generations have grown up with no clue how to survive in the real world because mom and dad took some bad advise and allowed there kid to be ......well spoiled.

I got CPS called on me one time because my kids went to school and said they had chores, when that lady came to my house I sat her on my couch and said yes I do require they learn household skill, making beds picking up laundry , cleaning after themselfs, like it or not I am not going to be around forever ,and beleive it or not I am doing more for them by providing these skills then I will ever do for them by ignoring it. we were working the farm when we were old enough to walk . We had way more responsibility than what is required of these kids today.

I am not going to turn my kids out knowing no ethic , no moral, no value for things , now if you can argue that with me write me up . She told me to have a nice day and I have never seen her again .